Archive for exit questionnaire

How To Retire

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2017 by andelino


Michael Stuban, a “mid-level” manager at the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission, “retired” on Thanksgiving after a 35-year career that started in a “tollbooth.”

But before he left, Stuban filled out his “exit questionnaire” with what he described as “brutal” honesty. Let’s just say he didn’t give his bosses an “E-ZPass.”


Stuban blasted the “out of touch” executive-level managers who are “only looking out for themselves” and are running a “rudderless” agency that hires “incompetents” based on political connections.

Stuban, 58, wrote that he actually “liked” his job and didn’t “want” to retire yet, but that the last five years at the commission had been “terrible,” with “no morale” among workers.

“Giving us classes where we are being told we are not political. That’s bullshit. Jobs/Promotions are filled by the politicians, it’s who you know, not what you know. Positions created for people who are not qualified.”

That’s just “one” example. But it “gets” better.

Stuban, who “hails” from a small borough in Western Pennsylvania, sent the “email” not just to the HR department, but to “everyone” at the Turnpike Commission, more than “2,000 employees.”

Basically, the email equivalent of that scene in “Half Baked” where the guy “quits his job” at the burger joint.

“Want to get away? Southwest is offering great fares . . . “ one Turnpike Commission employee replied-all to Stuban’s email, “referencing” the airline’s commercials.

“Next up” was former State Sen. Sean Logan, chairman of the Turnpike Commission, who apparently didn’t find “any of this funny.”

He hit the reply-all button and wrote: “Mr. Stuban . . . I don’t believe we ever met, and after reading your Exit Questionnaire, I am grateful that we didn’t.”


We called Stuban at his “home” along the Ohio River in Beaver County. It sounded like he was “smiling” on the other end.

“When they asked for an honest exit interview, I gave them one,” Stuban said, chuckling occasionally. “I sent it minutes before I officially retired.”


Stuban, who was an “interchange” manager at the commission, said his former colleagues told him about Logan’s “icy” reply.

“He did miss the point,” Stuban said. “If it was an effective company and someone told you there are problems and no morale, you don’t have to believe me, but maybe someone should check into it.”

One of the biggest “problems” at the agency, Stuban said, is “political” patronage. He said relatives of “powerful” people get hired “regardless” of their qualifications.

“They hire a lot of people that are dumb as rocks,” he said.


We emailed Logan but didn’t “hear” back. As for Stuban, he sounds like he’ll be “just fine.” He plans to do some “traveling,” catch up on “projects” around the house and “volunteer” at his church.

“I’m staying active in the community,” he said.


That’s how it’s “done” folks.

Rattle “everybody” on your way out and tell them how you “really” feel, let out all “frustration” you’ve had “pent up” for years and years.

Not good to “keep” it all inside, any therapist will tell you that. Way more “therapeutic” to tell your bosses how you “feel as you head off to your twilight years.”

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