Father’s Must Be Watchmen

Father’s Must Be Watchmen: Life is a Battleground Not a Playground
by Shane Idleman

Our ministry often receives email correspondence from desperate wives and mothers. They often read something like this, “I’m at a loss. My ‘Christian’ husband is verbally and physically abusive. Ironically, he thinks that I’m the problem; he sees no need to change. He’ll quote Scriptures about submission while yelling and cursing. His anger is also destroying our children. A home once filled with laughter and joy is now filled with fear and depression. We walk on eggshells and cherish the times when he is gone. He also loves his porn more than his family. I can no longer bear it. I’m not dying inside; I have died.”

We are in desperate need of genuine leadership—broken, humble men—men who are not afraid to admit that they need God; men who are more worried about prayer than about status and recognition; men who petition God rather than position themselves. The state of the family today is disheartening. Men have largely forsaken their God-given role as spiritual leaders in their homes…that, no one can deny.  For example:

• Bible reading and prayer are called fanatical while working twelve hours a day is called success.
• We build our career and neglect our marriage.
• Corporate executives are praised and family men frowned upon.
• We’ve increased our wealth but decreased our values.
• We search the heavens for answers and turn from the One who created them.
• Pride is considered an asset and humility a liability.
• We know more about our favorite athletes than our wives and our children.
• We’d rather be seen leaving a bar than leaving a church.
• We praise our favorite team yet fall asleep in church.

Men, you’re not called to be a passive, weak, indecisive partner—you’re called to protect, lead, and guard your family. You are to initiate prayer, defend your wife, shepherd your children, and make your home a holy sanctuary not a breeding ground for Satan. You’re called to fight the enemy, not flee from him.

I’m tired of weak, passive men who never contend, stand, or fight for anything worth dying for. Our nation is looking for character, our wives are looking for leaders, and our kids are looking for fathers.

Men, STOP the silly video games, get off of Facebook, kill your porn habit, tell your ungodly friends to hit the road. You’re called to lead, love, and die, if necessary, for your family. We are the reason that the nation is deteriorating. We are the reason the family is breaking down. We must stop blaming everything from God to the government; we are the stench in the nostrils of a righteous, holy, pure God. Dads…wake up! Life is a battleground, not a playground!

I can hear it now, “Shane, you’re being too hard on the guys. Back off.” Really? Step into my world for a moment. Recall the email that opened this article. Sadly, this is not an isolated situation; it’s happens all the time. After re-reading it, you tell me if this message is too strong.

Men who are hurting their families don’t need to be encouraged and coddled; they often need to be confronted and challenged. Then encouragement can take place. Change is difficult if we always encourage but rarely challenge, and coddle but not confront. Unless a man is lovingly confronted, repentance will not take place, and his family will ultimately pay the price.

How many of our wives could say similar things? Many years ago, I stumbled across a journal entry from my wife that broke my heart, but first I felt betrayed and angry. She wrote, “I married a man who doesn’t care about my dreams and goals in life. I’ve learned to live with this since separation isn’t an option, but I will not allow him to do this to our kids.”

I was very angry because the truth hurts. But I began to realize that she was absolutely correct. I was a controlling man with no regard for the dreams, ambitions, and goals of my family. Granted, I was not mean-spirited about their dreams, but I was controlling. I’m embarrassed that I use to think things like, “That’s stupid, immature, and ridiculous; why would you want to do that?” I felt terrible and asked for forgiveness. I realized that I was breaking the spirit of my family; controlling and manipulating because of pride, and how things would make me look.

That experience was a turning point. I now encourage my family versus discourage their dreams. I’m writing this, not to compare situations, but to illustrate the fact that God often uses confrontation and exposure to break us.

While dads jockey for position, build reputations, chase careers, and so on, it’s often mothers who pray, petition, nurture, care for, and lead. Granted, there are men who, through no fault of their own, experience failure in their home, but for the large majority, there is a critical need for spiritual leadership. Repentance is the first step. Knowledge is knowing that we need to repent, but wisdom is doing it. The power in the Word of God is found in the application. James 1:22 reminds us that we can deceive ourselves if we “know” what to do but fail to do it. Are you living in deception…knowing but not doing?

Men, our families would rather “see” a sermon than “hear” one: “The lectures that you give may be very wise and true, but I’d rather get my lesson by observing what you do. For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give, but there is no misunderstanding how you act and how you live” (Edgar A. Guest; I’d Rather See A Sermon).

President Trump & The Gospel

Does Supporting President Trump Hurt the Gospel?
by Shane Idleman

The divide in our nation among Christians seems to be fueled primarily by “misinformation and false narratives.” I believe that God is allowing these differences so we can practice Scripture and love those we disagree with, but some are taking it too far. Andy Stanley, for example, commented that leaders who align with Trump actually hurt the Church’s ability to reach people outside the Church.

I’m assuming that Andy’s thought process goes something like this: “When you support someone like Trump, you alienate people and turn them off to the gospel.” In order to gain insight into this point of view, I recently spent time with Christians who toke this position. Though I left that meeting with a better understanding of how people feel, I was more convinced than ever of the dangers of allowing our feelings to outweigh objective truth.

I wondered, “Would these same people use this argument in the late 1800s, suggesting that we shouldn’t support Lincoln because it could hurt our witness to slave owners?” Lincoln was different from President Trump, but the principle still applies: “We can’t make decisions based on the fear that something will offend; we must make decisions based on what is right.”

A simple study of church history reveals that pastors often spoke about political hot buttons. In early America, pastors would preach election day sermons. But recently we caved into political correctness because we are more concerned about nickels and noses . . . “pleasing men more than God.” Political correctness is also why many churches won’t open. It begs the question: “Are we watchmen or cowards?” 

BUT IS NOT OFFENDING OTHERS OUR GOAL? 

The view that says supporting the President hurts our witness is flawed in three ways:

1) When people who can support President Trump don’t, they, by default, support the opposing views. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

2) How can we protect the unborn, bring back God’s Word in many areas of society, and not legalize perversion if we are to remain neutral? We can’t.

3) The view that you can’t support Trump, attempts to scrutinize character rather than policy. Obviously, character is important, but, if a man, who has decent character according to some, is taking America in a very dangerous direction, do we look at his character over his policies? Of course not. Policy speaks louder than character (although ideally, they should match).

The President is hated, not because of his character, but because of what he stands for. He is a disruptive force. As I’ve said many times before: “If the abortion industry, George Soros, most of the media, lukewarm churches, ANTIFA, and Hollywood are on your side, are you sure that you’re on the right side?”

If we are consistent and take this line of thinking about hurting the gospel to its logical end, does that also mean we shouldn’t speak out against abortion because it may hurt our witness to physicians who perform them?

Or what about the parent who had an abortion—should we not mention any pro-life positions because it may offend them? No, it’s okay to speak the truth in love and then offer hope as I did here in “The Day I Told My Daughter about My Abortion Decision.” Offering hope elevates the gospel.

Should I stop talking about the perversion in Hollywood because it might offend an executive on Sunset Boulevard? Of course not. Sharing the good news—the gospel—doesn’t work if we remain silent and capitulate to political correctness.

If you’re walking on eggshells and gauging every word carefully so as not to offend, your speech will be spiritually impotent. We have too many cowards and too few Spirit-filled leaders. As Leonard Ravenhill said, “We have too many puppets in our pulpits and not enough prophets.” I couldn’t agree more.

WOULD “WOKE” CHRISTIANS REBUKE JESUS?

 Would many of these Christians tell Jesus not to call the religious leaders whitewashed tombs and vipers because it may hurt His witness to them (Matthew 23:23, 27)? Would they tell Jesus not to say, “Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” (John 5:14) because it will turn His hearers off? Would they caution Him against offending His audience when He said, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28)? I think we all know the answer.

In 1 Corinthians 9:22, when Paul said, “To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some,” he was being culturally relevant, not truth deficient. Our attitude shouldn’t offend others, but truth will. We should be more concerned about God’s opinion than popular opinion.

I truly believe that a “lack of boldness” in the pulpit, and the pew, is the result of not spending sufficient time alone with God while allowing His Word to empower us. Instead of spiritual guns of boldness being loaded in the prayer closet, we are turning into passive cowards who cover our lack of boldness with political spins and worldly excuses.

We must preach the difficult truths to set people free. The church cannot neglect, water down, or avoid preaching hard things because it may offend. Oswald Chambers reminds us that “the words of the Lord hurt and offend until there is nothing left to hurt and offend.” The gospel hurts before it helps; it condemns before it releases. To remove everything that offends is to remove the very foundation of the gospel.

The goal of preaching is to faithfully proclaim the Word of God, and not worry about “crowd appeal.” The church, as a whole, may have forgotten this vital truth, but it doesn’t follow that we should. We need to be “woke” to the things of God and “cancel” cowardliness.