Archive for barry obama

Renaming Body Parts

Posted in uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on February 24, 2020 by andelino

The Human Rights Campaign Foundation has published a “Safer Sex for Trans Bodies” guide, and the folks at the foundation have decided to “rename” male and female genitalia.

It seems that women who were born female with a “Vagina” are now said to have a “Front Hole” while trans-women who have had the “Penis” removed by surgery are now proclaimed to have a “Vagina.”

The Human Rights Campaign Foundation’s guide also has tips on masturbation, a section titled, “SCREWING, SHAGGING OR MATTRESS DANCING,” and one on safe sex “without barriers.”

Here are two tweets by women who are now said to have “Front Holes” on this subject.

For clarification purpose only, please note that “Back Hole” or “Pie Hole” are body parts exclusively reserved for gays like Anderson Cooper, Don Lemon, Pete Buttigieg and Bathhouse Barry Obama, just to mention a few.

Greatest Love Letters

Posted in sex with tags , , , on December 3, 2015 by andelino

Greatest Love Letters 02

Engagement Proposal

Engaged 01

Dear Meredith,

I just recently got engaged. My fiancée did not accept my proposal with great enthusiasm. She has only told immediate family of the engagement. She has not told any of her male “friends.” When I am away, I have noticed she talks to these other male “friends” more often. I have confronted her about it and she says they are just friends and that she loves me and she doesn’t want anyone else. So I am very confused.

Should I call off the engagement and move on with my life, or should I stay and see if she really does love me? Also, what should I think about her male friends? Should I be concerned?

Engaged

Meredith Hoss Goldstein’s Answer

There’s a lot missing from this letter. You didn’t tell us how she knows these “friends” and how often she sees them. You didn’t tell us whether you know these men, or if she keeps you out of the loop when it comes to the rest of her personal life. Instead of focusing on gender, think about what she gets from these people and how they fit into her world. If the only disturbing thing about them is that they’re male, let it go. People are allowed to have friends.

What concerns me more about your letter is the engagement. Her tepid reaction doesn’t have to mean much (not everyone swoons over a proposal), but your reaction to that tepidness makes it clear you’re not confident about this relationship. Stop thinking about how she said yes, and talk to her about how she sees your life together.

Meredith

Greatest Love Letters 01

Barry Obama Answer

Dear Engaged,

Let me state this clearly and for the record. You fiancée is disgusted by you. I’m disgusted by you. You’re a spineless jellyfish and she knows it and I know it and you know it. She’s obviously intimate with her guy friends. There is no such thing as platonic friends. The only reason a guy is friends with a chick is to have sex with her. That’s it. So that’s why when you go away she talks to dudes more because she’s screwing them more. It’s not rocket science.

But honestly I didn’t even need to hear this sob story about her guy friends blah, blah, blah. I knew your fiancée hated you the second you said she did not accept your proposal with great enthusiasm. Boom, case closed. It’s a known fact every chick dreams about the day she gets proposed to. It may be bigger than her actual wedding day. You don’t even have to do some grand proposal either. Chicks will cry and freak and turn to mush no matter what you do. Unless of course they hate you and don’t want to get married and think they can do better and don’t want to be stuck with your limp dick the rest of their lives which is exactly what your girlfriend thinks of you. But on the flip side you’re such a pussy I doubt you could do any better so you might as well just hold on for as long as you can and live with your head stuck in the sand.

Yours truly,
Barry Obama

Engaged 02

Greatest Love Letters

Posted in sex with tags , , on September 28, 2015 by andelino

Greatest Love Letters 02

Ménage à Trois

Ménage à Trois 01

Dear Meredith,

About eight months ago, during a slump in our 23-year marriage, my husband and I partook in a ménage à trois. Not one to be prudish, I will admit to it being a fun, once-in-a-lifetime experience. This woman was a stranger to us both, which made it more comfortable for me. It definitely brought us closer together and at least temporarily, fixed a dry spell in our relationship.

My husband recently admitted that he has been in touch with this woman, and would like to “party” again with her. I feel like I opened Pandora’s box. While it was something I enjoyed, I didn’t expect it to become a repetitive thing. I did explain this to my husband and he said he understood, but he will still, occasionally, bring it up. I know he would never cheat and that’s not a concern, but I also feel like I am now depriving him a bit. So I guess my question is, is this something he will eventually get over?

Lingering in Lexington

Meredith Hoss Goldstein’s Answer

It sounds like your husband is bringing it up because he’s not sure about the rules. You say, “without a doubt, I’d rather this not become a more regular thing.” But what does that mean? Will it become an irregular thing? If so, how often? Was it really a once-in-a-lifetime experience? Sit down with your husband and come up with a set of guidelines for your experimentation. Make rules about who’s allowed to reach out to this woman and when. Talk about when, if ever, you might be open to this experience again.

Meredith

Greatest Love Letters 01

Barry Obama Answer

Dear Lingering in Lexington,

I’ve engaged in fetish areas a couple times. I’m for it. I encourage threesome activities. Once a guy pokes a girl he has carte blanch to continue to poke her until she doesn’t let him anymore. The only reason guys stop poking girls they’ve already poked is because the girl isn’t interested anymore. It doesn’t matter if it was a threesome, or whether it was a onetime deal. Once there is penetration that girl essentially becomes your property. So of course your husband is still talking to her. Of course he is still interested in poking her. You only move now is to keep having threesomes and hope you can out do this new chick.

Yours truly,
Barry Obama

Ménage à Trois 02

Kicked Out

Posted in sex with tags , , , on November 26, 2014 by andelino

Greatest Love Letters 02

Hard Fast 01

Dear Meredith,

I met “Jack” online and we’ve been seeing each other for about one month. I like him very much. We are both in our 30s and live in the city. All signs point to us having real relationship potential. We’ve been out several times, met some of each other’s friends, text each other every day, and occasionally talk on the phone to catch up. We both took down our profiles. Here’s what has me questioning whether I should ever see him again: Last night he had me over to his place for a home-cooked dinner and Netflix. Dinner was delicious and he did all the dishes — so romantic. We cuddled up together on the couch for a movie and he gave me a massage. Perfect date so far! Before the end of the movie, we go to his bedroom. That was great. Then, as we are lying in each other’s arms, he starts yawning and talking about how early he needs to get up for work the next day and how he is sure I also need to wake up early … and basically suggests that I should go home! He didn’t even walk me to the front door of his building. At 10:30 pm, I had to walk three blocks to the train to get home. I felt so stung. The next morning I still feel awful. If he knew he didn’t want me to stay over last night, I wish he had made that clear before I came over. Or had not hooked up with me. Or had at least been more considerate about the exit — he could have called me an Uber and walked me to the sidewalk.
So, finally, my question: Do I confront him in the hopes that this was some clueless oversight or do I block his number and give him the fade because he is clearly a cad and he made me feel cheap? Ever since I left his place I have been barely resisting the latter option. Please advise!

Kicked Out

Meredith “Hoss” Goldstein’s Answer

Dear Kicked Out,

He gets a pass on this one — for now. Not everyone assumes that sleepovers are cool on weeknights in the beginning of a relationship. And depending on where he lives, he might not have thought much of a walk to the train at 10:30 p.m. Yes, he should have escorted you to the front door. I bet you would have walked him to your front door or called him a car had he been at your place, but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt.

See him again and communicate. Let him know that you’re not into bedroom stuff if it means having to throw on clothes and run to the train 15 minutes later. Tell him that you’d rather be able to sleep over and relax.

Also do the mirroring thing. When he leaves your house late at night, offer to get him an Uber. Bring the chivalry and set an example. It was a weird night, but not everybody gets it right in the beginning.

Meredith “Hoss” Goldstein

Barack Obama Answer

Dear Kicked Out,

First things first. Nobody wants a chick to sleep over after sex. Hell, I don’t like sleeping in bed with my wife and we’re married. If it were up to me we’d sleep in separate rooms all the time sex or no sex. Sleeping with another person is the most made up artificial anti human thing in the world. Nobody likes doing it. So don’t take it personal he didn’t want you to sleep over. Nobody wants chicks to sleep over. Nobody.

But having said that this guy flat doesn’t like you. I mean if you really like a chick and you’re still in the honeymoon phase of a relationship you’ll cuddle and spoon and do all that other gross stuff till the cows come home just to make sure you can mate again and keep dating. Like how about setting your expectations a little higher than him calling an Uber for you? Are you really that ugly? I mean if he gave two shits about you he’d walk you home or have you stay over. It’s the first month of dating for Allah’s Sakes. So I don’t care what you do with this relationship but just know this guy isn’t in to you and has no intention of a long term relationship.

Yours Truly,
Barry Obama

Greatest Love Letters 01

%d bloggers like this: