Archive for naked

Naked Donald Trump

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2016 by andelino

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Artist Illma Gore is selling prints of what she imagines a “naked” Donald Trump would look like and it’s pretty hilarious.

Did you ever “fantasize” looking at a “pastel pencil” painting of a naked Donald Trump? No? Well here we are. Are you ready?

Here it comes. Don’t look if you don’t want to get an image “seared” into your brain for the rest of your life time.

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“Make America Great Again” 11″x14″ Pastel Pencils, 2016 by Illma Gore

“Make America Great Again” is about the significance we place on our “physical” selves. One should not feel “emasculated” by their penis size or vagina, as it does not “define” who you are. Your “genitals” do not define your “gender, your power, or your status.”

Simply put you can be a “massive” prick, despite what is in “your” pants.

I have no idea what Donald Trump “looks” like naked nor do I really want to “know” but if you look at this picture and don’t “laugh” then you don’t have a “sense” of humor. Don’t care what side of the “aisle” you sit on.

If you want to buy it you can do so HERE. Not sure why anyone would ever want to “own” a naked Donald Trump painting, then again I’m not sure why an artist thought to “draw” this in the first place.

The internet is indeed a “weird” place.

Gay Fetishes

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2016 by andelino

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Welcome to 2016! A year where all sorts of “genitals” can be touched by unwilling, but “open-minded” participants, for the “sake” of a viral video.

I’m always “amused” how gay people get more and more “outlandish.”

First people just admitted “weird” things.

Then it was Dads “reading” their daughters’ “texts” to guys…

Next, girlfriends “seeing” each other “naked”

and now we have “lesbians” touching guys’ dicks for the “first” time on a YouTube video.

Having someone who has never touched a “penis” before, and isn’t in anyway attracted to “schlongs,” scrutinize your “pecker” probably isn’t going to be a “sexy” experience.

In the interest of “equality,” you can watch gay “men” touch women on the “boobs” or “vagina” for the first time.

I do have to say the gay guys were arguably more “competent and interested” in finding the clit than most straight guys are. They may have been concerned they would “fall” in the hole, or that they would be hit by an overwhelming “tuna” smell but at least they know now that the “clit has a hood.” Nothing can take that away from them.

Notice a trend? Basically every “idea” has been done at this point in order to keep getting people to “watch” these fetish videos.

Starting January 20, a weekly candlelit “Free the Nipple” yoga class will take place in a downtown Los Angeles studio loft.

Participants interested in the “topless” yoga classes at Astroetic Studios should bring a mat, water, a towel and bottoms, although a top is “optional,” according to the studio’s Facebook page.

The creators of the “bare-breasted” yoga class describe themselves as “a community committed to uplifting others and dismantling the patriarchy” using “radical acceptance, body positivity and gender equality.”

According to LAist, the first class will feature a “two for $30 special,” which allows a person to bring a friend. Otherwise, It’s $20 per person, per class.

The bare-breasted “yoga” class is an extension of a the “Free the Nipple” movement, which seeks to “equalize” men and women by taking one of the clearest “anatomical” differences between the two and “minimizing” it in the service of “equality.”

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The movement is an “attempt” to fight against the “sexualization” of women’s breasts.

Eat, Drink and be Merry

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2015 by andelino

Eat, Drink and be Merry 01

It’s that time of year again when people “eat, drink and spend money” more than any other “time of the year.”

It’s the time when evils like “exclusion, greed, acquisition, excess, family and unfairness,” all are couched between “Thanksgiving” and observing the birth of “Jesus” which become the order of the “Reason for the Season.”

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It has always been the Christians “desire”to counter these “evils” and make everyone feel “guilty” for their so called “blessings” by calling attention to the ongoing plight of “the homeless, the hungry, the poor and the destitute.”

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Indeed, when was the “last” time you turned on the local news on “Thanksgiving Day,” without being “bombarded” with images of “starving” masses lined up at a “shelter” for the only meal they’ll “ever” have all year?

Or stories of people “camping” out in tents on the “sidewalks” of businesses in spite of the “cold and lack of sanitary facilities,” all because they have no “job” to go to, no “family” with which to spend “quality” time, but most importantly, no “life” at all?

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For years Liberals “blamed” this sad state of affairs “first” on Reagan and then Bush. They “demanded” a government “solution” to this problem these “Christians” caused.

When Obama was “elected,” they finally had the solution they’d been “waiting” for.

Between Obama and a Democratic majority in both House and Senate, they “shoved” Christianity out of the way and set out to “prove” that Government “can and will always do a better job than God!”

Alas, “almost” eight years on, the “poor” are still with us and “life” is worse. It’s getting harder and harder to “convince” people that the long-lasting “consequences” of Reagan/Bush policies are at “fault.”

They’ve even classified “climate change” as the biggest threat to “national and global security.”

After forty-plus years of “warning” Americans that we have “less” than ten years to “save the planet,” we must grudgingly “concede” that we can’t exactly blame people for “reacting” to Christian predictions of “Judgment Day” taking place in 1975, then 1984, then 2000, etc.

Clearly we still need to “work” on our messaging.

In the meantime, “progressive” Liberals decided to put the “burden” back where it belongs, with the “Christians” who always “wanted” it.

It’s time to let them take the “blame” and demand they “solve” these problem, at least until Hillary’s “coronation,” when we’ll have more of the “right” people in charge.

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I found a YouTube video by some “guy” no one ever heard of. Someone who would easily be “forgotten” in the ensuing chaos.

Someone who would never get the fifteen minutes of “fame” he hoped to enjoy, because his “obscure” whack jobbery to “scapegoat” an entire Christian movement.

He “ranted” some nonsense about “Christmas” and the color of “Starbucks” cups and voila “The Starbucks Red Cup Kerfuffle” was born.

Thanks to the masses on “social media” already bored with Ben Carson’s “lies” and in desperate need of something “bright and shiny” to distract and ultimately “offend” and fill them with “outrage,” the Red Cup controversy not only went “viral” within hours, but just as “swiftly” developed a consensus of “group-think” guaranteed to “squelch” any threat of “backlash, push back, whiplash, ass whup, or even pussy whup.”

So much “glorious” Christian bashing! Scrolling down Facebook “news” feeds, all I saw was meme after meme after meme “scolding” all of Christianity for having nothing “better to do” with their time than “whine” about a red cup that made no mention of their “Savior.”

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Meme after meme after meme “exhorting” Christians to go out and “shelter the homeless, feed the starving, clothe the naked, employ the jobless, adopt the unwanted,” all the things they don’t “want” Government to do because they’ve insisted since time “immemorial” that they can do a “better” job of it.

That “raises” the question then why are the “homeless, starving, naked, jobless, unwanted,” etc. still with us?

Because Christians are too busy “raising” a big unholy stink about the “color” of a coffee cup.

What is it with their “hatred” of color? “I don’t like red cups. I don’t like the black man in the White House. I don’t like the gay rainbow flag.”

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Jesus said “the poor will always be with us.” Now his so-called followers “refuse” to do anything to “help” them, yet they “didn’t” want the Government to help them, “either.”

“Therefore, this season, when you see or read the same stories about the hungry lining up to be fed, the homeless queuing up to be sheltered, the people camping outside the stores hoping a great deal on a piece of merchandise within will make their prolonged suffering, deprivation, and subsequent trampling by like-minded victims of capitalism worth the wait, the trouble, and the money they never had to part with since they never worked for it, because they had no job…blame the Christians.”

And when you sit down this season to “partake” of what others “cannot,” because of Christians, you shouldn’t “feel” guilty.

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After all, Christians “brought” society to this, and “only” Government is the people’s “true” salvation.

Snoop Dogg Helps Deliver 1,500 Thanksgiving Turkeys in Inglewood

Stop Terrorism

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on May 20, 2015 by andelino

Stop Terrorism 01

President Barack Obama has “asked” that all Americans on “Memorial Day” unite at 3:00 p.m. local time for a common cause to “stop terrorism.”

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As you may already know, “Islamic” people cannot stand “nudity,” they consider it a “sin” to see a “naked” woman that is not their “wife,” and if he does, he must “commit” suicide.

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This “Memorial Day” all American women are asked to “walk” out of their house completely “naked” to help weed out any “terrorists” in the neighborhood.

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Circling your block for one “hour” is recommended for this anti-terrorist “nude” activity.

All “patriotic” men are to position themselves in front of their houses to “demonstrate” their support for the women and to “prove” that they are not “Muslim” terrorist sympathizers.

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Since Islam also does not approve of “alcohol,” a cold 6-pack of beer at your side is further “proof” of your patriotism.

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The Obama Administration appreciates your “participation” to root out terrorists and applauds your “patriotism” in this anti-terrorist activity.

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It is your patriotic “duty” to inform others. If you don’t send this post to at least 10 persons, you’re a “terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward” and are possibly “aiding and abetting” terrorists.

Don’t forget to mark “May 25th” on your calendar to help “stomp out” terrorist activities nationwide.

God bless America!

Anti Terrorist 08

According to the latest news brief a “cell of four terrorists” has been operating in Washington, D.C.

Police “advised” earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been “detained.”

The Department of Defense (DOD) stated that the terrorists “Bin Loafin,” “Bin Drinkin,” and “Bin Fightin” have been “arrested” on immigration issues.

Unfortunately, the Police can find no one “fitting” the description of the fourth cell member, “Bin Workin,” in the city.

They are, however, confident that “anyone” who looks like “Workin” will be very easy to “spot” in the capital.

Beer is Good For You

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2015 by andelino

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According to new research, a compound used in beer could help protect “brain” cells from damage.

So, cheers. “Drink Up People!”

The study found “Xanthohumol,” a compound in the hops used to “flavor” beer, is able to protect the brain from “degenerative” disorders, such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.

Xanthohumol or “Xn,” which is known to have strong “antioxidant” properties, was found to “protect” brain cells from oxidative “damage,” which is associated with “forms” of dementia.

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Jianguo Fang and his team at Lanzhou University took “brain” cells from a rat and stress-tested them with “Xn” in a series of experiments.

And they found the “Xn” reduced the level of “oxidative” stress on the cells, a process linked to “degenerative” diseases.

The study concluded: “Our results suggest that Xn might be a potential candidate for the prevention of neurodegenerative disorders.”

However, scientists have advised against thinking an “extra beer a day will keep the Alzheimer’s away.”

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Previous studies have suggested that “excessive” alcohol consumption can lead to brain “tissue” loss, leading to an increased “risk” of dementia.

Dr. Arthur Roach, director of research at Parkinson’s UK, indicated that many “drugs” have their origins in “natural” products.

“Xanthohumol, the molecule in beer this study focuses on, appears to have protective effects on cells grown in the lab similar to those lost in Parkinson’s. It certainly does not suggest drinking a pint a day could stave off the condition.”

“This is a very early step, and only further work will indicate whether this could lead to new drugs for Parkinson’s and other neurodegenerative diseases.”

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You know what one of the great “things” about being an adult is? The ability to be an “enabler” for yourself.

Studies like “this” go a long way.

For instance, there are tons and tons of “studies” out there that tell you beer is “bad” for your brain.

Drink “too much” of it and you’re going to “kill” brain cells and end up a “vegetable.”

But then a “study” like this comes out and tells us “drinking” beer is actually “food” for our brains. Intriguing.

This is where the self “enabling” comes in.

I’ll go with the “latter” because it fits me. It’s great.

No matter what your “point of view” is, thanks to the Internet, there’s more than likely a study out there that “supports” your way of thinking in order to never “feel” bad about yourself.

You’re only on this “earth” for 70 plus years so you might as well enjoy a “cold beer in moderation” and feel good about it.

Drunk Dude

Unless you are “drunk” riding home “naked” on the subway.

Dating Naked

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , on September 20, 2014 by andelino

Dating Naked 01

Jappy Long Island Chick Jessie Nizewitz, 28, is suing Viacom, claiming that she was repeatedly promised by the producers that her “private parts” would be “blurred out” during VH1’s third episode of the reality show “Dating Naked” in May.

So she “stripped down” to her birthday suit with wet beach sand covering parts of her body and performed a WWE-style “wrestling move” on her date while the producers egged her on, according to the $10 million suit filed in Manhattan by her high- powered lawyer, Matthew Blit.

“I felt lied to, manipulated and used. I was horrified,” Nizewitz claimed, explaining that she was brought to tears.

When the episode aired on July 31, Nizewitz became the “butt of jokes” on YouTube, Twitter and Tumblr, the papers state.

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“I immediately started getting text messages. Everyone saw it,” Nizewitz recalled. “One of the messages read, ‘So your money shot is on cable TV.’”

Even the runway model’s family caught an eyeful. “My grandma saw it. I saw her this week and she didn’t have much to say to me. She’s probably mad. My parents are just annoyed,” Nizewitz lamented.

You might want to check out some of the Long Island beauty’s other claims as a nude model working with famed fashion designer and convicted pedophile Anand Jon, who counted a who’s who of Hollywood stars as his friends, including Paris Hilton and Jessica Alba.

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Jessie Nizewitz and convicted pedophile Anand Jon.

“I think they owe me a huge apology.” She added that the show cost her a “budding relationship” with a man she had been seeing for a month.

“He never called me again after the show aired. I would have hoped we could have had a long-term relationship. He was employed, Jewish, in his 30s and that’s pretty much ideal,” Nizewitz said.

That said, are her “private parts” really that special. I have seen quite a few in my days and they are all “pretty much” the same.

Yes, it would have been much “sexier” if it had been the “frontal” view than the “rear” view.

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It’s only a vagina and butthole.

My question is, did the show partners and crew members see her “beaver” or was her beaver “blurred out” to them too?

If you get “naked,” you’re going to be seen…“naked.” If you don’t want it seen, don’t show it. If you don’t want to be “naked” on TV, don’t go on TV “naked!”

Case dismissed! Next.

Imagine. You go on a show where you are totally “naked” and then there is a “wardrobe” malfunction. Who would have “thunk” it! Poor baby!

You gotta wonder how many people had “no idea” this happened, but after reading about this “lawsuit” went back through their DVR library, “checking it out, share it with friends, and uploading” it to various websites.

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Nizewitz shows the video that led to her lawsuit.

She just made sure that millions of people who didn’t see it when it first aired, now will.

Classic move to “agree to do a TV show where you film completely naked at all times and then sue for $10 million when people see you naked.”

Something tells me if you’re a chick who’s willing to go on first dates with your “pussy out for the boys” that a quick little “vagina flash” isn’t causing you to “lose” sleep at night.

She can go “on and on” about her grandmother seeing her “naked” and her parents “annoyed” with her and all the tweets about her “money shot,” but this all boils down to one thing and one thing only.

“The employed Jewish dude in his 30s that dumped her ass. A 30-something Jew with a job is like the ‘Holy Grail’ for Jewish American Princesses. That’s literally the only thing they want in this world. If you offered them a pile of $10 million or a Jew with a job, they are taking the guy in a heartbeat.”

I guess in Jessie’s case she’s just trying to “compensate” for getting the boot. Ease the pain of losing a “mensch” of a man.

Jess just a thought here. I’m not so sure it was a “crotch blur fail” that made him “dump” you. I’m pretty sure it was you “going” on a reality TV show wrestling “unblurred” naked with other dudes sharing your “private parts” with the world.

Just my 2 cents.

17 Butts from “Dating Naked

Metugricuna

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , on March 29, 2014 by andelino

The acronym “METUGRICUNA” stands for “Millennials Emphasizing That Unlimited Government Renders Its Citizens Utterly Naked & Afraid.”

Why are the Millennials naked and afraid in “ObamaCare” Land? Can’t they make it to the 01-20-2017 Finale?obamacare

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METUGRICUNA

Naked and Afraid in ObamaCare Land
Created & Produced by Progressive Democrats under the leadership of President Barack Obama.
All Rights Infringed 2008–2017.

 

Condoms Galore

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , on January 12, 2014 by andelino

Condom Designs 00Condoms have been in “use” for hundreds of years, although the recent past has seen nothing of note “forthcoming” on the packaging end.

It’s time to give the contraceptive some new “life” with witty remarks.

Whether that will lead to “increased” use, though, is another question.

Because, you know, it’s kinda hard to read when you’re inebriated…

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Here is a rather unusual advertisement for “Naked” brand condoms. A young couple is in the drug store looking to buy rubbers. Um, but what’s the right size? Luckily, the pair are given some good advice, and some friendly buyers have them covered. Why not just try it on? Because, you know, buying condoms is apparently no different from buying clothes. I mean…just see for yourselves!

Apparently the condom-advertisement for the “One Pound Johnny Club” is an attention getter. Even though it doesn’t show anything incriminating. It doesn’t even have a surprising ending. Maybe the slogan “Sex Without The Mess” is intended to motivate us to use condoms. To prevent mishaps, like shown here.

There are companies that can do anything in commercials. “Durex” is definitely one of them. We’ve compiled a few videos from all over the world from the condom manufacturer. Do you know of any other Durex videos that are must sees? Then bring them on!

Here we have Durex’s ad for its “Mutual Climax” condom brand. A DJ uses two turntables and the Marvin Gaye hit “Let’s get it on” to demonstrate how the special condom effect’s supposed to work: “Speeds her up – Slows him down”. Although whether it works that way…well, you’ll have to test that out for yourselves. Interesting advertisement in any case!

Durex ads are always fun, as we’ve often noticed. Just the way condom ads should be – otherwise they’re somehow always a bit embarrassing. Here’s a collection of “31 Durex” print ads. Enjoy!

31 creative Durex condom ads

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Free condoms have been distributed at every Olympics since 1992, when Barcelona hosted the Summer Games.

Naked Pick Up Guy

Posted in sex with tags , , , on November 11, 2013 by andelino

Naked Pick Up 01Norwegian YouTube personality Freddy Fairhair took his prank to the Frognerparken, aka “Vigeland’s park” in Oslo, Norway, where a “lifetime of work” by Gustav Vigeland exhibits dozens of “naked statues” of men, women and children.

He “approaches” women in the park.

He takes his “pants off” in front of them.

He tries to “hug” woman.

He says, “I’m having a boner,” then basically makes a woman look at his “penis” to make sure he has an “erection.”

Many of the women he “surprises” laugh it off, others actually “warm up” to Freddy.

While some say the display is “harassing” behavior, others think it’s just “good” fun.

As Freddy approaches the women he asks for their “phone” number.

You can have my number if you like, says one woman.

Whether or not it is the girl’s “real” phone number remains unclear.

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Fairhair “approaches” another group of women who he apparently “especially” likes.

“I’m actually standing here having a boner,” he tells the girls who laughing with him.

“You turn me on. Is it visible? I don’t want to look.”

As “awe struck” as Freddy’s behavior appears, he has a surprising “success” rate.

If the people in this video would be “offended” by nudity they probably wouldn’t be “hanging” out in a park full of “nude” statues.

Let alone, in a park where the locals sunbathe “topless” and in the “nude” on occasion in the summer months.

At the “end of the clip”, when the “cops” eventually show up, one “shakes” his hand.

Everyone has a good “laugh” and Fairhair is released back into the world to “surprise” more women.

Fairhair claims he feels “confidence” and “freedom” in doing this naked “stunts” and thanks all the “great men” who helped him and the “girls who played along.”

At the very end, we’re encouraged to “share” if we “dare.”

Apparently, this is more “accepted” in Norway than the United States, where this man would likely be “arrested” or maced.

Boomer Sex Myths

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , on February 2, 2013 by andelino

baby‑boomersThe Boomers, the “love” generation who thanks to the benefits of oral contraception “practically invented sex”, are now leading a new “sexual revolution” on behalf of “wrinkly” seniors.

So says senior sex expert Joan Price, who suggests a “youth-oriented” culture just needs to get used to the idea of the over 60s getting “naked.”

Her blog “Better Than I Ever Expectedgets lots of hits from people searching on the phrase “granny sex” says Price, a sex activist who’s determined to get rid of what she calls “the ick factor” in senior sex.

The author of two books on the topic practices what she preaches. Ten years ago she fell for a 64-year-old – “the love of her life” she says – and there was no stopping her. “Neither of us knew sex could be so good,” she says.

Boomer Sex Myths

The “ick” factor is the idea that sex is reserved for young bodies, she says. If I encounter the ‘ick’ factor, my response is always:At what age do you plan to retire your genitals?” said Price, who turned 68 in November.

One of the “primary” myths Price wants to shatter is the idea that seniors have “lost” interest in sex.

Seniors are interested and need more information about “how” to enjoy it with their “changing” bodies, she said.

“It is harder for seniors to find sexual information related to them than it is for 10-year-olds,” Price said.

Most Common Sex Myths About Boomers

At A Certain Point In A Relationship, Sex No Longer Matters

At A Certain Point In A Relationship, Sex No Longer Matters

After what may be decades of commitment and teamwork in a marriage, couples often reach a point when they stop viewing sex as a necessity in a relationship now built upon the strong tenets of trust, friendship and love. A lack of sex in a marriage, however, can turn couples into buddies or quasi-roommates and make that special spark even harder to ignite.

As People Age, They Lose Their Desire To Have Sex

As People Age, They Lose Their Desire To Have Sex

Despite the effects that hormonal changes can have on the libidos of older couples, rest assured men and women can enjoy sex at any age. It might not be as easy to become aroused in your 50s as it was in your 20s, but you can increase your sexual stimulation with frequent exercise, healthy changes in diet and, yes, those little blue pills. Here’s a tip: the more you have sex, the more you will want to have it. A Women Loses Her Ability To Achieve An Orgasm As She Agesjpg

A Women Loses Her Ability To Achieve An Orgasm As She Ages

Though oft repeated, this claim is not necessarily true. By now, you should know what you like and dislike and be able to shed any sexual inhibitions that you may still be holding on to. Sex after 50 is no longer about exploring foreign terrain, it’s about feeling good in your own skin. For these reasons, many women find sex after 50 to be more emotionally and physically satisfying than at any other stage in their lives.

A Man Loses His Ability To Achieve An Erection As He Ages

 A Man Loses His Ability To Achieve An Erection As He Ages

Though diminishing hormone levels can increase the chance of erectile dysfunction in older men, it shouldn’t prevent couples from having healthy, fulfilling sex lives. Apart from Viagra, Cialis and a host of other medical options, men can increase their ability to become aroused in the bedroom through exercise, masturbation and increased foreplay with a partner.

All Problems In The Bedroom Will Vanish With An Empty Nest

All Problems In The Bedroom Will Vanish With An Empty Nest

Many couples tend to sweep problems they have in the bedroom under the rug with the assumption that sex and romance in their marriage will thrive once the kids leave for college. Unfortunately, without curfews and defiant teens to discuss, couples can often find themselves struggling to make conversation with one another. Such disconnect will create further problems in the bedroom. If the state of your union isn’t as strong as you’d like, confront the issues head on and don’t make excuses.

A Midlife Crisis Is A Marital Death Sentence

 A Midlife Crisis Is A Marital Death Sentence

The common narrative goes that a midlife crisis will wreak havoc on the stability and romance of a marriage and may even lead to infidelity and divorce. To combat feelings of boredom and wanderlust, couples should take advantage of the midlife crisis to explore each other sexually in new ways. Incorporate fantasies, toys and role playing scenarios in the bedroom to spice things up and turn a midlife crisis into a catalyst for adventure.

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