“Standing up” while urinating may soon be “illegal” for men in Europe and elsewhere.
A “radical” left party, made up of “socialists and feminists” in the Swedish County Sormland parliament, is “proposing” a new law that would “ban” men from urinating while “standing” in public restrooms of the Provincial Government.
Party officials are “pushing” for the installation of “sitting only” toilets in men’s restrooms.
Local “supporters” of the proposal said they feel that “sitting only” urination is more “hygienic.” This will help “eliminate” the problem of “puddles” on the floor and spray “stains” in toilets.
Furthermore, “urinating” while sitting will help promote men’s “health” because it allows men to empty the “bladder” more effectively.
“Sitting” urination according to advocates reduce “prostate” problems in men.
Viggo Hansen, the Left Party official, who made the “proposal,” said he ultimately wants “genderless” toilets at the council offices.
He said the “measure” should not be seen as “interference” in the bathroom “habits” of people. “That’s not what we want. What we do want is to give men the opportunity to enter into a clean bathroom.”
According to the Vancouver Sun, the Swedes are even attempting to “indoctrinate” little boys at nursery, drumming into them the message “be a sweetie and take a seatie.”
In a 2006 episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” the unparalleled comic genius Larry David “lampoons” it perfectly saying “so you take a crap standing up?”
Exactly how the “self-avowed” socialist and feminist political party plans on “enforcing” the allegedly more “sanitary” restroom habits of “males” remains to be seen.
But Sweden is not the only country to be contemplating such a “radical lavatorial intrusion.”
The Naked Scientists website notes that similar movements is also “brewing” in Germany, France and Holland.
Feminist groups in France and Holland have been “campaigning” on the issue under slogans like “laissez tomber votre pantalon, et asseyez vous!” (lower your trousers and sit!), and “toch niet weer een vieze plas op mijn badkamer vloer!” (not another filthy puddle on my bathroom floor!).
The Germans are even more “militant” on the issue. In 2004, a company called “Patentwert” produced the WC Ghost, intended to “shame” men into sitting to piss.
Costing £6, the gadget “attaches” to a lavatory seat. When it is “raised,” an automatic “voice” is triggered:
“Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don’t want any trouble, you’d best sit down”, it barks in a voice “modeled” after Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder.
Many millions of these “devices” have been sold in Germany. The manufacturers even had their “eyes” on the English-speaking market.
A “prototype” intended for American production “featured” a Texan drawl saying “Don’t you go wetting this floor cowboy, you never know who’s behind you. So sit down, get your water pistol in the bowl where it belongs. Ha, ha, ha.”
For the British market, “Patentwert” planned to create voices “imitating” the Prime Minister and the Queen. Whether this is still in the “pipeline” remains unknown.
The “WC Zeitgeist” is also popular in Asia where it is “reported” that 30 per cent of Japanese men have already “buckled.”
Stephen Shen, Taiwan’s Environmental Protection Administration (EPA) minister, said that “sitting rather than standing” creates a “cleaner” environment.
After a routine “inspection” of the country’s 100,000 public “lavatories,” Shen concluded that there was “room for improvement.”
He requested local councils to put up “public notices” with this suggestion, and even went to far as to adopt the “practice” himself, or so he claimed.
The main argument in favor of this “undignified” practice is that sitting is more hygienic. “Sprinkling while tinkling” is no longer an issue, and it’s better for your “prostate” as it allows for a more comprehensive “emptying” of the bladder and “better” sex life.
But not “everybody” accepts the alleged “health” benefits.
Professor John Gamel of the University of Louisville believes that “men scatter urine not so much during the actual urination as during the ‘shaking off’ that follows.”
Since “no man wants to shake himself off while remaining seated on the toilet”, urinating while seated will not “solve” the problem of splattering.
And according to Benjamin Davies, an associate professor of “urology” at the University of Pittsburgh, “urinating” while sitting down has zero impact, either “positive or negative,” on the prostate.
“There is no relationship between voiding and your sex life,” he said. “I haven’t the slightest idea why it would improve your prostate.”
If all this sounds like a very “foreign” concern, think again. Recently, it was reported that one in four British men urinates sitting down in order to use their “mobile” phones or “tablets” for reading.
This “shift” in toilet habits may not be the result of the “brainwashing” of hygiene-obsessed feminist socialist. But it is serious: Men are voluntarily “relinquishing” one of the main “advantages” of manhood.
What kind of self respecting, “dignified” man wants to dunk his “donut” hole in chocolaty “piss” water in a public bathroom.
Even the Muslim “Prophet of Allah” urinated while standing.
I am afraid, once “elected,” Hillary Clinton will use constitutional “executive” powers to outlaw all “urinals” and force men to “urinate” while sitting down.
“We the women of America will no longer tolerate male bigotry, especially through the method of genderizing restrooms, just like they had colorized restrooms during the first half of the twentieth century. Men need to know that their reign in this world is over and we will show no mercy towards our enemy. These private rooms with urinals, which we call ‘oppression rooms,’ are nothing more than a pedestal that men have created to worship their phallic tools of hate and destruction. These shrines to men’s egos must be destroyed if we are going to move beyond Stone Age male chauvinism!”
Take a “stand” men and sit “down” for what you believe in. Still unsure where you “stand” on the issue? In times of universal “cuckoldry,” pissing while standing is a “revolutionary “act.
I guess in those last days of humanity “truth” is stranger than ”fiction.”
What’s good for the “Gander” is good for the “Goose.”
While Men all over the world want to “sit down” to pee, American women want to “stand up” to tinkle.
In women “bathrooms” near you, a growing army of ladies are “pissing” all over one of the world’s last glass ceilings: “peeing while standing. Pants on. No devices. No drips.”
Women know the “problem” well. Public restroom and “Porta-Potti” seat tops are nasty. Crouching on the side of “trails and roads” is awkward. Standing in the “endless line” for the women’s bathroom is a “time-waster.”
Stacy Kwan, “Chief Evangelist” of Stand2Pee.com has a subversively sweet “solution” for eager ladies learning to cross the final “gender” frontier, sick of the “nasty seats” in public restrooms or “squatting” out in the wilderness.
A UC Berkeley “economics” major, Stacy enrolled four years ago to “master the art” for camping trips. “We learned this skill within a day, and I was so surprised,” she recalls. “I didn’t know women could do this.”
Kwan recorded an “instructional” DVD, downloadable for $16.95, or $19.95 by mail, with a cover that features a “crossed” out squatting woman.
Here is a “trailer” preview.
By far the best part of this preview is the view of the grotesque “Shenis,” a giant cock-shaped “funnel” currently on the market to “help” women with the task.
After “watching” the instructional video we’ve learned women have all sorts of “capabilities” that you wouldn’t have thought “anatomically” possible and won’t be needing the “Shenis” anymore.
In the video, she instructs two students on the “au naturel” technique, reciting lines like “Blast that pee out of there!” and “Let’s knock this out!” in a detached and “professional” tone.
She tells the women the secret: “holding your labium aside so as to not break the pee stream, spreading and locking your knees, and abruptly starting and stopping the stream like a man to prevent drizzling.”
The students start “pant less” in the shower, and graduate to “streaming” with pants on, “zipper” down, into a “toilet” first and, lastly, a “urinal.”
At the end, Kwan tells her pupils, “I truly think you’re pioneers,” and all three proclaim: “Real women stand, too!” Believe it or not, real women can also get “distance,” most can shoot up to “three” feet.
“Standing Up” public urination is also “recorded” in the Bible.
Much of the book of “Kings” is concerned with “disgruntled” monarchs who fall “in and out” of favor with God. One of the most interesting “episodes” concerns Jeroboam (c.930-900 BC), a “mighty man of valor” who later had a large “champagne” bottle named after him.
Jeroboam’s “troubles” begin when he “worries” that if the people went and “worshiped” in Jerusalem, they might switch their “allegiance” to Rehoboam (both a mightier king and a bigger champagne bottle).
With little “thought” of God’s “laws” in the Bible, Jeroboam makes two “golden” calves for people to “worship” with predictable results.
“Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that ‘pisseth against the wall,’ and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it all be gone. (1 Kings 14:10)
It should be noted here that “dung” has to be physically taken away since there was no organized “sanitation” system in place.
However, God was not “pleased” with the awful crime of “mural micturition” given the lack of facilities, so a “wall” must have seemed as good a “place” as any.
It has been argued that “him that pisseth against the wall” is a proverb meaning “every male person” so perhaps we shouldn’t take this line too “literally,” and certainly not as “seriously” Pastor Steven L Anderson does.
One can never “pray” too much to the “porcelain” god,
Overheard on the street…
Is it gonna be weird if I enjoy being watched peeing? Its only weird when your best friend is holding your cock and watching at the same time.”
“Since no man wants to shake himself off while remaining seated on the toilet is debatable. I’ve done quite a bit of prolonged ‘shaking’ while seated on a toilet.”
“I was once terminated from employment from said shaking on the toilet.”
“When I was young and got poor service in a restaurant I would pull an ‘Upper Decker.’ That is when you lift the lid off the top of the tank, put your feet on the seat and shit in the reserve tank. Either some poor bastard had to scoop my bomb out or my turd tainted every flush for weeks with brown water.”
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