Executive Executions

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie

An article in The Daily Mail outlines a “tale” of horror.

In an act of “savagery” usually relegated to “scary” B science fiction movies, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie “attacks and murders” a helpless spider as “terrified” 4th graders look on in horror.

In a video titled, “Governor Christie Saves School Children From Spider,” his fearless “spider-swatting skills” are witnessed to “cheers” from his daughter, Bridget’s “classmates” after it caused a “commotion” on his desk.

Governor Christie’s office tried to “distance” the often admired “porky” politician by quickly issuing a video denying any “malice or hateful” intent.

He tells the children, after delivering a “quick slap” by his palm, that it’s just one of the many “perks” of being governor.

“Any bugs on your desk…you’re allowed to kill them and not get in trouble,” the short 26 second video asserted, contending the governor’s actions were “defensive” in nature.

One “wild-eyed” youngster stood beside Christie “encouraging” him to escalate his “violent assault” on the helpless arachnid screaming: “Kill it! Kill it! Staple it to the floor!”

The child was later taken into “custody” by authorities and held “overnight” for observation.

Though Christie“resisted” the urging from the boy to “staple it,” or perhaps humanely “euthanized” the arachnid, PETA reacted less than thrilled and labeled it an “executive insect execution.”

The monster spider’s “lost” life wasn’t the first time an act of “animal cruelty” was committed by a “sitting” executive politician.

In 2009 PETA was in an “uproar” after witnessing a similar “event” that, at the time, they labeled an “executive insect execution.”

On that occasion our “Commander-in-Chief,” President Barack Obama, was forced to “terminate” the life of an “errant” fly who had crossed through the “defensive” ring of Secret Service agents.

Threatening his “safety” Obama quickly and merciless “swatted” the intruder “death” during a televised interview.

Couldn’t these politicians just offering “life” without the “possibility of parole” to these harmless and defenseless creatures?

These “executive insect executions” are harsh and appear to “happen” more frequently “expanding” American “killing fields” from abortion to animals.

The end result of this kind of thinking has already been seen in the death camps of the Nazis, the Gulags of the Communists, the Killing Fields of Cambodia, the Cultural Revolution in China and in abortion mills throughout the world.

Ouch!!!

Krystle Harrison, 19, and Jeffrey Wilkinson, 24, were in bed “late” night in their Bradenton, Florida home when Harrison “wanted to have sex.”

In a bid to entice Wilkinson, Harrison “began to touch him.”

But Wilkinson told her “several times that he did not want to partake.”

When her “amorous” advances were repeatedly “rejected” by her live-in boyfriend, Krystle Harrison allegedly “bit his penis” in retaliation for his “refusal” to have sex.

Wilkinson told an investigator that after “turning” away Harrison, she grabbed him and “bit his penis.”

He then “pushed” her away and left the home, which the couple “shares” with their infant son.

Krystle Harrison

The dispute continued “outside” the residence, where Harrison allegedly “slapped” her beau in the face and “then spit in his facial area.”

Wilkinson also “received minor scratches to his upper chest” during the “tangle” with Harrison, whom he has “dated” for three years.

Krystle was arrested facing a “battery” rap for bedroom attack.

Wilkinson told a deputy that he “did not” want to press charges and refused to “complete” a sworn affidavit about the confrontation.

He also “declined” medical treatment for his “bitten” penis.

Obviously for her to have that “easy” access to his penis he must have been “naked.”

It looks like another “Lorena Bobbitt” in the making.

A just “punishment” would have been to “take” the teeth out!

Time for a “tetanus” shot.Maybe throw in a “rabies” vaccination too.

I have heard this “bite my penis” scenario now a few times.

That’s why men should start “dating” older woman who’s teeth are “removable” to avoid “injury” to their junk!

How many times do we gotta tell you, ladies? “NO TEETH!”

I guess “No” does not always mean “No”.

Great story with some “bite” to it.

Horny Hotshots

Hotshot Condoms

Middle-school California “kids” can now be as “sexually profligate” as they want to be and your parents “don’t” even have to “know” about it!

The California “Condom Access Project,” run by the California Health Council, which is making “condoms” available for kids as “young” as 12 in an online, “taxpayer-funded” condom delivery service, has “expanded” their service to include San Diego and Fresno counties.

But it gets “better” if you keep these “secrets” from your parents.

If you visit this website, as many as 10 “free” condoms can be delivered in “confidential” packaging, along with “lubricants” and “educational” materials.

And in California, teens don’t need “parental” consent to buy “contraceptives.”

Among 15-19 year-olds, San Diego County ranks second in “Chlamydia” cases in California, and ranks sixth in “gonorrhea” cases.

The state is “rampant” with STD’s; “syphilis” cases zoomed 18% from 2010 to 2011, “Chlamydia” rose 5% and “gonorrhea” rose 1.5%.

Syphilis

Chlamydia

Gonorrhea

The news of the “expanded” program follows the “announcement” by the FDA of their “approval” of sale of the “morning-after pill” to girls as young as 15.

Amy Moy, vice president of public affairs of the California Family Health Council said, “It’s really important that we all share with youth in our lives that abstinence is the most effective way to avoid sexually transmitted infection and unintended pregnancy.

But we know that teens are engaging in sexual activity, and we just want to help them be as safe as possible and not keep our heads in the sand and pretend there isn’t a problem.”

I can imagine the “baby-talk” instructions that come with “these” condoms.

Just dial “888-HOOKUPS” for discreet “home” deliveries.

Free “instruction” with details about how to “protect” your little “pecker” from “sexually transmitted diseases” from infected partners.

Also included are “Boogie Night” discount coupons with every order.

How about “instead” of Internet deliveries, why not “state-mandated” distribution kind of like the “Good Humor Man” of the 21st Century?

Simply re-equip all those antiquated “ice cream” trucks that regulatory hurdles put out of business with “mind numbing” repetitive “condom bell” music to roam the neighborhoods, advertising its “services” with a rather straight forward, up standing, out in the open non-subliminal graphic message…” It’s for our collective children”.

Better yet, why don’t we hand out a complimentary “ObamaCare” Pleasure Pack to each “new born” child at the time of birth in the “hope” that he or she will be “growing” up as a future “voter” and remember Obama every time they “climb” into bed with their partner.

Free Condoms is a basic right

Rape Hoax

Rape you, nah, think I’ll pass

Meg Lanker-Simons is a “beastly” female buffalo who’s an award-winning blogger for the Orwellian “zombie-robot” George Soros funded website “Think Progress.”

She is also reportedly “chums” with “terrorist” bomber Bill “The Man Who Launched Barack Obama’s Political Career” Ayers.

In what we can only “assume” is an XXXL size, Meg wears “Take Back the Night” T-shirts and talks a lot about this “rape culture” in which we “supposedly” live.

Problem is, apparently “no one” wanted to “rape” her. Or at least “not” so much that they “actually” did.

In fact, her presumed “would-be rapey” suitors, whom we know are “swinging” like monkeys from every tree in this “vast and evil patriarchy,” ignored her to the “point” where she “fabricated” a character who sexually “stalked” her.

Even though she’s “nearly” 30 and should really “have” a job by now, Meg attends college as a “career” student since 2009 out on the windswept plains of Wyoming, a state famous for an “anti-gay” murder that may not have been an anti-gay hate crime at all.

There’s a Facebook page called “UW Crushes” where this “sinister, malevolent, evil” post was made on April 24:

Meg commented under the post, saying “I’m left to wonder if there’s someone out there with a violent fantasy about me…”

She wishes! What a “vulgar,” fat toad. Who would “want” to rape her? This whole “faked rape threat” is simply her fantasy “sex life” run amok.

She must “realize” by now that “rape” is the closest her “obese” monstrosity will ever “come” to wholesome “normal” sex relations.

A “predictable” rally in support of Meg “ensued,” and she likely basked like a “whale shark” in the attention “until” police issued a warrant for her arrest after “concluding” she’d written the “threatening” post “herself” on her computer.

I guess the “cops” just took “one” look at her and knew she was “lying” about a “dude” saying he would “have” sex with her.

Defenders of the “idiotic” notion that we live in a “rape culture,” i.e. a culture that sends out “pro-rape” messages on any level whatsoever, will “scoff” and say this is an “isolated” incident.

And they have a “point,” seeing as it’s not as if this “sort of thing” happens again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again or anytime.

If you can’t “beat ‘em, frame ‘em.” That in a “nutshell” would appear to be the “motivation” behind Meg’s “false” claim that she had been “threatened” with a “hate crime” via social media.

University police say that Lanker-Simons “admitted” to authoring an “anonymous” threat of “sexual violence” targeted at her on her Facebook last week and was “charged” with “interfering” in a police investigation, which is a “misdemeanor.”

One of her “defenders,” Pamela Kandt told the Laramie Boomerang that the police “charge” against Lanker-Simons is a “classic case of blaming the victim,” quipping “This is the worst episode of ‘Law & Order’ you can imagine.”

Katherine Timpf of Campus Reform reported that Lanker-Simons “is a member of the University of Wyoming Gender & Women’s Studies group as well as the school’s chapter of The Nonviolent Communist.”

Chad Baldwin

“This episode has sparked an important discussion reaffirming that the UW community has no tolerance for sexual violence or violence of any type,” university spokesman Chad Baldwin said in a statement.

“The fact that the Facebook post apparently was a fabrication does not change the necessity for continued vigilance in reassuring that we have a campus where everyone feels safe. It’s important that this event does not undermine the progress that has been made in this area.”

According to “media” reports “fat pig” Meg has been in “similar” situations in the past.

As an “outspoken” activist on the UW campus in 2009, she helped lead “protests” against former Vice President Dick Cheney’s “appearance” at the university.

In 2010, she went to “federal court” in an attempt to “force” university officials to “permit” former Weather Underground “terrorist leader” Bill Ayers to speak at UW.

Terrorist Bill Ayers at UW Campus

“Look at Bill Ayers — he made something of himself,” Lanker said in a newspaper interview at the time.

In March of 2011 she reported receiving a “death threat” via email just before “syndicated” columnist Ann Coulter was to “visit” the University of Wyoming.

Ann Coulter at UW

The message, which she “emailed” to the Star-Tribune, read, “If I see her I will send her to Hell with one shot and you can bet I won’t miss.”

Pulling this ugly liberal troll “crap” for years I am glad it “blew” up in her face.

Ugly liberal troll Meg Lanker-Simons

In the “immortal” words of Peter Griffin it might be time to “Shut up Meg!”

Razor Sharp Focus

Here is a news story of “extraordinary skills” of a pubic sister with “razor sharp focus” keeping her “love rug” in pristine condition with “blade in hand” while driving down the road.

By now I’m sure that most of you have “heard” about the Florida woman who caused a two-vehicle wreck because she was “shaving” her bikini area “while” driving.

Guess that makes the “time” you drove with your “elbows” while eating a “Whopper” seem downright “virtuous,” doesn’t it?

Florida Highway Patrol troopers said the car 37-year-oldMegan Mariah Barnes was driving “crashed” into the back of a pickup truck at “about” 45 mph.

Her reaction time was “slowed” down because she was “too” busy grooming her “hoohah” to pay attention to the road.

Oh, like that’s “never” happened to you?

Ms. Barnes told the investigating officer that she was on her “way” to a date and “wanted to be ready for the visit.”

Yes, she wanted to “look” her best.

All “over.”

Except, well, we’ve seen Ms. Barnes’ “mug shot” and she appears to have a “face” that would stop a “clock” and raise “hell” with small watches.

Bless her heart.

To be “blunt,” I don’t think a “perfectly” groomed “love rug” could possibly make “that” much difference.

It could’ve been “worse,” I suppose.

Ms. Barnes could’ve been “waxing” her bikini area as she drove along in her T-bird on those “scenic” bridges.

Imagine the “horror” if she’d tossed the used “wax strips” out the window.

The “manatees” might have tried to “adopt” them.

I’ve driven on this “particular” stretch of highway between Miami and Key West and it’s “flat-out” beautiful with “crystal blue water, gorgeous mangroves and cloudless skies.”

Not once have I been so “bored” that I decided I’d rather drag a “sharp” blade over my “nether” regions just to have “something” to do.

There are so many “You might be a redneck if” elements to the story of Megan Barnes, but my favorite is that, while performing this “extremely” personal grooming “ritual,” she asked her “ex” husband to “steer” the car so she could “concentrate.”

“Help me out, Charles, I’m gonna make it look like a bejeweled LIGHTNING BOLT!”

What a “nice” guy this ex Charles Judy is!

Not only did he hold the “steering wheel” so she could concentrate on “primping” for her big date with “another man,” but when the cops arrived, he tried to “switch” places and “claim” he’d been driving.

Trouble was, he had “burns” on his face and chest from the “airbag” that had “deployed” on the passenger “side” only. Oops.

To no one’s “particular” surprise, the Highway Patrol quickly “discovered” that Ms. Barnes didn’t have a “valid” driver’s license.

Oh, and, the “day” before, she’d been “convicted” of DUI and driving with a “suspended” license.

Oh, and her “car” had been “seized” and had no “insurance or registration.”

Oh, and she was on “probation.”

Oh, and she’ a  “flipping” Lunatic!

Albeit an “impeccably” groomed one.

House of Cards

I must say the “House of Cards” is crumbling “before” our eyes.

The media is so “overly” invested in propping up the Obama administration that previous scandals like “Fast and Furious” have come and gone with very “little” accountability.

There is so much “innuendo, scandal and spin flying” around with the Benghazi debacle, the IRS admissions and the unprecedented “raid” on the Associated Press that they are collectively “impossible” to ignore.

Either somebody holds these lying “crooks” in the White House accountable or we will be far “worse” off than I thought we would be.

Hillary Clinton where she belongs, Bye Bye 2016

The opposition should be “rioting” in the streets right now.

Finally I got rid of her…

The lights are slowly dimming, it’s get darker and darker at the White Castle

Snake in the Bed

Snake in the Bed

Vice President Joe “Mensa” Biden added yet another “gaffe” to his growing list when he referred to a young girl’s “coming of age” as a “snake in the bed.”

Biden made the comments at a “fundraiser” for the Volunteer Lawyers Project, which is “co-chaired” by his daughter Kathleen.

Calling him “Pop,” she introduced the “veep” who peppered his speech with family stories and told the audience that his granddaughter “implores” him to stop referring to them as “his daughters” in public because “people will think something’s wrong.”

He then spoke of the wonders of having granddaughters: “All you women out there: Daughters are wonderful. Granddaughters are better” lamenting, though, that they “grow” up.

”When they’re 12 to 14, a dad puts his beautiful little daughter to bed. And then the next morning, there’s a snake in the bed.”

Joe “Mensa” Biden

“Snake in the bed?” Sounds like “Mensa” Biden needs to “register” as a sex offender.

Dreaming of Snakes on your Bed

Biden then “talked” about his work in Congress on the “Violence Against Women Act” when he drew “parallels” with the movie “Deliverance” while addressing the volunteer legal group that helps “domestic” violence survivors.

“After those guys tied that one guy to the tree and raped him, man-raped him in the film, why didn’t the guy go the sheriff?” Biden asked.

“They don’t want to get raped again by the system.”

Biden the “idiot” can’t even “reference” the movie correctly.

The guy “tied” to the tree (Jon Voight as Ed Gentry) “didn’t” get raped.

It was the guy taken to the “woods” (Ned Beatty as Bobby Trippe) who was the “actual” rape victim.

Next he followed this up with a normal “Bidenism” saying “By the way, there should be two senators from the state of D.C.,” to the hoots and hollers of the attendees.

Other than the “fact” that the District of Columbia is “not” a state, and with Obama having picked up 91.4 percent of the vote in the 2012 election, were it to “become” one, it would be represented “solely” by the Democratic party.

And to think this “Mensa” moron is a “heartbeat” away from the presidency scares me.

The incredible Biden gaffe-machine