Granny Escort

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 26, 2014 by andelino
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Grand Dame Sheila Vogel-Coupe.

As one of the oldest “practitioners” of the world’s oldest “profession,” 85-year-old Sheila Vogel-Coupe would have good reason to retire. But she’s “digging in her heels.”

“I don’t think I will ever stop,” Vogel-Coupe told outlets ahead of a British Channel 4 documentary, “My Granny the Escort,” about her and two other elderly hookers.

Vogel-Coupe, said to be Britain’s oldest “prostitute,” reportedly earns about $420 per hour and was “servicing” as many as 10 clients a day until she underwent “surgery” to have part of her “intestines” removed, notes British tabloid Metro.

Most great-grandmothers, having undergone surgery involving 33 cm of intestine being removed, might take it “easy” afterwards, perhaps “recovering” with a cup of tea in front of daytime TV nursing herself back to health in a rather less traditional way.

The mother of three, grandmother of 3 and great-grandmother of 2, only became a “prostitute” four years ago, at the ripe old age of 81.

She says she missed having “male” company since the death of her aeronautical engineer husband in 2004, and turned to “selling” her body as a “solution” to loneliness.

Knocking “boots for loot” has become a labor of love. Sheila explains her unusual late-life career choice: “The most important reason is because I love sex. Even thinking about it makes me feel better,” she says.

“Young men see something about me. It is a nice feeling. Often men call me up and they say please go on talking because you’re turning me on. I’m very sexy.”

During her recovery period Sheila says she’s had to turn down a string of men. She shows the camera one text that reads: “How’s my sexy young woman doing this week?” then boasts: “It’s from an accountant.”

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Sitting in her chair with a head of grey hair, a buttoned-up cardigan and a beaming smile.

As Britain’s reputed oldest “lady of the night”, Sheila Vogel-Coupe, grandmother of Katie Waissel, who shot to fame in 2010′s “X-Factor,” is sticking to her “sideline of pleasuring” male clients.

Sadly, if not surprisingly, Sheila’s career choice has created “rifts” in her family, so much so that she only remains on speaking terms with one of her three daughters and a grandson.

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Sheila Vogel-Coupe and Grandson Danny Lee.

At the time of the expose in 2010 Sheila described Katie’s reaction as “vicious and vile”. She screamed and shouted at me, saying “What are you doing to Mummy, what are you doing to the family?”

She thinks I “heaped” shame on them. But I told her, “I’m doing what I enjoy – just leave me to do what I want to do.” “I’m proud to be a prostitute. I love what I do. I love sex,” she said. She even has “extended” an invitation to X Factor supremo Cowell: “Simon’s welcome any time.”

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Sheila Vogel-Coupe, grandmother of Katie Waissel.

Katie’s sister Natalie Davis said in a statement: “We were completely shocked and devastated to hear the news that my grandmother has been conducting immoral activities, including prostitution and pornography.”

“We, as a family, disassociate ourselves wholly from these activities and from any future stories that arise from them.” In the aftermath, Sheila “admitted” to reporters that Katie’s mother Diana was “furious” with her actions.

Diana called me a “fucking whore” and her husband called me a “wrinkly saggy” old lady. “The family are very embarrassed about it and Diana is making a big thing out of it to try to get Katie publicity and sympathy.”

“You’d think I had committed a murder,” Sheila says of her family’s reaction to the expose, which she was tricked into by a reporter from newspaper “New of The World,” which has since been shut down.

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You’d be forgiven for thinking Sheila Vogel-Coupe was just like any other grandmother. But that is exactly what she is not.

They couldn’t believe it. I said, “What do you think I’ve done?” But everyone thinks about things differently I guess. “They wanted me to promise I would never do it again, but I told them to stuff it.”

Since then only her daughter Josie has forgiven her mother for revealing her shocking secret. “It is difficult,” admits Josie. “But if I told her not to do it, she’d still do it but wouldn’t tell me.” If she goes off to a hotel I make her ring me first and after since there are some nutcases around. “She’ll never stop because she wouldn’t be happy,” she adds.

Although she’s “lightened” her workload, she’s hoping to get back to “work” full time, and is proud that she’s still seeing “clients” only 8 weeks after her surgery.

Grand Dame Vogel-Coupe can be found as Cecilia Bird on the Mature Courtesans website, where her “age” is listed as 80, has been “happily” married twice and “outlived” both of her husband’s.

She has “bedded” men as young as 20 and even made “kinky” sex tapes, which she proudly plays on the Channel 4 documentary. “It makes me feel good that at the age I am, I’ve preserved my body so well and men love it. It’s lovely to still be sexy at my age. I mean, look at this,” announces Sheila.

So does she do it for the sexual thrills or the company? “I think it’s both,” Sheila admits. “It doesn’t begin and end with sex, there’s also companionship. I’ve been on my own for the last 8 or 9 years and I do get lonely. So I do like the companionship of a gentleman.”

“I really have no inhibitions,” she adds, and says she doesn’t feel guilty about seeing clients who are married. “Some of my clients have a fetish and want to call me mummy, auntie or grandma. I think it is a bit weird,” Sheila told The Sun back in 2010.

It seems to be the “in” thing. All the younger men “want” older women and I’m the oldest one at my agency, possibly the oldest in the country.

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It makes me feel proud that, at my age, I’ve preserved my body so well and men love it.

I asked one, “What do you want with an old lady like me?” He said, “Because you’re experienced, intelligent. Give me some intelligent conversation.”

Twice-married Sheila, who has also “appeared” in a porn film, is defiant. “I work as a prostitute because I love it,” she declared. “It gives me great satisfaction and keeps me young. I could go on for years yet. Why should I stop?”

“I think of myself as a refined lady giving a very special service men are not going to get anywhere else.” I’ve had a few celebrity clients but I would never say who they were. They worked in the music industry and TV and things.

“I like to make men happy and content. I have no inhibitions. I love people. I’m an outgoing personality who lives in the 21st century.”

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The Deadly Obama Virus

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2014 by andelino

The Deadly Obama Virus
By: Jeannie DeAngelis

Deadly Obama Virus 00

In the beginning of the 2009 “flu” season, Barack Obama declared the “H1N1″ swine flu a national emergency. By October of that year 1,000 people had already “died,” and according to the president there was the “threat of a pandemic.”

In order to “hasten” treatment and “convince” Americans to line up like “lemmings” for a flu shot, Obama gave former Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius a one-time “authorization” to bypass standard federal regulations to quickly “respond” to the outbreak.

The president repeatedly “warned” the public that a “pandemic” was approaching, and that the “numbers of people” getting sick were “escalating” quickly.

In his “plague-panic” declaration, the president wrote: “As a nation, we have prepared at all levels of government, and as individuals and communities, taking unprecedented steps to counter the emerging pandemic.”

Vaccine production “delays” compounded the problem and “enhanced” the drama. Finally, when the “injections” did become available to Washington DC school children, Sasha and Malia Obama, who were 8 and 11 at the time, were the “first” of the Obamas to be inoculated.

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Malia, left, and Sasha Obama received seasonal and H1N1 flu shots.

As “tension” mounted, the White House announced that Michelle and the president, like a “captain willing to go down with the ship,” decided to wait in line.

Publicly, Obama said, “I suspect that I may come fairly far down the line… We will stand in line like everybody else. And when folks say it’s our turn, that’s when we’ll get it.”

Supposedly, a “selfless” Obama wanted priority target groups — “people under 24, pregnant women, and those with underlying conditions” – to go first.

Probably closer to the “truth” was that, rather than “risk” his own health on a possible tainted vaccine, the president wanted “useless eaters, fertile women, and the chronically ill” to be the guinea pigs.

Speaking of “pigs,” according to the CDC, after the “swine flu scare” was over, in a country that typically sees 36,000 deaths from the flu annually, that year 12,000 Americans died of the swine flu.

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With the H1N1 scare and the “look-at-me” vaccine photo op far behind him, “waiting in line” wasn’t something Obama “wanted to do” when he stopped for lunch at Franklin Barbeque in Texas.

President Obama was so eager to get “nine pounds of brisket, four pounds of turkey, ribs and a pecan pie for a total of $422” he cut the line.

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Unlike the swine flu “emergency” of 2009, in 2014 the president seems to have more interest in barbeque than he does “concern” for the Border Patrol agent from Laredo, Texas who may have lifelong “complications” as a result of the bacterial “pneumonia” he contracted while processing the “swarms of sick illegal aliens” that Obama, who had plenty of time to eat “spare ribs and pecan pie,” had no time to visit.

Obama Sneeze Guard

Obama reaching over the sneeze guard to spread his germs.

According to Agent Jarrad Seely, vice president of National Border Patrol Council 2455, being so gravely ill is a “very traumatic experience for the agent and the agent’s family.”

According to Seely it’s still too early to tell if the father of small children, who was very healthy prior to “processing illegal immigrants,” will fully “recover or ever be able” to work again.

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Diseased illegal’s give border patrol agents bacterial pneumonia.

Hector Garza, the secretary and treasurer of NBPC 2455, issued a “dire” warning when he said, “Our agents have been getting sick more often than before with flu’s and congestion and a whole bunch of respiratory illnesses.”

As this young father’s “life and the life of his family” have been forever impacted by an “unnecessary set of circumstances” created by a president “refusing” to address a “lawless” situation, the question is this: “What happened to that guy who was so concerned about pandemics and preventing the healthcare industry from being unnecessarily overwhelmed with deathly ill people?”

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President Obama looks like the guy in the office who gave his “2 weeks notice.”

If the H1N1 virus “caused” the president such urgent “trepidation,” why then, with his implicit “approval,” are a whole host of much more “treacherous viruses streaming in unchecked at our southern border?”

Why would Obama consider H1N1 a “national emergency” and then just five years later “wave” through the yellow “quarantine tape” scores of untreated “illegal’s” into the midst of a population with almost “no exposure” to diseases like scabies, MDR-TB, whooping cough, Changas disease, MRSA staph infections, and Ebola fever?”

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To lend “context” to a possible answer, in 2010, while looking for “drug” traffickers to rob of marijuana, Mexican citizen Manuel Osorio-Arellanes “murdered” Border Agent Brian Terry with a “gun” obtained from Obama’s failed “Fast and Furious” gun-tracking operation.

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Terry’s “needless” death, as well as the “subsequent” death of ICE agent Jaime Zapata and hundreds of Mexicans also killed with “Fast and Furious” guns, have all confirmed that if “fatalities” further Obama’s agenda, the “body count” is of no concern.

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Since taking office this president’s “actions and inactions” have confirmed “over and over” that the mission of “progressivism” far outweighs a few thousand – or a few million – “American lives.”

That’s because, in the “liberal” mind, “illegal immigrants with bad intentions and deadly communicable diseases” are not a “threat,” they’re just “facilitators” of an agenda belonging to the man who “insisted” every American had to have a “flu shot.”

For some reason, Barack Obama’s need in 2009 to “enforce” federal oversight by attempting to “inject” Americans with a vaccine to “save” lives has given way in 2014 to a total “disregard for the health, safety and well being of all of us.”

Jeannie hosts a blog at www.jeannie-ology.com

A Plague on All Houses
The brutal Obama policy that’s really driving the Border Crisis
President Obama looks like the guy in the office who gave his “2 weeks notice”

Minimum Wage Increases

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , on July 24, 2014 by andelino

The left-leaning tech blog Pando seems to be “angry” about a lot of aspects of “reality.”

Walking home from Pando’s office a few nights ago, David Carr Paul, editorial director of Pando, noticed this giant billboard…

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Its message, that minimum wage increases will lead to service workers being “replaced” by apps, is continued on an accompanying website BadIdeaCA which claims to be “holding activists accountable for minimum wage consequences.”

The billboard just “educates” people about reality. If you “raise” the cost of labor, then it becomes economical to “replace” labor with automation, in this case “touch screens,” which are declining in cost, as labor prices itself out of the market through “high minimum wages.”

Seems pretty basic. But Carr goes a little nuts, throwing around words like “screwing and impugning” a person linked to the billboard.

“It’s somehow grossly fitting that a group which argues for screwing service staff, and which is advised by a guy who tells companies like Apple that it’s ok to screw their workers, is now posting ads in San Francisco saying that service staff deserve to be replaced by iPads if they demand a fair wage.”

In March 2013, San Jose’s “minimum wage” increased by 25% to $10.00 per hour, as the result of a 2012 “union-backed” ballot initiative.

EPI surveyed the city’s restaurant industry during a one-month period at the end of 2013.

Employer responses to the $10 minimum wage

66% Raised Prices
45% Reduced Employee Hours
42% Reduced Staff

Survey results represent 163 San Jose restaurants.

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For more information on the impact of “minimum wage increases” check out these other EPI projects.

Minimum Wage
Tipped Wage

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Reality “always” illustrates a “sobering” fact.

A Minimum Wage Wake-Up Call for California
Raising San Francisco’s Minimum Wage Could Costs Thousands Of Jobs

Kim & Barry

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , on July 23, 2014 by andelino

HaircutJong Un and obama

North Korea has “asked” China to stop the spread of a video clip lampooning leader Kim Jong-un.

According to a source in China the North feels the clip, which shows Kim dancing and Kung-Fu fighting, “seriously compromises Kim’s dignity and authority.”

Beijing was unable to oblige.

Jong-un, Obama, Bin Laden, Putin, and a host of “luminaries” appear in this music video. The talented comrades “bust” a few outrageous moves and demonstrate a “spirit” of cooperation and sense of “joy” so lacking in world leaders these days.

The viral video is a Chinese-language techno track that features various “dance and fight” scenes in which Kim’s head has been “magicked” on the body of a participant.

In one scene, the eternally smiling Kim is “knocked out” by President Barack Obama, while in another he has a “bucket” upturned on his head and is “pushed” into a swimming pool.

In a third he “dances” through a field “hand in hand” with Osama Bin Laden.

The clip was made by a Chinese man surnamed “Zhang” from Suzhou who reportedly “studied” at Kyonggi University in South Korea.

Meanwhile, the North has “written” to the White House to “protest” against Hollywood comedy “The Interview,” which is about an “assassination” attempt on Kim.

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In the letter, the North’s “National Defense Commission” says the caper is an “insult” to its supreme leader, Voice of America reported.

Smelling Farts

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2014 by andelino

Smelling Farts 01

The next time someone at your office lets out a “silent but deadly” emission sound, maybe you should thank them.

A new study at the University of Exeter in England suggests that exposure to “hydrogen sulfide” — a.k.a. what your body produces as “bacteria” breaks down food, causing “gas” — could prevent “mitochondria” damage.

Yep, the implication is what you’re thinking: “People are taking the research to mean that smelling farts could prevent disease and even cancer.”

The study, published in the “Medicinal Chemistry Communications” journal, found that hydrogen sulfide gas in rotten eggs and “flatulence” could be a key factor in treating diseases.

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“Although hydrogen sulfide gas is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases,” Dr. Mark Wood, a professor at the University of Exeter, said in a statement.

While “hydrogen sulfide gas” is harmful in large doses, the study suggests that “a whiff here and there has the power to reduce risks of cancer, strokes, heart attacks, arthritis, and dementia by preserving mitochondria,” Time reports.

Dr. Matt Whiteman, a University of Exeter professor who worked on the study, said in a statement that researchers are even replicating the “natural gas” in a new compound, AP39, to reap its health benefits.

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The scientists are delivering “very small amounts” of AP39 directly into mitochondrial cells to repair damage, which “could hold the key to future therapies,” the university’s statement reveals.

You’ll have to decide for yourself, though, whether exposure to “hydrogen sulfide” in flatulence is worth the potential health benefits.

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If you think your job stinks, just remember; things could be worse — At least “professional fart-smeller” is not printed on your business cards.Smelling Farts 02

While the thought of some poor schmuck sniffing other people’s “butt biscuits” for a living seems absurd, there are actually a number of alternative “medical practices” in China which argue that the source of a person’s “ailments” can be immediately diagnosed by examining the “odor” of their flatulence.

According to Chinese medicine experts, a well trained “fart-smeller” can detect illnesses based on whether farts smell “bitter, savory, sweet, fishy or even meaty” – all of which indicate various problems.

Doctors who study traditional medicine say that the idea of a “fart” diagnosis is not as crazy as it sounds. Previous studies indicate that dogs have the ability to discover diseases like “prostate and colorectal cancer” simply by taking a big whiff of a patient’s “urine and stool.”

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Incidentally, professional “fart-smellers” do not earn a bad living ($50,000 a year), but it takes a lot more than a “twisted” disposition and a keen “sense of smell” to land a job in the field.

Potential candidates must be “non-smokers”, between the ages of 18 and 45, have no “nasal” defects and no “dependency” on alcohol. Most importantly, though: “those with shaky gag reflexes need not apply.”

I am certainly not going to be “applying” for this position anytime in the near future; while the thought of breathing in “funky, human gas fumes” all day makes me cringe, the thought of “sobriety” is downright spooky.

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First Lady Michelle Obama on the other hand, is a “connoisseur” and told the other day the “harrowing” story of a soldier caught in a “fire fart” during his “wartime” experience.

“There’s this soldier that we met just a month ago,” Michelle told the crowd at a Los Angeles event addressing the “plight” of homeless veterans, “who was caught in a fire fart–fight in Afghanistan.”

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“Fire Fart” Ingredients:
3 Chili Dogs
1 Six-pack of Beer
1 Bic Lighter.
Eat the weenies, drink the beer, ignite the lighter, place it up to your ass and make sure the cat is out of sight. WARNING: Do not try this while in your underwear.

How About an Exciting Career as a Professional Fart Smeller?
All About Farts

Booby Trap

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , on July 21, 2014 by andelino

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Nearly two years ago, the gruesome “gang rape and murder” of a young woman on a bus in New Delhi left many Indians “shocked” and saddened. Tens of thousands took to the streets of the capital, urging the government to act.

Eventually, lawmakers passed stringent new “anti-rape” legislation. But for some “concerned” citizens like Manisha Mohan, “changing” the law wasn’t enough.

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Manisha Mohan and her fellow students came up with the idea for the rape-repellent bra after the Delhi gang rape in 2012.

The 22-year-old engineering student wanted to give women a way to “defend” themselves against attackers, something that went beyond “mace, pepper spray or mixed martial arts.”

So over the past year, Mohan and two of her fellow students developed a “rape-repellent bra that can shock and burn attackers.”

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Mohan, right, and her partners receive an award for their invention in New Delhi.

It’s called “Society Harnessing Equipment” (SHE) and here’s how it works: “The bra contains a pressure sensor connected to an electric circuit that generates a shock of 3,800 kilo volts, which is severe enough to stun an attacker and severely burn his hand.”

“It won’t be enough to immobilize the assailant or potential rapist,” Mohan says, “but that gives enough time for back up.”

The moment its “pressure” sensors are activated, the bra’s built-in GPS “alerts” the police and also the victim’s parents to the “location” where the attack is taking place.

False “alarms” are possible, but Mohan says the bras are “designed and calibrated” to prevent this.

The force of a “hug,” for instance, won’t create a “shock,” and there’s an “on and off” switch that a woman can use when she’s traveling through a “dangerous” neighborhood.

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Not only does the bra send an electric shock, but it also alerts the police via GPS.

Those who have “worn” the bra say it’s comfortable. “It is light like any other bra, and one really cannot tell a difference,” says a young woman, who asked not to be named.

Mohan is still fine-tuning the “sensors,” so she hasn’t decided when she’ll start “shipping” the bras to stores or “how much” they’ll cost.

But the timing seems right. Reports of “crimes” against women in India, such as “rape, murder and kidnapping,” increased by 26 percent last year compared with the previous one.

A bra, of course, may not actually “drive down” the number of attacks against women; many attacks occur in India’s “rural” hinterland, where few are likely to “be able to afford it.”

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But in a country that has a “dubious” record of ensuring women’s safety, Mohan and others think the “device” can help.

“My dream,” Mohan says, “is to see women walk free anywhere and anytime.”

Legal Researchers in India are still “debating” the humanity of using the “booby-trap.”

 

Melon Stabbers

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , on July 20, 2014 by andelino

Melon Murderers 00

A man was accused of stabbing a watermelon with a butcher knife and leaving it in the kitchen for a woman to see, in what police describe as a “passive aggressive” swipe that landed him in custody.

The women was unnerved by what she perceived to be a “menacing gesture” directed at her and reported it to police.

Melon Murderers 03Carmine Cervellino, 49, was arraigned in Bantam Superior Court on charges of second-degree “threatening” and disorderly conduct.

He was released after posting a $500 bond and had his case referred to Family Services.

The woman said she felt Cervellino was resorting to “passive aggressive” tactics to “intimidate her because he is angry at her,” Officer Keith Koval wrote in a report.

Initially, the woman came to police headquarters the morning of July 4 to report finding a plastic bag of marijuana and a pill container — with her name — which had “Percocet” and an unidentified “blue” pill inside.

It was hidden in Cervellino’s tool box, she told police.

She “snatched” them up, took “pictures” with a cell phone camera and “stowed” them away in her room. Later, when the woman returned home, she found the “drugs” missing, she claims, but she showed police the photos.

Cervellino is not facing any drug charges.

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The woman returned a “second” time and was greeted by the “sight” of a watermelon, “pierced” by Cervellino’s large butcher knife, sitting on the “kitchen” counter top, police said.

Cervellino walked in seconds later, and without saying anything, began “slicing” pieces of the watermelon. The woman “snapped” a picture of the knife and turned it over to police.

In the USA, we do not “stab” melons. Violence against “melon” kind is frowned upon. You will get arrested.

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The White House is on top of it.

President Obama immediately issued an “executive order” asking everyone to join him in the campaign for “Melon Murdering Awareness” and offering people who are “afraid or threatened” to bring their melons to the White House where they will be safely “stored in the basement” away from the melon stabbers.

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