The 23rd Palm

President Derelict Joe “Sniffy” Biden giving himself a face psalm. How fitting.

1) The Lord is like a shepherd. Hey, I got two shepherds, and one dropped a ball for me. and for me to grab the ball and go down the alleyway from the shower to my bed while I pulled on his tail a little, and that’s how I broke my foot.  And uh, I shall not want, you know, the thing.

2) And he maketh me lie down in green pastures. Hey, just like Jill makes me lie down for a nap at 10 in the morning after I call a lid on everything. He leadeth me beside the still waters. Just like that pool when I was a lifeguard and the kids would come up and rub my leg hairs. and that’s how i learned about black roaches.

3) He restoreth my soul. Hey, just like I’m gonna restore decency in America after those Neo Nazis at Charlottesville did that candle vigil with their bulging neck veins! And Trump said they were very fine people. C’mon Man!

4) Yeah, though I walk thru a valley where you run into thugs like Corn Pop, and he was a bad dude, I shall fear no evil. Cause I’m Scranton tough, man. You mess with me, I’ll meet you back of the shed and beat the hell out of you.

5) He prepareth for me the most extensive voter fraud organization, wait a minute, I didn’t mean to say that, I meant he sets a table for me in front of my enemies, for some reason. And then he does some other stuff, but I can’t remember just now. Are we done?

6) There’s one more thing? Surely allegations of vote fraud will dog me all the days. Whoops, there I go again. Surely a bunch of good things will follow me all the rest of my days. And I will dwell in my basement for what few years I have left. Just trolling you, dumb bastards.

That’s a big boot for such a little dick of a man.

Here is a picture of Joe reading the “Book of Palms.”

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