Archive for penis

Feminism Hypocrisies

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , on November 13, 2017 by andelino

Hey men: retweet if you’ve ever been shown tits you did not want or expect to see.

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No Appetite For Sex

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2017 by andelino

Bruce Jenner “reveals” in his upcoming “memoirs” that he may never be “intimate with women again,” but might be “open to a male companion.”

“I don’t have the appetite for sex, which is why the public’s obsession over whether I would get gender confirmation surgery is annoying to me,” writes the 67-year-old “clueless rich white transgender” in the book “The Secrets of My Life,” which will be “released” later this month.

“It hearkens back to this misperception that people transition because of their sexual desires.”

“A future female companion? I think about that. A future female sexual companion? Not happening, at least for now, and perhaps not ever,” he wrote in a section of the book completed prior to his “gender confirmation surgery.”

“A future male sexual companion? I have never had the inclination. But maybe that attitude might possibly change when I have the final surgery.”

So I guess there are “two main takeaways” here:

1) Somewhere between the book being written and excerpts leaking, Bruce did get the “Final Surgery” to give him lady bits.

2) Despite all the magazine covers and garish outfits and fancy makeovers, Bruce still doesn’t fully know what it’s like to be a woman who’s interested in men.

Here’s a “quote” he gave People talking about “getting” the gender reassignment surgery:

“Transitioning is about nothing else but your soul. You are no more a woman the day after the surgery than the day before, okay?”

Sure, “inside” he’s always been the woman his “outside” now reflects.

But I would “argue” you’re not truly “living” the full experience as a woman by “filleting your penis into a vagina” until you get that “first dick” in there.

I’m sure Bruce was satisfied with his “femininity” after the original surgeries and transitioning, but getting that new “vagina and not getting a dick” in there is like spending years “waiting” to get a Ferrari and not ever “taking” it out of the garage.

How much of “womanhood” is tied up in “sex” with men?

Sarah Jessica Parker weaponized women’s “love for a dick” as an expression of “womanhood” in a TV show for a decade.

You go to brunch next to a “table of ladies” and you know what they’re talking about? “Sex.” It’s part of what it “means to be a woman in 2017.”

“No appetite for it”? Screw that. You’ve come this far, you “owe” it to yourself to “cross” the finish line.

“Little dicks, big dicks, Asian dicks, black dicks, dicks dressed like Mr. Peanut, whatever kind of dick you can conjure up in your imagination deserves a stopover on Bruce’s journey of self-exploration. No half measures, no half-inchers.”

I can’t wait for Bruce “telling” the world how it “felt the first time he had intercourse and lost his virginity in the deflowering process.”

What a “confused” individual.

Kendall Jenner “seems” to follow the “footsteps” of her Dad.


Jenner Feels ‘Liberated’ after Sex Reassignment Surgery
Jenner is done with women but will consider sex with men
It’s Finally The End For Jenner
Criticizing Jenner doesn’t mean you’re transphobic.

Frenulectomy

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2017 by andelino

Joshua Chubbs of Carbonear, playing bagpipes during the town’s Memorial Day ceremony.

Carbonear resident Josh Chubbs, 23, was “charged” on Feb. 20 under the “Medical Act” after a mother,  whom CBC News has agreed “not to identify,” called police to report that he had “written to her” last December, after she made a “routine” post on Facebook that mentioned her “children.”

The mother, who lives in the “Conception Bay North” area, said Chubbs wrote to her to “inquire” whether her son, who is under 10, was having any issues with his genitals, such as infections that might require a medical procedure like a frenulectomy.

“To say the conversation took a strange turn is a bit of an understatement,” she told CBC News.

“Frenulectomy” of the penis is often performed “a few days after birth” before discharge from hospital or at specialized “outpatient” clinics. Because it’s considered “cosmetic,” the surgery cost between $300 to $500 and isn’t “covered” by provincial insurance plans.

The mother described Chubbs as an “acquaintance” and said she knew he had worked at “Noel’s Funeral Home” in Carbonear in 2015. She said he “explained” to her that he also had training in “pediatric urology” and could do surgical operations like “frenulectomy.”

Josh Chubbs, 23, seen here in a social media photo.

According to Facebook “messages” seen by CBC News, Chubbs asked if her son had been “circumcised,” how he “cleaned” his penis and several “other questions” that she felt were “inappropriate.”

“He said, ‘I don’t want you to think I was a creep, I am trained,'” she said.

After “pressing” Chubbs further, she said he went on to “explain” how he never finished his “urology training” because he fell into the “funeral business.”

He told her he had training in “pediatric urology” and had “dealt with lots of boys who have had issues.”

“I did finish my course, got all my papers, it’s not illegal, I am trained,” he told her, and added: “I just don’t work for the hospital, which is why I don’t broadcast, but it’s legal.”

Josh Chubbs was working as a mortician at Noel’s Funeral Home in Carbonear.

In the messages, he claimed he had performed “frenulectomy” for his adult friends “on the side” and that he had “all his papers.”

He added he could do the “procedure” right in his home, which she described as “little more than a cabin in the woods” near the town of Freshwater.

“At this point I had goggled the length of time it takes to become a pediatric urologist, and he hasn’t even been out of high school that long” she said.

“So I knew then that this was something that needed to be brought to a higher power’s attention.”

The woman noted that the messages she “received” from Chubbs were difficult to “read” because of numerous “spelling” errors.

Chubbs claimed to have “completed” more than “50” procedures already, and even “referred” her to a mutual adult friend who had a “frenulectomy” successfully done by him.

The friend “confirmed” it, and went on to say Chubbs seemed “professional” and that there were no “complications” from his work.

The Carbonear mother kept the Facebook message conversation between her and Chubbs.

The mom said “hearing” that Chubbs had operated on an adult was “disturbing” enough, but for him to approach her about doing “unlicensed” surgery on her child was what finally “drove” her to contact the police.

“I was absolutely horrified,” she said.

“It red-flagged a lot of stuff for me, because God forbid there would actually be somebody too embarrassed to take their child to a doctor who would take them to a friend who was clearly not certified to do these things.”

Too “nervous” to call the RCMP’s Harbour Grace detachment to explain what Chubbs had said, she asked a “friend” to do so. She said at first, police didn’t take her friend “seriously and hung up,” but when her friend called back a “second” time they finally listened and eventually “charges” were laid.

Chubbs claimed to have performed more than 50 urology procedures.

Not only was Chubbs allegedly “offering” to perform medical procedures without “proper” credentials, but he also had not “finished” his apprenticeship to be a mortician.

The mother said she went to the “media” to make sure others don’t consider getting their child “treated” by someone without proper “medical” credentials.

“It’s important for people to know that without the proper credentials, things could go wrong,” the woman said.

“It’s a scary thought to think this is going on in a cabin in the woods.”

Chubbs is “scheduled” to appear in Harbour Grace “provincial court” on April 12.

He’s charged with “engaging” in medical practice while not “licensed” under the Medical Act from June 1 to Oct. 15, 2016. He is also being charged by “promoting” those services to people between Dec. 1 and 16, 2016.

I appreciate a good penis health story more than anyone. I love it when my penis is “clean as a whistle.”

I want that “sucker” to be so clean you could “eat off of it.” That’s a “common” desire. No one wants a “dirty, smelly” dick.

This story, however, isn’t about the “sanitary” levels of penises. It’s about “ethics” in frenulectomy.  It’s about “valuing” medical degrees.

When it comes to “frenulectomy,” there’s basically two “schools” of thought.

Some will say that it’s “actually good”

while others will say that it’s “actually bad”….

This story about unlicensed “frenulectomy” require some pediatric “warning” rules since “50 sets of parents” already fell for the “ole circumcision trick” inside “a cabin in the woods.”

You should “stop” medical conversations:

I. If a man or woman asks you about the state of cleanliness of your child’s penis via Facebook message.
2. If a man or woman asks the cleaning technique of your child’s penis.
3. If a man or woman suggests to you via Facebook that you should remove some of the tissue around the head of your child’s penis.
4. If a man or woman wants you to come to a remote cabin in the woods so he can take a look at your kid’s penis
5. And this is kind of a catch-all, if someone talks to you about your kid’s penis…that’s it. That’s the weird part. Talking to you about your kid’s penis is weird.

So parents, make sure your children have good “genital” health.

Just take them to a “licensed “ doctor to get it “done” and not some Canadian “cabin freak” in the wilderness.

Penile Strangulation

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on December 2, 2016 by andelino

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Your wife has given “birth” two weeks ago. Your are “horny” and in the “mood” for some self gratification but your penis “needs a little help.“

You’re in “desperate” need of a “cock ring” but don’t have one “handy,” what do you do?

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On the recommendation of “friends,” one desperate 28-year-old South African man squeezed his “wedding ring” around his penis instead.

Alas, the “dude” was soon suffering from “penile strangulation” emergency as his erect “schlong” turned “swollen and blue.” Instead of the anticipated “erection” he ended up in “excruciating pain needing surgery.”

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When the “hurting” guy arrived at the Van Velden Hospital in Limpopo “four” hours later “accompanied” by his mother, doctors took “photographs” of the damage before “trying” to remove the ring.

“His penis was severely swollen and blue, constricted by his wedding ring at the middle section.”

Hospital staff “sedated” the man and surgeons first tried to “remove” the ring first by the “string” method, but the “swelling” was too excessive.

An orthopedic “oscillating” saw was then used, but the ring was “too wide and too strong” and there was “limited space” due to the swelling.

They then attempted the “aspiration” technique by making multiple “punctures” with a 20ml syringe and pink needle to “drain” the stored blood.

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The “oedema” finally subsided enabling doctors to “slip” the ring off “intact” so it could be “worn” later again on the finger.

Treated with “antibiotics and painkillers” he was discharged after three days.

The man made a “full” recovery.

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The SAMJ said “penile strangulation” is a rarely described medical emergency, but occasionally “occurs” on a worldwide basis.

It has been reported across all “age” groups, but is done mostly for “erotic” reasons by adults.

There are no proper “guidelines” for treatment, and the academic journal “advised” that a doctor should decide on the “best removal method” depending on the “case,” the “settings” and the “available” equipment.

Obviously, the best “method” is simply “the one with a successful outcome.”

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Yikes. Next time you think about finding out whether your “wedding ring” fits on your penis, try to resist the “urge,” unless your dick is the “girth” of angel hair pasta.

Don’t You Just Hate When You Get A USB Cord Stuck Up Your Dick While Masturbating?

ESPN Social Justice Warriors

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 3, 2016 by andelino
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Curt Schilling, former “Major League Baseball” pitcher who won three “World Series” titles and ESPN Baseball Analyst Broadcaster.

I guess the below “transaction” was a FEC filing that Curt had to fill out when he “donated” money to an election campaign.

Obviously he “knew” for some time that his days at “ESPN” would come to an end “sooner than later.”

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ESPN’s “Social Justice Warriors” disliked him because he won’t stop being the “truthful”  uncle re-tweeting  “memes” on Facebook, but he’s not “walking” away.

There won’t be an “amicable” split where everyone is “still friends.” You want me gone, “fire me” because I’m not “leaving” as long as the “checks” keep clearing,

Curt Schilling 01

And promptly, the former “Major League Baseball” pitcher who won three “World Series” titles as a pitcher with the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Boston Red Sox was “sacked” from his job as a “baseball analyst” by ESPN’s “Social Justice Warriors.”

ESPN released a statement saying Schilling was no longer “welcome” as a broadcaster. “ESPN is an inclusive company. Curt Schilling has been advised that his conduct was unacceptable and his employment with ESPN has been terminated.”

What was the “final” straw that “broke” the camel’s back?

Schilling “re-tweeted” this meme on Facebook showing a large man “wearing” a wig and women’s clothing.

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The “re-tweet” was apparently in response to the “controversy” over the North Carolina “bathroom bill” law which serves as a noteworthy example of “fair and rational legislation to protect society’s most vulnerable members.”

H.B. 2 is a “pro-freedom and democracy” law that applies “only” to government-run facilities, liberating “private institutions, small businesses, and charities” from coercion by the state.

Schilling was previously “suspended” by ESPN’s “Social Justice Warriors” last year after he “re-tweeted”  a meme about Nazis and Muslims.

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Here is Curt Schilling’s response after getting “attacked” by the mainstream media for being a “racist”

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This is likely the easiest way to address all of you out there who are just dying to be offended so you can create some sort of faux cause to rally behind.

Let’s make one thing clear right up front. If you get offended by ANYTHING in my post, that’s your fault, all yours.

And for you people too dense to understand this one very important thing. My opinion, 100% mine, and only mine. I don’t represent anyone but myself here, on Facebook, on Twitter, anywhere.

1.The Nazis/Muslims meme the world decided to rally behind that I posted months ago. The meme that some of you clowns and more of you spineless looking to be offended folks turned into something it was not. Every one of you gutless cowards, when ‘calling me out’ or calling me a racist, every one of you left out the only word in that entire meme that mattered. You had to, otherwise you’d have had to go elsewhere to find offense and create something out of nothing. Let me help you now. All of you fraudulent media folks, you lazy ass “don’t actually want to work for a story” clowns. The word you left out? The ONLY word that mattered? EXTREMIST. That word being omitted creates two completely different posts with two very different meanings. I don’t dislike or hate Muslims, or people of the Islamic faith. Ask my friends that are both. But then again you all knew that, but when you omit the word EXTREMIST you create a person that doesn’t exist and have a story with traction, even if it is a complete lie.

2.This latest brew is laughingly beyond hilarious. I didn’t post that ugly looking picture. I “re-tweeted” a meme about the basic functionality of men’s and women’s restrooms, period.

See here’s the thing. I do NOT care what color you are, what race, what sex, who you sleep with, what you wear. I don’t care and I never have. I have opinions, but they’re just that, opinions. And opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one and they usually stink.

You know how I know you ‘offended’ people are full of crap? Because I’m not even close to any of the things you so desperately want me to be, so you can whine.

I’m loud, I talk too much, I think I know more than I do, those and a billion other issues I know I have. Like everyone of you I have flaws, but I’m ok with my flaws, they’re what make me, me. I thank the Lord for the life I’ve been given. A life interspersed and occupied by men and women who are gay, by people of all races and religions, by men and women who dress as the other, by men and women who’ve changed to women and men. Not one decision I’ve ever made about a person has anything to do with those things I just mentioned, nor will it ever.

You frauds out there ranting and screaming about my ‘opinions’ (even if it isn’t) and comments are screaming for “tolerance” and “acceptance” while you refuse to do and be either.

YOU’RE the ones making it the issue. I don’t care, if you ask me about any of the topics it’s likely (much to the chagrin of many) I’ll answer with my opinion.

There are things I have deeply held beliefs in, things I have that are core to who I am, things I am passionate about. If you ask me about them it’s likely I’ll give you a passionate answer, whether you like that answer or not is completely up to you. I am not going to give you answers to make sure you like what I say, let the rest of the insecure world do that.

But let me reiterate, I don’t care who, what, where or why you are who you are. I care about people and how they treat others. You will NEVER in your lives find a single person who’s met me/knows me who would ever say I treated them as anything other than a human. None.

Wouldn’t you assume that all of you offended folks would have heard of me treating people the way you needed me to treat them, to be what you so desperately want me to be? If people want to create stories or impressions where there are none, and you want/need to get offended by them that’s on you.

But for now, if you want to be offended and have that offense be by something you THINK you interpreted or you THINK you heard, go for it.

But for the love of God stop making crap up, it’s boring and it’s stupid and there are actual causes that need attention such as homeless veterans and our archaic education system.

Two benefits of this I didn’t foresee. 1) Twitter has made their “Block” far easier to use. 2) You find out who your friends are when folks create crisis about you, that actually aren’t.

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On the “transgender” issue I’m with Schilling. It’s just makes “common” sense.

If you have a “penis” you should use a stall in the men’s room.

If you have a “vagina” you should use a stall in the ladies room.

It doesn’t mean I “dislike” transgenders, it just means I don’t think making one person “comfortable” should come at the “expense” of making another one “uncomfortable.”

Here are some more Curt Schilling’s “I’m not being racist I’m just sharing truth” memes…

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Curt Schilling: Won’t Engage in Political Correctness For Hall of Fame Slot
Curt Schilling – After the Tweets

Donald Trump’s Manhood.

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , on March 13, 2016 by andelino

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Victoria Hartmann, of the “Erotic Heritage Museum” in Las Vegas, said she was “ready to induct Trump’s penis” into the museum’s “Hall of Fame.”

The idea came after presidential “rival” Marco Rubio started a row over the “size” of The Donald’s penis.

She said: “The Erotic Heritage Museum is best suited to preserve such an important artifact.”

Her offer came after the presidential hopeful was “forced” to defend the size of his ”tiny” hands.

Erotic Museum 01

The billionaire came under withering “fire” from rival Marco Rubio at a debate as he tried to muster some last-ditch “anti-Trump” effort.

The clash began when Rubio “pressed” Trump on why he does not bring his “clothing-making operations” to the United States from China and Mexico if he is so interested in “bringing jobs home”, a central tenet of his unconventional campaign.

Trump, referring to Rubio, said: “This little guy has lied so much about my record.” “Don’t worry about it, little Marco.”

Erotic Museum 02

But Rubio become more “ballsy” after continuous bashing from the property mogul retorting: “Well, let’s hear it, big Donald.”

Rubio said: “He’s always calling me little Marco. And I’ll admit he’s taller than me. He’s like 6’2, which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5’2.”

“And you know what they say about men with small hands? You can’t trust them.”

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However, 69-year-old Trump responded with a smile, holding up both hands to the audience, “Rubio referred to my hands, ‘if they’re small, something else must be small’. I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”

I think it should be “illegal” for anyone to blatantly say, or even hint, that they have a “big dick” and then not show everybody.

We so rarely are told the “truth” by politicians. Everybody is just allowed to “lie” their faces off and nobody can do anything about it.

We can’t have people “lying” like that. If you say you have a “big dick” prove it. Don’t have a “big dick?” Then don’t say you have a “big dick” and there won’t be any problems.

At least this way we’ll be able to weed out the “liars” from the “truth” tellers. It is especially pertinent if that person “might” be our next president.

Erotic Museum 03

Donald Trump says he has a “big dick?” Put your money where your mouth is and have a “replica” of that thing put into the “Erotic Heritage Museum” in Las Vegas.

In fact, The Donald’s whole candidacy for president should “hinge” on whether or not he has a “big dick” because it would prove whether he’s a “liar or not.”

If Trump shows that he actually has a “big dick” here are the keys to the “White House” and go build that wall “paid” for by Mexico.

If it turns out he doesn’t actually have a “big dick” go back to “Reality TV.”

“My dick is so great it’s in a museum” would be one hell of a presidential “slogan” come January 2016.

Since we’re now in the “schlong” phase of the “election” cycle, here are the new Trump “campaign” songs:

Naked Donald Trump

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2016 by andelino

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Artist Illma Gore is selling prints of what she imagines a “naked” Donald Trump would look like and it’s pretty hilarious.

Did you ever “fantasize” looking at a “pastel pencil” painting of a naked Donald Trump? No? Well here we are. Are you ready?

Here it comes. Don’t look if you don’t want to get an image “seared” into your brain for the rest of your life time.

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“Make America Great Again” 11″x14″ Pastel Pencils, 2016 by Illma Gore

“Make America Great Again” is about the significance we place on our “physical” selves. One should not feel “emasculated” by their penis size or vagina, as it does not “define” who you are. Your “genitals” do not define your “gender, your power, or your status.”

Simply put you can be a “massive” prick, despite what is in “your” pants.

I have no idea what Donald Trump “looks” like naked nor do I really want to “know” but if you look at this picture and don’t “laugh” then you don’t have a “sense” of humor. Don’t care what side of the “aisle” you sit on.

If you want to buy it you can do so HERE. Not sure why anyone would ever want to “own” a naked Donald Trump painting, then again I’m not sure why an artist thought to “draw” this in the first place.

The internet is indeed a “weird” place.

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