Charity Fight of the Year

Boxing great Evander Holyfield has agreed to “fight” former Massachusetts governor and 2012 United States presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

Forget about Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather, the “real fight of the century” is scheduled for May 15th when Mitt Romney enters the ring to “battle” Evander Holyfield in Salt Lake City.

Yes, you read that right.

Romney, the former Massachusetts governor, and Holyfield, the five-time heavyweight titleholder who “smacked” around the likes of Mike Tyson and George Foreman, are going to “lace” up gloves and “duke” it out in a “charity” exhibition.

They will raise funds for Charity Vision, which operates to “donate” medical equipment to doctors and medical facilities in areas of the world “affected” by poverty to carry out “eye” operations.

However, Romney has no “delusions” about actually winning this contest. “It will either be a very short fight, or I will be knocked unconscious,” Romney told the Salt Lake City Tribune.

“It won’t be much of a ‘real deal’ fight. We’ll both suit up and get in the ring and spar around a little bit.”

Romney, the 68-year-old “entered” two months of training for the fight, hoping not to “embarrass” himself. He has never “boxed” before, though he is a fan of the sport.

“We just thought it would be a lot better to provide this kind of entertainment rather than just have dinner and listen to speakers,” Romney said of the 1920’s gala styled-event that will also “feature” professional fights.

The 52-year-old Holyfield’s “last” professional fight was in 2011, a points “victory” over Brian Nielsen that took his career record to “44 wins, 10 losses and two draws.”

Some have called this the most highly “anticipated” fight in boxing history. When it was “announced” a couple months ago that former Presidential nominee Mitt Romney would be “stepping” into the ring with former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield, people didn’t really “know what to expect.”

If this stare down is any indication, Mitt Romney is going to knock the living daylights out of Evander Holyfield.

But after months of training and some “back-and-forth jaw jackin’,” the time has finally come. And by the looks of this “stare” down, Mitt ain’t “scared” of anything.

Romney promised to play “nice” in a nod to Holyfield’s notorious 1997 brawl in which Mike Tyson “bit” off part of Holyfield’s ear.

“You’ve heard my critics say that I’m out of touch, that I’m stiff, that I just don’t relate to people,” the mild-mannered Romney said.

“For years, I’ve been listening to garbage like that, and I’ve decided to fight back. How do you do that? By taking on the former heavyweight champion of the world,” Romney says, brandishing his mitt-encased fists.

Romney jests that he may not have much of a right hook, but “when I get somebody’s ear, I can be pretty formidable.”

Tough talk aside, Romney has said he just “hopes” the hulking ex-champ will go “easy” on him.

The “pugilists” weighed in and shared a classic “stare down” ahead of their bout at Salt Lake City’s Rail Event Center.

Holyfield, 52, “tipped” the scales at 236 pounds, while Romney, who “kidded” that the fight will give spectators a gander at his “bird legs”, weighed in at a “trim” 179.

Romney “indicated” that if his match with Holyfield goes well, he’s “ready” to take on Senate Minority Leader, and former “amateur” boxer, Harry Reid next.

Romney already “lost the fight of his life” in 2012. So right now, he’s a man with “nothing” left to lose. That’s “extremely” dangerous.

When you break down the “tale of the tape,” everything is in Holyfield’s advantage. But I’m a big believer in heart, and that’s where Romney “wins” this heavyweight bout.

I know Mitt has gone out and said that he isn’t “running” in 2016, but I don’t think he has a “choice” if he goes out there and “KO’s” Evander Holyfield tonight.

Would actually just be a “waste” of time to hold the “election” at that point. Just let Mitt “move” in to Pennsylvania Avenue and “save” Hillary the embarrassment.

Mitt Romney “lasted” 2 rounds against Evander Holyfield in the “charity” boxing match .

Romney and Holyfield “sparred” for just two short rounds before Romney “ran away” from the boxer and “threw” in the towel.

The two “barely” threw any punches and largely just “danced” around, occasionally lightly “jabbing” each other in the midsection.

The black-tie affair “raised” money for the Utah-based organization “Charity Vision,” which helps doctors in developing countries perform surgeries to “restore” vision in people with “curable” blindness.