Cyber Safety Czar

Jeff Bezos pictured back left with mask.

President-Elect Joe “Sniffy” Biden introduced his security team and discussed his plan to create a new position within the Department of Homeland Security called the “Cyber Safety Czar”, and planning to nominate Jeff Bezos to the position.

“It was an obvious choice with our plans to be able to gather information on all worshipers, family holiday celebrants, and non-mask wearers. It was a no-brainer, since most of Mr. Bezos’ software and hardware infrastructure is already in most people’s homes with Amazon Echo & Alexa Devices,” stated Biden.

An inside source who will remain anonymous provided the name for the planned operation to be unveiled in more detail in 2021 as Operation “Binary Information Gathering Before Republicans Or Trumpers Have Even Realized”, or (B.I.G. B.R.O.T.H.E.R.)

At the time this went to press, a whistleblower was reporting that it is all a “ruse” by Jeff Bezos to actually remove President Biden so that he can become the Supreme Leader and “marry” his longtime crush, Jill Biden.

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