No Nerf Gun For Christmas

In a video posted online, a “social justice” Santa Grinch refused to let a little boy ask for a Nerf gun. “No, no guns,” the “woke” mall Santa told the crying boy. His mother, likely confused with the “outrage”, clarified that her son was asking for a “Nerf” gun. The fake Santa still refused…

“All this little patriot wanted for Christmas was a Nerf gun, and this anti-gun mall Santa chose to push his anti-freedom beliefs on this little boy and made him cry. This Santa had one job, and he failed miserably. Someone get this boy Nerf gun!” @whitehovse — NRA (@NRA) December 7, 2020

Got that? You can’t take your kids to sit across the table from Santa’s lap without a politically-driven, “anti-gun” lecture.

It is unclear when Nerf guns became banned, but perhaps it was only a matter of time. You have to now wonder what other toys are a “no-go” from woke Santa’s list?

By the way, what are the odds this miserable dressed up fake Santa got shot in the eye, crushed, and dunked on in a Nerf gun war during his childhood?

Nerf guns are great. Put them on your Christmas list. “You’ll still get it,” the cool mom told the crying boy seconds removed from finding out toy guns have been canceled.

I would have turned around and announced loudly to the line of kids “He’s not the real Santa! He’s a fake. This Santa thinks BLM riots are good and Nerf guns are evil.”

As non-insane Americans, we hope that the little boy, Michael, who was left in tears after a far left “fake” Santa lectured him on Nerf guns, gets a toy gun for Christmas. I am confident that his parents have taught him well and that he won’t shoot his eye out with Nerf darts.

His mother has since responded on Facebook:

“My poor baby. This was the first year Michael was excited to go see Santa. It was supposed to be magical but instead I had to watch my sweet little boy fight back tears because Santa told him no because of his own personal beliefs. I had to think fast and explain to him that this Santa was just a helper and not the real guy. I just wanted to console my baby and get him out of there, flipping out on Santa would have only made it worse. His Elfie is going to bring him a Nerf gun directly from the North Pole, from the real Santa, tonight.”

Luckily, The Blaze’s viral host Steven Crowder stepped in. On his YouTube page, which boasts a groundbreaking 5 million followers, Crowder dressed up as a Santa addressing Michael.

Crowder first apologized for the “unqualified helper,” ensuring he has “no association” with the “real” Santa.

 “That’s not the real Santa!” Crowder hilariously explained. “He’s what your parents will teach you about when you get older. He’s what we call a Communist. We had to get rid of them at the North Pole!”

Awesome. A win for Michael. A win for Crowder. Another loss for the miserable folks like that Santa, who probably did shoot himself in the eye with a Nerf gun when he was Michael’s age.

As always, get your kids Nerf guns for Christmas and enjoy time with your family while woke “Santa Grinch” sits alone watching “Sniffy” Joe Biden, Chris “Fredo” Cuomo, Cari Champion, Jemele Hill and Joy Reid on DVR.

Dear Woke Lame Ass Santa,
My name is Little Johnny. I am 13 years old.
I am hoping to qualify for my concealed carry license.
I am getting really good at the shooting range with my Mom and Dad, we go twice a week.
Can you please bring me a 9mm Glock 19? Gen5?
Maybe with a nice tricked out fast-access holster?
Oh and I’d really like a Glock G26, too, for ankle carry.
I will leave you some extra milk and cookies.
Just look for the nice house with our Lifetime NRA sticker on my dad’s truck.
Thank you and Merry Christmas!

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