Toilet Paper Rolls

A lot can be learned about a person by how they “wipe” themselves in regards to their personal “hygiene” practices, regardless of “race, income, education, gender, or age.” 

We sent our investigative reporter “disguised as a plumber” into the homes of each of the presidential candidates, past and current, to observe their “toilet” paper habits.

You might be surprised by what we discovered when they sit on the toilet, focusing on their “daily” duties. That is also the only place on earth where a guaranteed “equality of outcomes” is not just a utopian dream, but a “quantifiable” reality.

Obama’s personal rolls starts out with the words “We The People”.

Spotted in Amy Klobuchar’s home. Comes in handy when she is constipated.

Bernie Sanders home went the “New Green Deal” way needing no toilet paper.

Hillary Clinton has ordered a 10 year supply for Leavenworth, KS.

Nancy Pelosi shredded the SOTUS speech papers for her toilet supplies in the House chamber.

China’s President Xi Jinping uses beautiful calligraphy “paintings” on his rolls of toilet paper.

Not to be outdone, President Donald Trump has his own colorful three roll “Dump with Trump” toilet paper presidential gift pack. Whether you’re in the “White House or the Outhouse” this super-absorbent 3-ply toilet paper will make you feel like “dumping to make America great again.”

In this pack you’ll get three “different” rolls. One roll has Donnie’s beautiful “puckering” face. One roll has his “angry” face for when Nancy “Ripper” Pelosi is “misbehaving” and the third roll has some of the 45th president’s greatest “Tweets” for joyful bathroom chuckles.

It’s an “intimate” way to spend even more time with your “favorite” President. And if you “dislike” Trump, well…let’s just say this 3-ply tissue is very “absorbent.”

You can’t take back your “vote” for Trump, but if you don’t like his toilet paper just send it back “unopened” for a full refund. Donnie doesn’t care.” Just don’t “use” it before you return it!

A companion item is the Donald Trump “Toilet Brush Bowl” making your toilet “great” again and drain the “swamp” just like the one in Washington DC.

A few great men and women have admitted that they’d thought of their best ideas while on the toilet.

10 Things That Are Always Better To Do While On The Toilet
True Toilet Equality
Latino Toilet Scrubbers
Islam Toilet Etiquette

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