Archive for whoppi goldberg

Hillary’s Sexual Lawsuit

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , on June 28, 2017 by andelino

In the wake of allegations of sexual harassment against top “income” producers at Fox News, Hillary Clinton entered the “fray,” joining the string of “opportunistic” women who shake down “super-wealthy” men for the “crime” of asking them for a “date.”

Standing with “sexual harassment” specialist Gloria Allred and a gaggle of “sobbing” women with “heaving” shoulders, a “visibly” upset Hillary pointed an “accusing” finger at the “mug shots” of Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly.

Attorney Allred “hugged” Hillary tightly to “comfort” her as the other “liberal” women wearing “pussy hats” joined in.

“They refused to have sex with me!” she cried out “wailing” uncontrollably, while “blaming” Fox News for “refusing” to run her “patriotic” swimsuit advertisement during the “election.”

“Every time I came near these two, I made sure to look good, wear lipstick, spike heels, my push up bra, studded leather collars, and negligees and thongs from Victoria’s Secret. As soon as they saw me coming, the two split in opposite directions and ran. In my heels I couldn’t catch up!”

Hyperventilating, “shaking” and unable to control her “emotions,” Hillary took several “moments” to compose herself, “tears” streaming down her face.


“I tripped and stumbled running after Bill O’Reilly. I even dropped my bottle of bourbon. It was embarrassing. Everyone in the newsroom was watching me making a fool of myself. They kept staring! It was awful. Even more embarrassing, some of the staff people tweeted and posted it on Facebook!”


Hillary turned to the cameras again: “I’ve never been more humiliated in my entire life. The trauma made me turn to drink again after a whole four hours of abstinence. I even started smoking those strange tasting wet cigars Bill gave me. Who will pay for my Detox this time around?”

Two “ACLU” lawyers and a attorney from the “Southern Poverty Law Center” took their turns at the microphones “announcing” that Madonna will join the “lawsuit” to express her outrage at this “deviant” sexual behavior while making again life threats against President Trump.

She is especially “outraged” at the men who “refused” her offer for free blowjobs if they “voted” for Hillary.

The lawyers “raged” at the “discriminatory, UN-Democratic, UN-American, unfair America’s constitution, unjust election results,” as well as against the “smart, wealthy and successful wife of the husband with orange hair and small hands.”

Gloria Allred “ended” the news conference saying “We promise to take Hillary’s case to the Supreme Court if necessary, along with her push up bra, matching pantsuit studded leather collars, leash, and patriotic thongs as evidence.”

“We will subpoena Donald Trump as the co-plaintiff in our lawsuit. He’s an accessory to widespread discrimination proven by his desire to grope supermodel pussies while neglecting Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg, both known for their inner sexual beauties.”

Reaffirming her “true” status as a victim, “Barker-in-Chief” Hillary revealed the “secret” to her “loss/theft” of the presidential election declaring “Russian meddling, FBI Director James Comey’s involvement, WikiLeaks theft of emails from her campaign chairman, and misogyny as primary excuse” out of her 35 other reasons.

The first “three” are all Republican “fake news.” Pure fiction. That last one, “misogyny,” I’m not sure how that “fits” but I’ll look it up after my women brings me a “beer and sammitch.”

Immigrant Slaves

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on March 20, 2017 by andelino

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben Carson was roundly “criticized” by celebrities like Samuel Jackson, Leslie Jones and Whoopi Goldberg after he referred to the “slaves” from Africa as “immigrants” with dreams and hopes for their children’s futures.

President Barack Obama used “similar” language to include African-Americans “descended” from slaves among the immigrants who “helped” shape America.

Here is Obama in 2015:

“Certainly, it wasn’t easy for those of African heritage who had not come here voluntarily and yet in their own way were immigrants themselves. There was discrimination and hardship and poverty. But, like you, they no doubt found inspiration in all those who had come before them. And they were able to muster faith that, here in America, they might build a better life and give their children something more.”

Here is Carson in 2017:

“That’s what America is about, a land of dreams and opportunity. There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-grandsons, great-granddaughters, might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.”

Whoopi Goldberg promptly “blasted” Ben Carson after he compared “slaves to immigrants.”

During “The View” the host asked how it was that the HUD secretary “missed” that slaves did not come to America “voluntarily.”

“Maybe we need to get him a history book,” Goldberg insinuated. “I mean were the slaves really thinking about the American dream? No, because they were trying to understand, ‘what the hell just happened?’”

“When people immigrate they come with the idea that they’re going someplace for a better life. That’s why people immigrate to America every day. It’s voluntary, but the slaves…we were not voluntary. We looked up and one minute we thought ‘hey what an amazing land.’ And the next thing we knew we were like ‘uh-huh, what just happened?’”

“How does he miss what slavery is,” Goldberg exclaimed. “How does he miss that no slave came to this country willingly? I’m sorry, Ben, watch ‘Roots.’”

Carson has since “clarified” his remarks on Facebook and said that the “slave narrative and immigrant narrative” are different experiences.

“I’m proud of the courage and perseverance of Black Americans and their incomprehensible struggle from slavery to freedom,” Carson wrote.

“I’m proud that our ancestors overcame the evil and repression that we know as slavery. The slave narrative and immigrant narrative are two entirely different experiences. Slaves were ripped from their families and their homes and forced against their will after being sold into slavery by slave traders. The Immigrants made the choice to come to America. They saw this country as a land of opportunity. In contrast, slaves were forced here against their will and lost all their opportunities.”

It is “safe” to say that Carson, the “renowned” neurosurgeon, professor and director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins, and 4 time best-selling “author,” fully understands the “nature and history” of slavery in America, and used the word “Immigrants” by choice, to illuminate the fact, that “despite” slavery, African Americans are a part of this “Nation of Immigrants. “

He chose that word because it suggests “inclusion” not division, “self determination” and not victim hood. But If the Dems weren’t being arrogant, divisive, nitpicking “obstructionist” they’d have no purpose in life.

Boycott hateful, “racist” Samuel Jackson, Whoopi Goldberg and Leslie Jones who “built” their Tinseltown careers being the “go to” for angry “black man” with the “foulest” mouth on earth.

Carson is a “great” example of how a person, despite “obstacles,” with initiative, drive and focus, can become anything they “desire” in this great country.

The opportunities for “success” are there for anyone to take “advantage” of, even someone who grew up in “poverty” in Detroit. Since Carson does not see “himself” as a victim, and never plays the “victim” card, the Dems “reject” him.

They don’t like success “stories” from Black conservatives that “started” with nothing. I think his “compassion, intelligence and personal history” will lead him to great “success” in his new position.

Liberal “tolerance” stops at the “democratic” party door. If you are outside of their “orthodoxy” then liberals have “free” reign to show their “racist, sexist, anti-Semite, xenophobic” self. It is in their “nature.”

They are filled with “hatred” for those that do not “believe” as they do, kind of like “Muslims” thinking everyone else is an “infidel.” Democrats need suppressed “victims.”

The “Libtard” does nothing to help the“victim except show up every four years to “remind” them of their “victim hood” in an attempt to maintain their “votes.”

It is “joyful” to see some “blacks” like Carson, Thomas, Rice, etc., who have had the “courage, capacity and desire” to leave the democratic “plantation” of hatred.

In time their “examples” will hopefully make a “difference” throughout their community but perhaps not in my “lifetime,” sigh.

Just more hypocritical “garbage” from clueless celebrities and political organizations who are more interested in “partisan” jabs then working to “create” solutions.

Leslie Jones Wants to Fight “Fuckface”’ Ben Carson

Sister Act III

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2017 by andelino
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“What do you mean my wife would make a cute nun?”

The latest rumor “swirling” around Washington D.C. concerns the “soon-to-be-ex” First Lady of the United States having made “application” to join a convent.

Bitterly “disappointed” that Donald Trump was elected president, a “mad-at-the-world” Michelle Obama has been contacting “monasteries” in the United States seeking to “retire” to a life of “hopelessness, prayer and repentance.”

Barack Obama, Michelle Obama

Choosing  the road to “monasticism,” Michelle will follow the “footsteps” of the saints who “walked the path” before her.

She will seek “spiritual” guidance and teachings to help her to “recognize” the deceits of the evil one, how to “overcome” them, and to forsake the “vanities” of the world in order to “dedicate” herself fully and wholeheartedly to God in “solitude and unceasing prayer.”

“For what profit is it to a women if she gains the whole world, but loses her own soul? Matthew 16:26

In the “stillness” of the Monastery, Michelle’s life will be one of “discover.”

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No longer surrounded by a plethora of “distraction” she will able to truly get “acquainted” with herself, to uncover her “sinful” nature and come to the wonderful “realization” that her strength after “all these years” is only found in Christ and “not” Barack.

Saint Isaac said, “a person who has attained the knowledge of his own weakness, has reached the summit of humility and broke through the constraining walls of their ego has climbed great spiritual heights to live out a blessed life of repentance and asceticism.”

“If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have, give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven; come follow Me.” Matthew 19:21

A day in the “life of a nun”

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Monastic nuns “choose” to live a life of “prayer and contemplation.”

After a “novitiate” period, a nun joyfully takes the three vows of monasticism – “chastity, poverty, and obedience” – in order to better “dedicate” her life to God and “serve” Him only.

St. Paul said, “The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. 1 Corinthians 7: 34

Out of her great “love” for God, a nun’s typical day begins while most “people in the world” are still asleep. After Midnight “prayers” morning “praises” begin daily at 4AM and are followed directly by “Divine Liturgy.”

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On Wednesdays and Fridays, when “fasting and abstinence” are observed, nuns return to their “cells” after the raising of morning “incense” while the Diving Liturgy is “prayed” at noon.

All nuns have a “personal” prayer rule they must keep daily – “memorize the psalms which will protect them” and a duty they must “perform” which can include anything from “manual work to hosting guests.”

“If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat” 2 Thessalonians 3:10.

Daily at 5PM, the nuns “meet” once again in the church to “communally” pray the psalms from the “Book of Good News” (Bible).

Between “work and communal” prayer time, a nun spends time “alone” in her cell in “prayer and meditation.”

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This “beautiful” life is likened to that of “angels” on earth. Just as the heavenly angels unceasingly “praise and worship” God, so do the nuns “standing” before God in “praise and worship” in their daily “blessed” lives.

Angels are a “light” for nuns, and the “monastic” life is a “light” for them.

“To pray for the Church. To keep their life holy as an example for others. To live such a quiet life in order to have a quiet heart and mind. Happy are those who follow this road and avoid other highways. Theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

A anonymous “insider” was able to obtain a copy of the “application response” Michelle received from a “convent” in California.

Dear Mrs. Obama,

Let me start by saying how honored we all feel that you have chosen our humble monastery for possible relocation as you transition into your new life. This is certainly the first time that a major contemporary figure such as yourself has expressed interest in joining our sisters to dedicate her heart and soul to serving the Lord and the less fortunate in our society.

After careful consideration and several days of intense prayer in search of divine guidance it has been decided that we are able to offer you a position as one of our sisters. Please accept our profound congratulations and allow me to explain on which conditions we are able to grant your request.

1. It would not be long before word reached the outside world that you had joined us, leading to notoriety at a level that we are not equipped to handle. Though we welcome visitors as part of our mission, TV cameras parked nearby for days on end to watch your every move would seriously disrupt our daily routines and cannot be allowed.

2. Your request that a security detail be allowed access to our grounds is puzzling in the extreme. Surely, you must realize that the protection of our “Lord and Savior” is quite sufficient to make sure that sisters are safe from harm. We cannot grant this request but be assured your life will be in the hands of our all powerful, omnipotent, supreme most high.

3. In addition to private prayer and the daily cycle of services, sisters are expected to perform duties such as cooking and cleaning. We hope that as someone who has lived in the White House for eight years and is used to servants waiting hand and foot, carrying out these tasks that you probably never did even as a young girl, will not be of inconvenience to you.

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4. Your green dress is not acceptable since all sisters wear black and heads must be covered at all times. Fancy wardrobes and shoes, visits to the hairdresser, and grooming services considered normal on the outside are not allowed here. As a sister, you would have no need to be concerned about your appearance. We hope that you can accept these conditions.

 

5. We have reviewed your attached fitness video but unfortunately we cannot offer you this exercise program here as it would interfere with your daily work, hostess duties, communal prayer time and private meditation. We can, however, assure you there is no need to worry about obesity as our daily lean cuisine intake will keep you slim and trim.

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6. A vow of poverty is expected, meaning that you would need to declare all your assets and donate their value either to our convent or to other needy organizations of our choosing. Once inside our walls, we will see to it that your earthly as well as spiritual needs are looked after.

We hope you prayerfully can accept above conditions and look forward with great anticipation of your earliest arrival.

In the meantime, please feel free to contact us again if you have additional questions.

Respectfully,

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Mother Superior Whoopi

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