Chinese Virus Songs

Long distance information, give me Harbin, Heliong Jing
Help me tell a party that I’m stuck in quarantine
She could not leave a number cause she feared they’d trace the call
But my cell mate took a code word and he wrote it on the wall

Help me information, get in touch with my Mai ling
She’s the only one who’d dare to call from Harbin, Heliong Jing
I’m bolted inside Wuhan, high above a ridge
Just a half a click from the Yangtze River Bridge

Last time I saw Mai Ling, she was screaming to me goodbye
With “Don’t you take my Daddy” drops that trickled from her eye
But we were pulled apart by the Bat Flu quarantine
And sent her to refugee camp in Harbin, Heilong Jing

Help me information, more than that I cannot add
Only that I’m short of breath from all the phlegm I have
Mai Ling is only six years old, oh information please
Tell her I wont be leaving soon to Harbin, Helion Jing

There’s a badass virus, bringing danger
Now everyone you see acts like a stranger
For only shopping’s sake another chance you take
Fauci says we won’t live to see tomorrow

Secret virus scam, secret virus scam
They’ve given it a number and COVID is its name

Beware of pretty faces that admire us
A pretty face can hide an evil virus
Ah, be careful what you spray
Stay at least six feet away
Odds are you won’t live to see tomorrow

Secret virus scam, secret virus scam
They’ve given it a number and COVID is its name

[INSTRUMENTAL INTERLUDE]

Secret virus scam, secret virus scam
They’ve given it a number and COVID is its name

Spreadin’ through the Wuhan Bat Market one day
And then seedin’ up the Bowery alleys next day
Oh no, you let the face mask slip
While kissing persuasive lips
The odds are you won’t live to see tomorrow

Secret virus scam, secret virus scam
They’ve given it a number and COVID is its name

[INSTRUMENTAL: ELECTRIC GUITAR]

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