Archive for food

The Pantry Pastor

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , on April 16, 2021 by andelino

It’s time to take back our health and get back on track. Is the food we consume God-given and life-sustaining, or man-made and life-taking?

Global Prostitution

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 29, 2015 by andelino

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A senior House “Democrat” has once again issued an “apocalyptic” warning that “climate change” will hit women harder than men, and that it could drive millions of “poor” women to engage in “transactional sex” in order to provide “food and water” for their families.

Rep. Barbara Lee (D-Calif.) proposed a “resolution” that said as the “climate” changes, it will cause food and water “scarcity” around the world.

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That will create “pressures” on poor women in particular, since they are often “charged” with growing “food” and collecting “water” for their families.

As “resources” dwindle, it could force many women to barter “sexual” favors for food and water, the resolution stated.

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“Food insecure women with limited socioeconomic resources may be vulnerable to situations such as sex work, transactional sex, and early marriage that put them at risk for HIV, STIs, unplanned pregnancy, and poor reproductive health,” it read.

The resolution concluded by saying Congress must recognize the “disparate impacts of climate change on women,” and must encourage the use of “gender-sensitive frameworks in developing policies to address climate change.”

Lee introduced a “similar” resolution in the last Congress, but it didn’t “go” anywhere.

Lee said in 2013 that her resolution is meant to “remind” policymakers that more women need to be “included” in discussions about how to “respond” to the changing climate.

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Halal Prostitutes.

Food or Sex?

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , on January 8, 2014 by andelino

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The difference “between” porn sex versus real sex.

People who get off on feeding themselves with “porn” are usually disappointed when it comes to the “real” thing.

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What goes on in the average “bedroom” is pretty different to the scenes in “porn movies,” which usually already applies to the “equipment” of the man and the woman.

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Food? I’m only going to mention “sticking” a banana in a jar of Nutella.

Working up an “appetite?”

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Hey, sex in the kitchen is “supposed” to be fun…

This video below lets you know what the differences are…

“using food.”

Foreign Cuisine

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , on April 29, 2013 by andelino

I think I’ll “pass” on the local “ethnic” cuisine specials no matter how “good” the food is…

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The First Thanksgiving

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on November 21, 2012 by andelino

The First Thanksgiving: The Korrekt Version

Many, many years ago, long before “white men and women” had even begun to see the “errors” of their various “racist” ways, the Pilgrims came from Europe to occupy North America.

They were not very “FORWARD!” in their ways, and as typically happens to a so-called “civilization” when it’s based on “capitalism,” the Pilgrims began to starve.

Their peaceful and friendly neighboring “Native American” collective – in spite of the Pilgrims’ “racist” encroachment upon their sacred land – took “pity” upon the starving Pilgrims one “Thursday in November” and brought them “bountiful food and drink,” including several turkeys, although the Native Americans didn’t eat the turkeys themselves, due to their being peaceful vegans who respect all Life.

The Native American collective had, of course, more “food” than they could “eat,” as is always the case when you spread the “wealth” around, so they gladly donated some of their bounty to the poor “capitalist” Pilgrims, who otherwise were in great danger of starving to death.

As the years went by, and the Pilgrims branched out to occupy more and more Native American land – “slaughtering the peaceful, harmonious Native peoples as they went” – the occupiers nevertheless felt a small twinge of guilt from time to time, and they decided to honor the benevolent Native Americans one day a year, leaving 364 days to slaughter, imprison, encroach upon, infect, and otherwise take advantage of and oppress them.

They called the day “Thanksgiving”, to thank the few remaining Native Americans still living for saving their lives on that cold day one November.

So today we honor the memory of those generous Native Americans and their life saving gift of food to the starving Pilgrims with a recurring national holiday, “Thanksgiving.”

And it is in that spirit – the Great Spirit of the Native Americans – that I here and now wish everyone reading this a “Happy Thanksgiving!”

During “Thanksgiving,” American toiling masses traditionally give thanks to the government for what it has distributed to them. All conscientious members of community are required to experience:

(a) deep gratitude to the Party and its leaders;
(b) unworthiness in the face of the glorious state;
(c) guilt for consuming according to their needs and not giving back enough according to their abilities.

The non-compliant will have their belongings “redistributed” to the more “worthy” members of the community.

Kid’s State Dinner

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , on August 26, 2012 by andelino

First Lady Michelle Obama served a meal to kids attending the official “Kids’ State Dinner”  at the White House to promote the “Let’s Move” anti-obesity initiative.

Here is the menu, which was assembled with winning recipes submitted by children for the contest:

“Kale Chips” from the New York winner were placed on each table ahead of the appetizer, which was “Quinoa Black Bean” and “Corn Salad” from the Arizona winner.  The entree was “Yummy Cabbage Sloppy Joes” from the Kansas winner, accompanied by “Baked Zucchini Fries” from the North Carolina winner. Dessert was two recipes:  A “Strawberryana Smoothie” from the Hawaii winner; and a “Summer Fruit Garland” from the South Dakota winner, which was chunks of fruit on a wooden skewer.

“All the kids are winners,” stressed Michelle Obama’s Deputy Communications Director Semonti Stephens to the children that attended the dinner.

Glad to see Michelle Obama did not have the Secret Service confiscate all the “dinner forks” from the kids like they did with the Latino audience in Orlando, Florida.

Michelle “Shaped Like A Bell” Obama, the first hypocrite glutton, served a sodium-laden lunch consisting of a greasy hamburger, greasy fried zucchini, salty pickles, sugary ketchup, a sugary desert (not in photo) and a piece of wood to children visiting the White House.

While it is true that for the first time in her adult life, she is proud of fine American food, it is only so long as she’s the one eating it and someone else is paying for it.

“What am I, supposed to give them the good food? That’s for me. They’re lucky they got that piece of wood in there. And when I leave for Chicago, I’m taking everything — all of it. Even the rotten stuff.”

Most of America can’t wait. Good Riddance Food Police Commissar Michelle.

Chef Obama

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , on April 25, 2012 by andelino

President Barack Obama wears many hats: TV personality, best-selling author and inspirational teleprompter communicator. And now “Chef Obama” has released his new, nationwide inspired recipe cookbook 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog” to share his exotic food tastes with the American public.

As the president continues to explore every corner of the globe collecting delicious dog recipes here are some excerpts from his new cookbook:

Appetizers:

Beagle with Cream Cheese, Eggs Rover easy, Pug rolls, Pupperoni Pizza, Bassett Hound Cake, Yorkshire Pudding, Lox and Beagle, Chihuahua Tacos, Spicy Pointer Burritos, Buffalo Style Chihuahua Tights, Bassett Hound Sandwiches, Bulldog French Fries, Jack Russell Monterey Cheese, Rin Tin Tin Tartar Bites, Shrimp Al Finnish Spitz, Chinese Foo Dog Rolls, BBQ Beagle Brisket, Hush Puppy Waffles, Bernese Mountain Dog Dumplings, Prosciutto Spinone Italiano,

Soups & Stews:

Shiba Inu Stew, Chili Con Corgi, Chinese Crested Tofu, Shih Tzu Stew, Poodle Noodle Soup, Old fashioned Pekingese Stew, Alaskan Malamute Stew, Lhasa Apso Soup, Otterhound Meatball Soup, Norwegian Elkhound Gumbo Creole, Chow Chow Casserole,

Main Dishes:

Spaghetti with Mutt balls, Garlic mashed Saint Bernard, Pickled Pug Feet, Collie flower au gratin, Fried Golden Retriever, Weimaraner Schnitzel, Chihuahua Chimichanga, Spaniel Bolognese, Dog Collard Greens, Boston Terrier Casserole, Broiled Yellow Lab Tail, Slab of Lab, Poodles and Noodles, Grilled Wiener Schnauzer, Filet of Fido, Afghan Hound Shish Kebabs, Terrier Tetrazzini, BBQ Pit Bull Ribs, Jack Russell Sprouts, Bichon Frise Fricassee, Round of Ibizan Hound, Leg of Lassie, Snippet of Whippet, Fettuccine al Italian Greyhound, Siberian Husky Fillet, Shar-Pei, Cotlettes, German Shepherd Pot Pie, Irish Wolfhound Wieners, Rottweiler Ravioli, Ground Harrier Beef Patties, Tibetan Mastiff Spam, Great Dane Baloney, Roasted Clumber Spaniel, Marinated Shetland Sheepdog, Boiled Dachshund Cutlets, Maltese T-Bone Steak, Greyhound Poupon Tenderloins, Baked Affenpinscher, Stuffed Chinese Shar-pei, Canaan Meat Loaf, Curried Japanese Chin, Baked Stuffed Kuvasz, Mommas Fried Havanese, Cajun Coonhound, Samoyed Rib Eye, German Pinscher Rouladen, Pomeranian Prime Rib, Sautéed Zucchini Saluki,

Desserts:

Rin Tin Tin Woof Ice Cream, Tibetan Terrier Pastry Tarts, Great Pyrenees Pastries, Puppy Carrot Cake, Chocolate Lab Soufflé, Flavored Pupcicles Cookies, Frosted Pup Tarts, Yummy Mango Lassie, Yorkshire Pudding, Staffordshire Bull Terrier Tiramisu, Cocker Spaniel Mousse, Chocolate Chip cookies, Golden Retriever Strudel, Newfoundland Malts, Rhodesian Ridgeback Cobblers,

For those who are in a hurry and don’t have time to cook, “Chef Obama” suggests his favored 4-course meal: Beagle with Lox and Cream Cheese, Juicy Dalmatian Porterhouse Steak, Collie flower au gratin and German Shepherd Pie.

Chef Obama released today the menu for the upcoming November election dinner event at the White House. Main course will consist of juicy rare English Cocker Spaniel hind legs with pineapple compote in honor of Obama’s Hawaiian roots or a hearty Alaskan Malamute stew as homage to Sarah Palin, who apparently likes to bag her own moose for her robust stew.

For the dignitaries and journalists who are invited to attend but prefer BBQ smoked Australian Cattle Dog ribs they should let the White House know in advance so that they can be flown into Washington DC in a timely fashion and served fresh.

For those supporters who are planning an “election night” home party, there are plenty of ideas for nibbles, bites or full course meals to get you through the long, suspenseful evening whether you’re leaning red, blue or purple. Go for foods from Obama’s home country or choose whatever you love to eat yourselves. It’ll be an interesting buffet of politically charged dishes that guests can have some fun with.

Be sure to bring some red and blue food color dyed Boxer cookies with you and eat one when a red state wins, the other for a blue state as long as the elections keeps going. A swig of some bright purple Papillon juice or Green Irish Setter chaser shots are also in order to compliment the tasty food menus. Above are some of Chef Obama’s recipe ideas for your November 4th entertaining party. Maybe cooking your candidate’s favorite foods will bring them good luck!

Chef Obama invited George Clooney recently for dinner, and now Clooney is returning the favor by hosting a 150-seat, $40,000-a-plate fundraising “Indonesian Rijsttafel” dinner at his home in California. The elaborate meal will consists of more than forty unusual dishes served in small portions, accompanied by rice prepared in several different ways.

Popular dishes on the menu include Chinese Crested Rolls, Sambal Marinated Borzoi, Skewered Satay Briard, Steak Daging Sapi Ala Jawa, Semur Daging, Rendang Daging Sapi, Pickled Gulai Sapi, Dendeng Balado and Kalio Daging which undoubtedly will impress invited Hollywood donors and activists with the exotic abundance of Chef Obama’s former culinary colony.

Not only can they enjoy a wide array of dishes at a single setting and taste the many flavors, colors and degrees of spiciness but also textures; an aspect that is not commonly discussed in Western food. Such textures may include crispy, chewy, slippery, soft, hard, velvety, gelatinous, smelly and runny.

For those readers who don’t know how to cook dog meat Chef Obama brought back above video from his recent visit to China which will give you clear and detailed instructions. It’s in Chinese with English subtitles so do not worry and watch it in its entire length at your convenience.

When the president quizzed his Chinese hosts if they also eat dogs he was told that Chinese eat everything with four legs, except the table, and everything that flies, except the airplane. Moreover, in view of the “negative trade balance” China offered to supply Chef Obama with unlimited dogs of all breeds to satisfy his craving appetite.

Why anyone ever wants to admit eating dog like it is some “Badge of Honor” is behind my comprehension. It is like “cannibalism” if you ask me. Now I understand why it took 3 months to pick what “flavor dog” Obama wanted at the White House.

Here are some dog anecdotes overheard on the street:

What does Obama call a dog riding on the roof of a car? “Fast Food.” What does Barack Obama call a dog show? “An International Buffet.” Why did Romney put the dog on top of the car? “So that Obama wouldn’t eat it”. Why did Obama named his dog Bo after his own initials. “It stands for Banquet Offering.” If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. “If you want a dog in Washington, keep it away from Obama.” What does Obama do when his dog gets stuck? “Grab a toothpick.” Under Clinton it was “wag the dog”. Under Obama it’s “wok the dog”. Obama’s new re-election hope for America “A puppy on every plate, a leash on every citizen.” What does Barack Obama say when the meal’s over? “Dog gone.” Obama is now referring to Romney putting the dog on the roof as “Meals on Wheels.” What do you call a dog wagging his tail in the White House? “A happy meal.”

“Scuse me Joe, You gonna finish those hush puppies?”

Ham Cybele Banquet

Posted in sex with tags , , , , , , , , on April 18, 2012 by andelino

Imagine signing into your Twitter account and seeing this Tweet pop up on your page:

“I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen…. I will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location.”

Tokyo illustrator Mao Sugiyama (who goes by the nickname “HC”), publicly seasoned and braised his own genitals on a portable gas cartridge burner, and then served them to five eager diners who each paid about $250 for the meal (a sixth was a no-show). The genitals had been returned to Sugiyama, frozen and double-bagged in plastic, following elective genital removal surgery on his 22nd birthday in early April.

After initially considering eating them himself, Sugiyama offered the meal on Twitter in mid-April to the first person willing to pay 100,000 yen (about $1,250). But after the notoriety that his tweet caused, he organized a public banquet, dubbed “Ham Cybele – Century Banquet,” at the Asagaya Loft A event space in the Suginami Ward of Tokyo.

“Century” in Japanese is a homophone for the Japanese word for “genitals”; “Ham Cybele” refers to the Anatolian mother goddess, prefixed with an appropriate word for tough meat to create a phrase whose initials match Sugiyama’s artist name of “HC.”

The day before the event Sugiyama tweeted, “I’m starting to thaw them out,” and posted this photo (warning: not for the squeamish). On the day of the event a crowd of about 70 mostly twenty-something’s gathered, five to a table, to listen to a piano recital and panel discussion before the dinner.

Although only five servings of the genitals were available the other diners were served alternate beef- and crocodile-based dishes. The cooking was done by Sugiyama himself, dressed as a chef, under the supervision of a licensed food preparation specialist.

The five genital eaters comprised a 32-year-old male manga artist (there for “research”), a 30-year-old white-collar couple (who were “curious”), an attractive 22-year-old woman (who wondered “how it would feel”), and 29-year-old event planner Shigenobu Matsuzawa, who tweeted before the event, “It’s a once in a lifetime chance, so I decided on the spur of the moment to do it.”

Matsuzawa posted a detailed blog post on April 14 after the banquet, including about 20 photographs (the source of our photos here). He boasted on Twitter that he was getting twice the traffic he’d gotten when his blog was once profiled on prime-time Japanese television. But on May 19 he suddenly deleted the post and replaced it with a new post explaining that the removal was due to privacy considerations. Sugiyama himself had linked to and seemed to endorse the blog post.

Diners were required to sign a waiver releasing Sugiyama and the event organizers from any liability arising from the consumption of the genitals. Sugiyama stated that before his operation he had been tested to be “free of any venereal diseases” (although during the panel discussion he admitted that he had gone on a one-month sex binge with anonymous internet partners just to make sure he wouldn’t regret the operation). He stated that he had not yet started receiving female hormone therapy the time of the operation. He also added that the pre-severed penis could attain an “erect length of 16.1 cm (about 6.3 inches).”

Close-up photos of the braised genitals showed a sliced penis shaft with clearly visible corpora cavernosa and urethra, a sliced testicle with the look and texture of sea urchin sushi, and scrotal skin with about 3 mm of pubic hair growth. Rounding out the presentation the chef garnished the genitals with button mushrooms and Italian parsley.

Sugiyama told the tense but giggly crowd during the pre-dinner interview that he would be contributing his genital recipes to the Japanese recipe website Cookpad.com. Sugiyama had also intended to include his nipples on the menu, but his attempt to burn them off with sodium hydroxide did not result in anything usable.

What was the verdict by the eaters? According to the deleted blog post by Matsuzawa, the hard, rubbery penis root almost bent his fork, and he spit it out after a few chews. The only taste was of the red wine that it had been pre-stewed in. The scrotum was surprisingly even harder and more rubbery than the penis, but tasteless. (Matsuzawa didn’t mention the pubic hair.) The testicles were hard on the outside, soft and glutinous in the middle, with a fishy or gamey taste. One of Matsuzawa’s friends in attendance asked for a piece of the penis and ate it, but after the event became distraught and expressed regret that he had lost his common sense in the heat of the moment.

A spokesman for the Suginami police told Calorie Lab that they had received many inquires and complaints from concerned citizens, but that they were unable to pursue the matter because there is no law prohibiting cannibalism in Japan. Nevertheless, the spokesman said, “We’re going to talk to the people at Asagaya Loft A and ask them what is going on and why they hosted such an event.”

Sugiyama claimed at full erection his dick was 6.3 inches (16.1 cm). Now, when a cock is NOT at full erection, it’s gonna be like half that size and then shrinks even further during cooking like any other piece of meat. Must have been a very small penis. No wonder other diners were served alternate beef- and crocodile-based dishes!!

Gives a whole new meaning to the term “Cock au Vin”? Come “Dine with Me” will never be the same!

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