Tinseltown

 

Hollywood reaction was swift in “Tinseltown” as the reality of the four “horrific” years that await the nation under a “Trump” presidency began to sink in.

The “elite and scary” snowflakes were outraged that their “deplorable” fans had ignored their “wishes and exhortations” to vote for Hillary because they “said so.”

In the days leading up to the “election,” celebrity endorsements of Hillary Clinton made it plain that only “racists, misogynists, Klansmen, Nazis and inbred hillbillies” could possibly find Trump “palatable.”

Scared Green Day “punk” Billie Joe Armstrong felt sorry for the “poor rubes” who embraced Trump:

“The worst problem I see about Trump is who his followers are. I actually feel bad for them, because they’re poor, working-class people who can’t get a leg up. They’re pissed off and he’s preyed on their anger. He just said, ‘You have no options and I’m the only one, and I’m going to take care of it myself.’ I mean, that’s fucking Hitler, man! He went on to explain that referring to Barrack Obama as “The One” or “The Lightbringer” who was going to solve everyone’s problems and heal the planet was entirely different, because Obama is a Democrat.”

Heroin “addicted” vocalist James Taylor agreed that Trump is a “fascist,” but not as cool as Hitler:

“This guy isn’t Hitler — this guy is Mussolini. This is a sort of a puffed-up, self-absorbed, all-hat-and-no-cattle cowboy. All style and no content. It almost feels like an act of ransom and wanton destruction to vote for him.”

Wearing “’Nazi-inspired” jacket Lady Gaga pointed out the difference between “cool” Hillary-style fascism and “bad” Trump-style fascism in her own style statement at a Hillary “rally” in Raleigh North Carolina the “night before the election.”

“We think this will really appeal to the Nazi-loving hillbillies out here in the sticks. It’s like really ironic cool to denounce somebody as a Nazi while dressed as a Nazi. But I don’t think these hicks will get it.”

When it became apparent that the “hicks” indeed did not get it and the electoral vote count had “swung” to Trump, Hollywood sprang into action

“Dick” Richard Melville Hall aka “Moby” penned an “open letter” to the American public, expressing his thoughts in all “lowercase, italic letters” because he’s like really cool like that:

“and in the process you’ve denied the presidency to an experienced and erudite woman whose only shortcoming is being on the receiving end
of a 30 year right-wing smear campaign. 
as a life long progressive i’m supposed to be diplomatic and understanding, but america, what the fuck is wrong with you?
 …and the climate will suffer. the inner cities will suffer. children will suffer. animals will suffer. gun deaths will continue to skyrocket.
 we will suffer. all because americans live in this delusional, upside down world wherein they’re unwilling to look at evidence.”

Smug, condescending “know-it-all” Aaron Sorkin heaped “vitriol” on the watchers of his program after writing an “emotional” letter to his 15-year-old daughter, Roxy, and her mother, Julia Sorkin, “explaining” Trump’s victory

“And it wasn’t just Donald Trump who won last night—it was his supporters too. The Klan won last night. White nationalists. Sexists, racists and buffoons. Angry young white men who think rap music and Cinco de Mayo are a threat to their way of life (or are the reason for their way of life) have been given cause to celebrate. Men who have no right to call themselves that and who think that women who aspire to more than looking hot are shrill, ugly, and otherwise worthy of our scorn rather than our admiration struck a blow for misogynistic shitheads everywhere. Hate was given hope.”

Open and inclusive “queer” Lea DeLaria, originally billed as “That Fucking Dyke” born clutching a dildo and now star of the HBO hit “Orange is the New Black” hopes to heal national “rifts” with a bit of tough love:

“pick up a baseball bat and take out every fucking republican and independent I see and adorned her tweet with #fucktrump, #fucktheGOP, #fuckstriaghtwhiteamwerica and #watchmyshowandvoteformeintheemmysyouinbredhillbillyfucks.

Heartbroken and distraught “pedophile” Lena Dunham castigated women for their “failure” to conform to identity politics, which made her “lady parts” hurt:

“It’s painful to know that white women, so unable to see the unity of female identity, so unable to look past their violent privilege, and so inoculated with hate for themselves, showed up to the polls for him, too. My voice was literally lost when I woke up, squeaky and raw, and I ached in the places that make me a woman, the places where I’ve been grabbed so carelessly, the places we are struggling to call our own.”

These rich “disenfranchised and voiceless” celebrities will not go “quietly” into the night however.

Elijah Berg, originator of a Change.org petition to nullify the election by “subverting” the electoral college is a “cheating Democratic advocate, liar and ethics dunce” calling on electors to ignore the “popular” vote in the states they represent and instead “cast” their votes for Hillary Clinton so as to represent the “will of the people” that matter:

“Mr. Trump is unfit to serve. His scapegoating of so many Americans, and his impulsivity, bullying, lying, admitted history of sexual assault, and utter lack of experience make him a danger to the Republic. We are calling on the Electors to ignore their states’ votes and cast their ballots for Secretary Clinton.”

Garbage truck “adornment” Lady Gaga led the charge. She was quickly followed by a “herd” of liberal entertainment figures including Westworld’s Jeffrey Wright, singer Pink, Amanda Seyfried, Sia, and Laverne Cox, who joined in the strident call to “correct the wrong done by the American voters.”

Hopefully they will be “influential” enough to save the Republic from its “own” citizens, who are obviously “unqualified” to cast a vote and should not be allowed to hold an “opinion” that has not been thoroughly endorsed by “ Social Justice Warriors.”

And equally hopefully, the “misogynistic, racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, inbred, Klan-loving, Nazi-humping, bigots” will not boycott these “saints of the silver screen and troubadours of truth.”

The “same” can be said of all Hollywood distraught “weirdos” and their followers who calling for “secession” after the Trump victory.

Obama’s “legacy” went down the “toilet” when Donald Trump “drowned” Hillary and became the “45th President of the United States of America.”

Hollywood Is a Cesspit That Needs to Be Flushed

The Interview

Sony has decided to pull “The Interview” from all theaters in “response” to the decision by the country’s major “movie theater” chains not to “show” the film, which had been “scheduled” to open on December 25.

“In light of the decision by the majority of our exhibitors not to show the film The Interview,” we have decided not to move forward with the planned December 25 theatrical release.

“We respect and understand our partners’ decision and, of course, completely share their paramount interest in the safety of employees and theater-goers,” said a statement from the studio.

“Sony Pictures has been the victim of an unprecedented criminal assault against our employees, our customers, and our business. Those who attacked us stole our intellectual property, private emails, and sensitive and proprietary material, and sought to destroy our spirit and our morale — all apparently to thwart the release of a movie they did not like. We are deeply saddened at this brazen effort to suppress the distribution of a movie, and in the process do damage to our company, our employees, and the American public. We stand by our filmmakers and their right to free expression and are extremely disappointed by this outcome.”

The language used in Sony’s statement does leave the door open for “The Interview” to possibly be released at a “later” date.

The country’s top five theater chains — “Regal Entertainment, AMC Entertainment, Cinemark, Carmike Cinemas and Cineplex Entertainment” — chose to pull “The Interview” from their theaters after new “threats” from the hacker group “implied” that moviegoers would be in “danger” at screenings of the “Seth Rogen-James Franco” comedy.

Sony did not “decided” to pull the film, but told exhibitors it was “up to them” whether or not they played it, but would support “whatever” decision they made.

The latest note from the “hacker” group, which goes by the name “Guardians of Peace,” stated:

“The world will be full of fear. Remember the 11th of September 2001. We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places that screen the film at that time. If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.”

For the past two weeks, the “Guardians of Peace” have released thousands of “private” emails, many of them belonging to Amy Pascal and Michael Lynton, and other “confidential” information like Social Security numbers and “financial” information of actors.

After the “Theater Chains” canceled the release of the “The Interview,” a Texas theater said it would swap the film with Paramount’s 2004 film “Team America: World Police.”

The plot of “Team America,” co-written by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, “revolves” around Kim Jong-il, the “father” of current North Korean “dictator” Kim Jong-un.

The posters “promoting” the R-rated movie in 2004 included the tagline, “Putting the “F” Back in Freedom.”

”We’re just trying to make the best of an unfortunate situation,” James Wallace, creative manager and programmer at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema’s Dallas/Fort Worth location, told the news.

“American flags and other patriotic items will be given out by theater employees,” Wallace says.

But those “plans” have now also been “canceled” by Alamo Drafthouse Cinema and other theaters to run “Team America: World Police” in place of “The Interview.”

The Austin-based chain says that “Paramount” has now decided “not to offer” South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s 2004 “satire.”

Alamo says that the “cancellation” at its Dallas theater is “due to circumstances beyond our control” and says it will offer “refunds” to those who have already “bought” tickets.

Cleveland’s “Capitol Theater” also tweeted that Team America “has been canceled by Paramount Pictures.”

In view of these “cancellations” the White House “announced” today that they will release the long-awaited “sequel” to the popular “dark” comedy from the 90s, “Wag the Dog,” titled simply “Wag the Dog II.”

Starring “King” Hussein Obama and North Korean “Emperor” Kim Jong-un, the new movie also features special “guest” appearances by Dennis Rodman and various members of the hacker group “Anonymous.”

“Wag the Dog II” will be shown during the “Marxmas” Holidays in theaters near you for “free!”

The White House described the attack on Sony Studios as “spontaneous hacking in response to offensive video mocking Juche and its prophet.”

Even Michael Moore in a rare moment of clarity tweeted this: “Dear Sony Hackers: Now that u run Hollywood, I’d also like less romantic comedies, fewer Michael Bay movies and no more Transformers.”

Bugs Bunny vs. Kim Jong-un

Idiocy of Hollywood

The “Idiocy of Hollywood” was in full bloom when Gwyneth Paltrow turned an already “embarrassing” Hollywood fundraiser into “The Dating Game.”

Paltrow, who hosted the event in her Brentwood backyard, gushed as she introduced President Obama, “You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly.”

In her brief introduction punctuated by “ums,” Paltrow declared herself to be one of Obama’s biggest fans and said he’s an “incredible role model.”

“I am one of your biggest fans, if not the biggest, and have been since the inception of your campaign,” she said, adding that she thinks both of his campaigns and his presidency will be one of the most important and most scrutinized of all time.

Paltrow noted the approaching Nov. 4 midterm elections in which Democratic control of the Senate is at risk.

She called it a “critical time” for Democrats and seemed to urge everyone to vote, mentioning “equal rights for women in the workplace, investments in sustainable energy and everything green.”

She then showed utter ignorance about, and contempt for, the Constitution and separation of powers — the basic tenant of our government — by saying, “It would be wonderful if we were able to give this man all of the power that he needs to pass the things that he needs to pass.”

“I’m taking her to the next event,” Obama quipped when it was his turn to speak and then thanked Paltrow and her kids for “letting us crash your house.”

TMZ editors went on to say it is “demeaning” for presidents to act like “circus animals — performing for crowds that will feed them.”

“It’s revolting that celebrities and other rich people feel such a need for self-importance — contributing money but ONLY if they can have their picture taken with the president and tell their friends they had dinner with him.”

They concluded by saying “the celebrity circus has sullied the Presidency of the United States.”

Obama’s “star” has fallen very low indeed when he can no longer “fun raise” in Hollywood without getting “savaged” by the entertainment media.

Gwyneth Paltrow recently filed for “divorce” from her husband of 13 years, “Coldplay” front man Chris Martin, with whom she has two children, Apple and Moses.

Like nearly all divorces in Hollywood, Gwyneth’s “burning” desire is to be admired by a “handsome” man like Barack.

What Paltrow fails to realize is that she is far “too old and unattractive” to ever have the honor of being “adored” by Obama, other than a “backyard” fundraiser.

These days Gwyneth spends her time standing by her window flashing her “breast nipple” to any man that walks by in the hope that he will give her the “unimaginable” pleasure of attention.

Another explanation of President Obama’s greatness comes from the female Senior Advisor to the President of the United States and Assistant to the President for Public Engagement and Intergovernmental Affairs, Valerie Jarrett:

“I think Barack knew that he had god-given talents that were extraordinary. He knows exactly how smart he is. He knows how perceptive he is. He knows what a good reader of people he is. And he knows that he has the ability — the extraordinary, uncanny ability — to take a thousand different perspectives, digest them and make sense out of them, and I think that he has never really been challenged intellectually. So what I sensed in him was not just a restless spirit but somebody with such extraordinary talents that had to be really taxed in order for him to be happy. He’s been bored to death his whole life. He’s just too talented to do what ordinary people do.”

How fortunate we are to have a Ruler so “intellectually superior” to us all that the world’s most “challenging” problems are not challenging “enough” for him!

This must explain why Obama “allows” events to become more and more “complicated” before he feels inspired enough to “confront” a challenge.

He’s simply “too bored” to be bothered until a situation becomes “impossibly” complex, so complex for simple “mortals” but not for an “intellectual” god, such as President Obama!

Tears well in my eyes as I contemplate the “fortune” of this great nation having a gift such as Barack Obama granted to us by the “evolutionary” advancement of all things.

Can he be “anything” other than the link between “mere” humanity and a final “evolution” to Deity?

I think we all know the answer to that “utopical” question.

Gwyneth Paltrow Faces the Wrath of her Neighbors After Obama Fundraiser

Ugly Washington D.C.

“Washington Is Hollywood For Ugly People” is a video animation that employs images from popular culture, political figures and imagery found in the internet.

The piece adopts the form of “viral” advertising in a reduction of contemporary events to a cartoon like “mythology” while touching on issues such as “identity politics, U.S. foreign policy, sexuality and power.”

“Washington is Hollywood for Ugly People” is hitting hard at the “hypocrisy” of the political rhetoric from George W. Bush years leading up to the 2008 presidential election of Barack Hussein Obama.

As hilarious as it is “scary”, the video merges internet-scavenged imagery and original animation with “pop graphics” to create semi-fictional relationships between “political figures, corporations, and mass media iconography.”

Imagine Bush headed Jennifer Aniston, Gozilla Arafat, Jesus bin Laden, Saddam Hussein on the skateboard, Kim Jong Il as Terminator, Hillary as multi-headed Asimo, Meccadonalds and more.

The video by Kenneth Tin-Kin Hung was in the official selection at the “Sundance Film Festival 2008” and has been screening at various film festivals around the world.

A message of “Hope” to Obama cultists

Porgie Georgie

You might have heard that Obama attended a $40,000-a-head, modern bourgeois society party at George Clooney’s multimillion dollar, two-floor, 7,354-square-foot Mock Tudor home, which he bought 20 years ago from Fleetwood Mac singer Stevie Nicks, in a leafy hillside enclave of Los Angeles.

In the driveway guests were greeted by a sign saying “Pot-bellied Pig Crossing,” which referred to the actor’s late pet, Max. Dinner was served on the star’s private basketball court where 14 round tables, decorated with blue hydrangeas, were placed under a tent with a transparent roof lighted with hanging white paper lanterns. Celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck, who does the catering for the Oscars, agreed to whip up some Peking-style roasted ducklings for Obama and guests. (No Dogs?)

Welcoming guests Clooney joked about the superhero roles played by Downey Jr., Maguire and himself. He said: “We have Iron Man (Downey Jr.), Spider-Man (Maguire) and Batman (Clooney) in the room. We should let the Secret Service take the night off.”

Clooney sat with his girlfriend Stacy Kiebler on a table in the middle, his hands folded as if in prayer, while he was lauded for his largesse by the commander-in-chief. The presidential tribute, even by Hollywood standards, was gushing. “I want to thank Clooney for letting us use his basketball court. We raised a lot of money because everybody loves George. They like me, they love him. And rightfully so. He seems to occupy a constant state of grace, and uses his extraordinary talents on behalf of something truly important.”

Obama also talked about getting wrinkles and grey hair, adding: “George doesn’t have to go through these things.” Clooney shouted “Look at me!” and the president replied: “I like that in you, brother.”

Obama was also applauded as he spoke about his decision to endorse gay marriage earlier in the week. He said: “The truth is it was a logical extension of what America is supposed to be.” If he had been in any doubt how the move was received among his financial cronies in Hollywood, on his way to dinner his motorcade passed a sign on a mansion reading “Yay Gay.”

The president then joked about the iconic “Hope” poster that became the emblem of the 2008 campaign which hangs proudly displayed in Clooney’s house. Obama explained how it was based on a photo of him and Clooney at an event for the “humanitarian crisis in Darfur.” “This is the first time that George Clooney has actually been photo shopped out of a picture,” the president lamented. “Never happened before, will never happen again.”

Funny, right? There was just one problem. Obama was again misrepresenting the facts.

The photo was stolen from the Associated Press. “In fact, the artist who created the poster, Shepard Fairey, used another photograph of Obama but said he relied on the Obama-Clooney picture to avoid a copyright infringement case with The Associated Press. He pleaded guilty to criminal contempt for fabricating and destroying evidence.”

Obama’s Clooney suck-up joke got lots of laughs. Too bad nobody fact-checked it first. Just more proof that our brilliant president is absolutely lost without his teleprompter. Don’t hold your breath waiting for the comedy guys to jump all over this. Way too much comedy fodder.

I’m sure Obama made points with Gorgie Porgie and his friends for coming “out on gay marriage”. The after party scene must have been quite some sight. Not to add to the nightmare, but you would be shocked at how prevalent homosexuality and pedophilia is in Hollywood. That undoubtedly is the epicenter of the hypocritical “gay and lesbian” community. And our President bows at their alter.

To be fair with the community organizer, Obama doesn’t need to tell jokes, his whole life has been one. The only time that I actually like hearing Obama speak, is when he hasn’t got a teleprompter. He then sounds like the “clueless joker” that he is.

I am wondering how long it will take before Obama weans off the titty of his bourgeoisie artsy-fartsy friends?

Gotta love Obama’s artsy fartsy friends

Chef Obama

President Barack Obama wears many hats: TV personality, best-selling author and inspirational teleprompter communicator. And now “Chef Obama” has released his new, nationwide inspired recipe cookbook “101 Ways to Wok Your Dog” to share his exotic food tastes with the American public.

As the president continues to explore every corner of the globe collecting delicious dog recipes here are some excerpts from his new cookbook:

Appetizers:

Beagle with Cream Cheese, Eggs Rover easy, Pug rolls, Pupperoni Pizza, Bassett Hound Cake, Yorkshire Pudding, Lox and Beagle, Chihuahua Tacos, Spicy Pointer Burritos, Buffalo Style Chihuahua Tights, Bassett Hound Sandwiches, Bulldog French Fries, Jack Russell Monterey Cheese, Rin Tin Tin Tartar Bites, Shrimp Al Finnish Spitz, Chinese Foo Dog Rolls, BBQ Beagle Brisket, Hush Puppy Waffles, Bernese Mountain Dog Dumplings, Prosciutto Spinone Italiano,

Soups & Stews:

Shiba Inu Stew, Chili Con Corgi, Chinese Crested Tofu, Shih Tzu Stew, Poodle Noodle Soup, Old fashioned Pekingese Stew, Alaskan Malamute Stew, Lhasa Apso Soup, Otterhound Meatball Soup, Norwegian Elkhound Gumbo Creole, Chow Chow Casserole,

Main Dishes:

Spaghetti with Mutt balls, Garlic mashed Saint Bernard, Pickled Pug Feet, Collie flower au gratin, Fried Golden Retriever, Weimaraner Schnitzel, Chihuahua Chimichanga, Spaniel Bolognese, Dog Collard Greens, Boston Terrier Casserole, Broiled Yellow Lab Tail, Slab of Lab, Poodles and Noodles, Grilled Wiener Schnauzer, Filet of Fido, Afghan Hound Shish Kebabs, Terrier Tetrazzini, BBQ Pit Bull Ribs, Jack Russell Sprouts, Bichon Frise Fricassee, Round of Ibizan Hound, Leg of Lassie, Snippet of Whippet, Fettuccine al Italian Greyhound, Siberian Husky Fillet, Shar-Pei, Cotlettes, German Shepherd Pot Pie, Irish Wolfhound Wieners, Rottweiler Ravioli, Ground Harrier Beef Patties, Tibetan Mastiff Spam, Great Dane Baloney, Roasted Clumber Spaniel, Marinated Shetland Sheepdog, Boiled Dachshund Cutlets, Maltese T-Bone Steak, Greyhound Poupon Tenderloins, Baked Affenpinscher, Stuffed Chinese Shar-pei, Canaan Meat Loaf, Curried Japanese Chin, Baked Stuffed Kuvasz, Mommas Fried Havanese, Cajun Coonhound, Samoyed Rib Eye, German Pinscher Rouladen, Pomeranian Prime Rib, Sautéed Zucchini Saluki,

Desserts:

Rin Tin Tin Woof Ice Cream, Tibetan Terrier Pastry Tarts, Great Pyrenees Pastries, Puppy Carrot Cake, Chocolate Lab Soufflé, Flavored Pupcicles Cookies, Frosted Pup Tarts, Yummy Mango Lassie, Yorkshire Pudding, Staffordshire Bull Terrier Tiramisu, Cocker Spaniel Mousse, Chocolate Chip cookies, Golden Retriever Strudel, Newfoundland Malts, Rhodesian Ridgeback Cobblers,

For those who are in a hurry and don’t have time to cook, “Chef Obama” suggests his favored 4-course meal: Beagle with Lox and Cream Cheese, Juicy Dalmatian Porterhouse Steak, Collie flower au gratin and German Shepherd Pie.

Chef Obama released today the menu for the upcoming November election dinner event at the White House. Main course will consist of juicy rare English Cocker Spaniel hind legs with pineapple compote in honor of Obama’s Hawaiian roots or a hearty Alaskan Malamute stew as homage to Sarah Palin, who apparently likes to bag her own moose for her robust stew.

For the dignitaries and journalists who are invited to attend but prefer BBQ smoked Australian Cattle Dog ribs they should let the White House know in advance so that they can be flown into Washington DC in a timely fashion and served fresh.

For those supporters who are planning an “election night” home party, there are plenty of ideas for nibbles, bites or full course meals to get you through the long, suspenseful evening whether you’re leaning red, blue or purple. Go for foods from Obama’s home country or choose whatever you love to eat yourselves. It’ll be an interesting buffet of politically charged dishes that guests can have some fun with.

Be sure to bring some red and blue food color dyed Boxer cookies with you and eat one when a red state wins, the other for a blue state as long as the elections keeps going. A swig of some bright purple Papillon juice or Green Irish Setter chaser shots are also in order to compliment the tasty food menus. Above are some of Chef Obama’s recipe ideas for your November 4^th entertaining party. Maybe cooking your candidate’s favorite foods will bring them good luck!

Chef Obama invited George Clooney recently for dinner, and now Clooney is returning the favor by hosting a 150-seat, $40,000-a-plate fundraising “Indonesian Rijsttafel” dinner at his home in California. The elaborate meal will consists of more than forty unusual dishes served in small portions, accompanied by rice prepared in several different ways.

Popular dishes on the menu include Chinese Crested Rolls, Sambal Marinated Borzoi, Skewered Satay Briard, Steak Daging Sapi Ala Jawa, Semur Daging, Rendang Daging Sapi, Pickled Gulai Sapi, Dendeng Balado and Kalio Daging which undoubtedly will impress invited Hollywood donors and activists with the exotic abundance of Chef Obama’s former culinary colony.

Not only can they enjoy a wide array of dishes at a single setting and taste the many flavors, colors and degrees of spiciness but also textures; an aspect that is not commonly discussed in Western food. Such textures may include crispy, chewy, slippery, soft, hard, velvety, gelatinous, smelly and runny.

For those readers who don’t know how to cook dog meat Chef Obama brought back above video from his recent visit to China which will give you clear and detailed instructions. It’s in Chinese with English subtitles so do not worry and watch it in its entire length at your convenience.

When the president quizzed his Chinese hosts if they also eat dogs he was told that Chinese eat everything with four legs, except the table, and everything that flies, except the airplane. Moreover, in view of the “negative trade balance” China offered to supply Chef Obama with unlimited dogs of all breeds to satisfy his craving appetite.

Why anyone ever wants to admit eating dog like it is some “Badge of Honor” is behind my comprehension. It is like “cannibalism” if you ask me. Now I understand why it took 3 months to pick what “flavor dog” Obama wanted at the White House.

Here are some dog anecdotes overheard on the street:

What does Obama call a dog riding on the roof of a car? “Fast Food.” What does Barack Obama call a dog show? “An International Buffet.” Why did Romney put the dog on top of the car? “So that Obama wouldn’t eat it”. Why did Obama named his dog Bo after his own initials. “It stands for Banquet Offering.” If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. “If you want a dog in Washington, keep it away from Obama.” What does Obama do when his dog gets stuck? “Grab a toothpick.” Under Clinton it was “wag the dog”. Under Obama it’s “wok the dog”. Obama’s new re-election hope for America “A puppy on every plate, a leash on every citizen.” What does Barack Obama say when the meal’s over? “Dog gone.” Obama is now referring to Romney putting the dog on the roof as “Meals on Wheels.” What do you call a dog wagging his tail in the White House? “A happy meal.”

“Scuse me Joe, You gonna finish those hush puppies?”