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Turkey Pardon 2019

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on November 28, 2019 by andelino

President Donald Trump joked that the turkeys he was about to “pardon” had already been called by House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff to “testify” against him.

Saying that the Democrats had accused him of being “too soft on turkey,” the president introduced the two birds — named “Bread” and “Butter” — who had been chosen to participate in the annual presidential “turkey-pardoning” ceremony.

President Trump began with a few opening remarks about the tradition of pardoning the Thanksgiving turkey, an annual event that began with former President George H. W. Bush.

“In keeping with that tradition, today I will issue a pardon to a pair of very handsome birds, Butter and his alternate, Bread. Bread and Butter were raised in the Tarheel state by farmer Wiley Jackson who is here with us — who is here with us and his wife. Thank you very much,” he said.

“Thankfully, Bread and Butter have been specially raised by the Jackson’s to remain calm under any condition which will be very important because they have already received subpoenas to appear in Adam Schiff’s basement on Thursday. Hundreds of people have. It seems the Democrats are accusing me of being too soft on Turkey.” Trump joked.

Trump turned his attention to the birds, adding, “Bread and Butter, I should note that unlike previous witnesses, you and I have actually met. It’s very unusual. Very unusual. In any event, I expect this pardon will be a very popular one with the media. After all, turkeys are closely related to vultures. I don’t know if I like that line but there is some truth to it,” he smiled.

Vegan Cory Booker was asked about his favorite “comfort food.” Booker said “veggies.” Ask what the “Thanksgiving” holiday would look like under a Cory Booker administration, including whether or not President Booker would take executive action to stop the “wholesale slaughter” of America’s turkeys by pardoning every single one of the delicious birds under U.S. jurisdiction, Booker’s national press secretary Sabrina Singh said “Those are some tough questions, guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

Pete Buttigieg, Bread and Butter.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), a pro-vegan organization that describes the ultimate goal of veganism as “to help animals and reduce suffering,” has a clear stance when it comes to the American people’s “ritual lust” for turkey meat.

That stance is outlined in the following television advertisement PETA submitted to run on NBC during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, but was rejected by the same network overlords who rejected Ronan Farrow’s accurate reporting on the “sexual predations” of disgraced Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, who donated $7,800 to Booker’s Senate campaign in 2013, according to federal election records.

WARNING! If you are eating a Butterball Turkey for Thanksgiving, please understand that you are eating an “Islamic blessed, halal-certified bird.”

Trump and Thanksgiving
The assault on Thanksgiving
Feeling grateful on Thanksgiving
We had a lot to be thankful for when we got to America
Millennials Want to Get Rid of Thanksgiving
CNN’s pre-Thanksgiving civility lesson

Turkey Pardon

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , on November 21, 2012 by andelino

PETA Acronym
People
Eating
Tasty
Animals

As part of a White House “tradition” dating back to 1963, President Barack Obama on Wednesday will choose the “National” Thanksgiving Turkey. “Cobbler” and “Gobbler” are the 2 birds in the running for a “pardon.” Let’s hope Obama can “pronounce” their names correctly.

People for the Ethic Treatment of Animals (PETA), which is famous for its “shock tactics” and its“idiotic equation” of animals to humans has now carried its message to the White House.

While pushing Obama to skip the yearly Thanksgiving “turkey pardon,” PETA President Ingrid Newkirk said, “You understand so well that African-Americans, women, and members of the LGBT community have been poorly served throughout history, and now I am asking you to consider other living beings who are ridiculed, belittled, and treated as if their sentience, feelings, and very natures count for nothing.”

“Turkeys,” said Newkirk, did not need to be pardoned; “they are not guilty of anything other than being born into a world of prejudice.”

Hmm…comparing turkeys to blacks, women, and gays is certainly “dehumanizing” for blacks, women, and gays. But don’t expect to see “Democrats” and “minority rights groups” calling on PETA for an apology anytime soon. After all, members of the left stick with other members of the left, no matter how “insulting” they may be.

In consideration for the concerns of PETA, I have decided that I will no longer include in my Thanksgiving festivities the deep frying of blacks, gays, or women. “Turkeys,” however, will remain on the table.

I didn’t realize a “Black Turkey” could pardoning a White Turkey. What an oxymoron! Is Obama a “racist” for not pardoning an “non-white” turkey? Oh! Never mind.

As you sit down with your family on “Thanksgiving” and consider offering a prayer of “gratitude,” be aware the turkey at the center of the table has already been blessed– “Bismillah Allahu Akbar” – in the name of Allah the greatest.

This is what our socialist government members in the White House enjoy, plus six different pies…

This is what the rest of American’s get if you are lucky to have heat to warm it up…

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