Dog & Pony Show

Dog & Pony Show

After years of service, “Dog and Pony” have retired from “The Show.” They have now had it, with neigh a “whimper nor whinny” to be heard in the Trump “Impeachment” Hearings.

The “Dog and Pony” were seen prancing out of the chambers, “tails” swishing behind them. They pawed to growl at reporters:

“It’s been an absolute barking night mare. We are fed up with being put through our paces every time a politician decides to grandstand, horse around or otherwise make foals of themselves. They should be put in the doghouse, and stop hounding us.

 The so-called Impeachment Dog and Pony Show was especially ruff on us and our families. We won’t stand, kneel or trot for it anymore, and have now retired. It’s time for us to go lay down.

 We also consider the phrase, “The Dog and Pony Show” to be a species-ist microagression, and it would behoove the media to stop using the term. Please understand, we are not show ponies or lap dogs, so quit stalling, take the reins and unleash us. Keep your snout out of our trough and go pound sand.”

The “Dog and Pony’s” Union have regretfully accepted the “resignation”, issuing the following statement:

“The Union appreciates the Dog and Pony’s obedient attendance at so many political circus events. We certainly understand their frustration with the ill-conceived Impeachment Hearings. The Dog and Pony will retire with full benefits, including 401k roll-over and veterinary care. 

We wish the best of luck to the Dog and Pony as the search begins for their replacements. 

The Show never ends, so there is a constant demand for a Dog and a Pony, especially with a Trump second term looming! But due to hurt feelings, we are open to casting other species, like, Hog and Abalone. We admit, it doesn’t have the same ring to it. 

Dogged determination and a keen horse sense are required characteristics, as are the ability to let sleeping dogs lie, and never look a gift horse in the mouth.”

The future of the formerly-named Dog and Pony Show” is unstable. Stay tuned for updates on topics of “Equine Equality” and “Canine Concerns”, as the “Dog and Pony” get back in the saddle, and ride out on their next adventure.

The War on Trump Represents Fear, Not Hatred

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