National Day of Quarantine

National Day of Quarantine 01

President Barack Obama issued an “Executive Order” making November 4, 2014 a “National Day of Quarantine” for those Americans who are most at risk of “contracting” the Ebola virus.

“You cannot get Ebola through casual contact like sitting next to someone on a bus,” the President said in a press conference shortly after signing the Executive Order.

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“However you can catch it while waiting in line to vote.”

The “Center for Disease Control and Prevention” (CDC) confirmed Obama’s statement saying “You cannot catch Ebola from sitting next to someone on a bus. But you can spread Ebola by riding on the bus.”

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Secretary John (Ketchup) Kerry.

Secretary John (Ketchup) Kerry also confirmed it saying: “So I can’t catch it on a bus, but it can spread on a bus? I’m all for it, before I was against it!”

Disease Director Thomas Frieden has declared that Ebola is only “semi-transmittable” and therefore only official party-certified Doctors can actually impose quarantines on an as-needed-basis.

In the meantime, those who believe they are exhibiting “Ebola” symptoms, while not “contagious” until after the November 4th elections, are asked to “remain at home” because of the possibility they may “intimidate” women and minorities into not voting.

State hospitals are required to provide full “healthcare benefits” to any patients who report to them complaining of “Ebola,” which the Party knows will show the “Power of Collective Medicine” and the need to end the “bourgeois practice” of private hospitals.

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The necessity of “ObolaCare” will shine out as this disease, largely spread through contact with Republicans, and will be “trounced” through centralized “medicine” under State leadership.

In the meantime, citizens are “encouraged” not to worry about the disease, or any of the “other diseases” which may or may not be “spreading” throughout America.

Party members “opting” to not vaccinate their children are still “encouraged” to fully participate in the “political process” and continue their “labors” with the spreading of “Socialism,” including attendance at “fundraising dinners” by President Obama.

Citizens are encouraged to keep healthy through “diet, frequent gym workouts and sexual activity” with one’s self or others.

The Executive Order “only” applies to registered Republicans who are currently “less likely” to be receiving government provided “healthcare” and are therefore more “susceptible” to catching Ebola.

The “quarantine” will go into effect at “midnight” on November 3rd and will last until the “polls” close on November 4th.

Republicans will be “allowed” to move freely throughout “society” so long as they do not come with “1000 feet” of a polling booth.

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Many government agencies have been well “armed” over the past six years and will be “mobilized” on election day to “enforce” the quarantine.

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The “Center for Gun Control” (CGC) has announced that the State will not impose any “travel restrictions” due to the Ebola outbreak until “after” the November 4 elections to ensure that all “workers and peasants” can have free access to ballots and polling places during this “critical” struggle for progress.

This won’t have much effect in Ohio, where “early” voting has already begun. In fact there were “objections and back-and-forth court decisions” about having “only a month” of early voting, because such a short time is considered “racism.”

Apparently, only persons of a “pallid color” can figure out how to “get to the polls” in less than a month.

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At least President Obama understands the “white man’s burden” and is willing to make sure we all “carry our fair” share of it.

Ebola will not “stand in the way” of your vote. Turn out for the November 4 vote.

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This is your “October Revolution!”

Before leaving for a “relaxing” round of golf, the President “concluded” his press conference by “reassuring” the American people that they will have a “safe” Election Day.

“Although we have had our disagreements, I more than anyone want Republicans to survive. Perhaps not as a political party, but as the taxpayers of our great nation.”

I’ve seen you twice in a short time
Only a week since we started
It seems to me for every time
I’m getting more open hearted
I was an impossible case
No one ever could reach me
But I think I can see in your face
There’s a lot you can teach me
So I wanna know what’s the name of the game?
Does it mean anything to you?
What’s the name of the game?
Can you feel it the way I do?
Tell me please ’cause I have to know
I’m a bashful child beginning to grow
And you make me talk and you make me feel
And you make me show what I’m trying to conceal
If I trust in you, would you let me down?
Would you laugh at me if I said I care for you?
Could you feel the same way too
I wanna know the name of the game
I have no friends, no one to see
And I am never invited
Now I am here talking to you
No wonder I get excited
Your smile and the sound of your voice
And the way you see through me
Got a feeling, you give me no choice
But it means a lot to me
So I wanna know what’s the name of the game?
(Your smile and the sound of your voice)
Does it mean anything to you?
(Got a feeling you give me no choice)
But it means a lot, what’s the name of the game?
(Your smile and the sound of your voice)
Can you feel it the way I do?
Tell me please ’cause I have to know
I’m a bashful child, beginning to grow
And you make me talk and you make me feel
And you make me show what I’m trying to conceal
If I trust in you would you let me down?
Would you laugh at me if I said I care for you?
Could you feel the same way too?
I wanna know, oh yes I wanna know
The name of the game
(I was an impossible case)
Does it mean anything to you?
(But I think I can see in your face that it means a lot)
What’s the name of the game?
(Your smile and the sound of your voice)
Can you feel it the way I do?
(Got a feeling you give me no choice)
But it means a lot, what’s the name of the game?
(I was an impossible case)
Does it mean anything to you?
(But I think I can see in your face that it means a lot)
What’s the name of the game?
(Your smile and the sound of your voice)
Can you feel it the way I do?

Ebola Gift

Don’t Panic!
You cannot catch Ebola riding the bus.
Don’t ride the bus if you have Ebola!
You can spread Ebola while riding the bus.

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