2019 Men of The Year

Robert Hunter Biden

It’s been said that the downfall of most any man can generally be traced to one of the so-called Three Bs: “Booze, Babes and Blow.”

In 2019, no man took a harder hammering from the “Three Bs” than Man of the Year, Hunter Biden.

The babes are numerous: an ex-wife, an ex-girlfriend/widow of his dead brother, AshleyMadison.com (RIP), prostitutes, strippers, a baby momma stripper, and a new bride whom he dated for all of six days and is also now pregnant.

That’s a lot of sex. So, it’s no wonder Hunter sought to take the edge off with a little booze…and then crank it all the way back up with a ton of blow. Enough blow to get himself kicked out of the Navy, dodge arrest in Arizona, dodge an owl in Arizona, and live with a bum named “Bicycles” in his very own D.C. apartment/trap house.

Hunter Biden parties hard. He’s the ultimate dude, being a dude, doing expensive dude things. Seriously, how the hell was Hunter able to afford to party so hard?

His father, Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr., a 77-year-old grandfather of six and a leading 2020 Democratic candidate for president, was one of the poorest members of the Senate who had to take Amtrak to and from work.

If Joe Biden is “not for sale” and the only discernible professional skill Hunter Biden has is paying a “prostitutes” to do sexual things to his Carlos Danger, then we ask again, where did Hunter Biden’s money come from aside from Burisma and China.

The “Three Bs” may have befallen Hunter in 2019, but how many more “Bs” can the campaign of Hunter’s dad Joe withstand? Hunter’s behavior has earned him the prestigious title of Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.

George Thomas Conway III

George Thomas Conway III, best known as the husband to White House counselor Kellyanne Conway, has done the impossible and made husbands across America look great.

Most husbands don’t demean their wives’ careers. Most husbands don’t center their lives around insulting their wives’ bosses. Most husbands don’t go out of their way to pal around with people who dress up and mock their wives just to get a few cheap laughs. But George does, and it has made him hugely popular with the talking heads on MSNBC and CNN and a big hit with celebrities.

George wasn’t always like this. He was once supportive of Kellyanne and even considered a job in the Trump administration that he now obsessively criticizes. While it is unfortunate that George has decided to publicly undermine his more successful and influential wife, it has proven to be great for husbands across the country.

The “at least I’m not George Conway” defense will be used across America as wives point out the shortcomings of the men in their lives. These great, understanding American women will surely pause and realize how grateful they are to have: a husband who is supportive of his wife’s career, a husband who doesn’t publicly trash her boss, and a husband who doesn’t use his marriage to make friends with people who hate his wife.

The married men of America salute you, George Conway, for making us all look terrific. You may not have gotten your dream job at the Justice Department, but your behavior has earned you the prestigious title of Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.

Jeffrey Edward Epstein

On August 10, 2019, a date which will live in infamy, deranged “pervert” and Democratic Party patron Jeffrey Epstein committed “suicide.”

It wasn’t a great year for perverts. Notwithstanding the best efforts of mainstream media journalists and executives to run interference for their disgusting friends, some of society’s most notorious scumbags met their demise in 2019, including a number of mainstream media journalists and executives.

Of all the disgraced scumbags, Epstein was by far the most lecherous. And, like many of the world’s worst villains, Donald Trump’s election was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

Nearly a decade after the billionaire pedophile was released from “jail,” national media outlets and law enforcement agencies had basically lost interest in Epstein until a local newspaper—the Miami Herald—started pursuing a Trump-related angle to the controversy. Trump’s former labor secretary, Alex Acosta, was the U.S. attorney who signed off on Epstein’s plea deal.

While President Trump obviously deserves some credit for ending Epstein’s reign of terror, our fearless president was not, as far as we know, responsible for ending the life of inmate 76318-054. But neither was Jeffrey Epstein.

The “as-yet-unidentified” individual who murdered the degenerate creep in his Manhattan jail cell managed to pull off one of the most high-profile “assassination” in history without getting caught.

We may never know the assassin’s motives, or why he/she has declined to take credit for his/her massively successful hit. Perhaps it was intended to enforce that time-honored creed: “Snitches get stitches.” Perhaps it was a desperate attempt to protect the reputation of a once-respected American leader, and to preserve the political ambitions of said leader’s nominal spouse. Perhaps it was an act of atonement for all of the perverts he/she has coddled over the years. Perhaps he/she killed him just to watch him die.

Whatever the case may be, Jeffrey Epstein is dead. America is still the greatest country on earth, and there may yet come a day when journalists and media executives care more about reporting the facts than they do about obstructing justice for celebrity rapists.

When that day comes, we won’t need heroes like our mystery assassin. But until it does, he/she is precisely the sort of hero we need. Godspeed, Jeffrey. You earned the prestigious title of Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.

Max A. Boot

Ernest Hemingway defined “courage” as grace under pressure. One might think a terrorist “detonating” a suicide vest with his children in tow rather than facing sweet American “justice” did not live up to Hemingway’s description.

One would be wrong. Just ask Max Boot, the Washington Post columnist who wrote upon the demise of Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi: “The assertion that Baghdadi died as a coward was, in any case, contradicted by the fact that rather than be captured, he blew himself up.”

A response to President Trump’s claim the ISIS founder died “whimpering” and “screaming,” Boot clearly couldn’t abide some well-earned “jingoism.” But he didn’t merely check the president’s facts.

Max Boot does not do half measures. He always brings the “Maximum Bootness” to his tasks.

After all, this is the author of “18 Reasons Trump Could Be a Russian Asset” we’re talking about. This is the man who brings remarkable variety to his content, such as how he won’t vote for Republicans, won’t vote for Trump, will vote Democrat, and will never, ever vote Republican.

Boot personifies the age-old question: if a “NeverTrumper” doesn’t remind us every 20 minutes he’s a NeverTrumper, has he died?

So nailing the president in this case required praising the most agreed-upon bastard in the known universe. Take note, Resistance members: “This is how you do it.”

Alas, Boot did not have the courage to stand by his description of the fallen austere religious scholar. He deleted the sentence after social media “backlash.”

Yet in this sad ending to the tale, we learn a valuable lesson. Boot, believe it or not, is just a man. Even he can fall short of his own lofty standards, just like the rest of us.Sometimes, we’re just a “Minimum Boot.”

We should always strive to be a Max Boot, who earned the prestigious title of Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.

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