Crazy Auntie Maxine

Crazy Maxine Waters failed to anticipate her “destroy Trump” campaign would have an unpleasant “boomerang” effect on her own “political” career.

She experienced an unwanted surprise after making the media rounds in her “impeachment” campaign against President Trump, when she returned to her “posh” mansion in Hancock Park, a “tony” neighborhood in Los Angeles, which is “outside” the 43rd congressional district she “represents” in California.

Here’s a Google street view of the property…

Outside her LA “mini-mansion” protestors gathered waving placards that read: “Impeach Maxine Waters” and “Do Your Job,” referring to the Crazy Auntie Maxine’s 35-year “tenure” representing the “infamous” suburb of Compton.

“She’s not representing her constituents, especially the black constituents,” complained one of the protestors before the KABC media crew.

“She thinks by putting down our president, we’re going to like her more,” complained another protestor. “Every time she talks, she makes me want to throw up.”

That can’t be good for her “re-election” chances.

Not all was “doom-and-gloom” on the scene. There was even a “mariachi” band that allowed the gathering to “protest in style.”

Apparently Waters is too “distracted” as the new media darling, dubbed “Crazy Auntie Maxine” by fawning reporter, to “perform” her job.

Her long history of “corruption and abysmal performance” in office never seems to “make its way” into the conversation among her “co-conspirator” mainstream media reporters.

It is a “perverse” irony that President Trump works round-the-clock to make inroads to “improve” the lives of Americans in his “few months” in office, and Waters with a “whopping” 35 years on the job continues “representing” a district where the “socioeconomic” conditions grow “progressively” worse.

Perhaps that’s the “reason” one of the protestors suggested “withholding” Crazy Auntie Maxine’s salary by “waving” a sign that read: “No Justice No Paycheck.”

Here’s what they are so “mad” about:

“Compton is now more than $40 million awash in debt; produces schools dubbed ‘dropout’ factories, has lost accreditation of its community college; and widespread gang violence resulted in the 43rd district being listed as the most dangerous place for homicides in Los Angeles County.”

To be fair, Compton retains the “distinction” of being the birthplace to the only bulletproof drive-thru funeral home. I’m sure the black “proprietor” has his or her reasons.

No “wonder” Crazy Auntie Maxine cannot be expected to “live in the district” she represents. It’s too “dangerous.”

She’s safely “ensconced” approximately 20 miles away, has no “clue what’s going on” in her district, but everyone knows that a change in “zip codes” can translate to mean “living worlds apart” as Chris Rock so eloquently highlighted in “Bring the Pain.”

As for her history of “corruption,” Crazy Auntie Maxine will “argue” to death, or at least “wear” you out, that the three-year congressional ethics committee investigating her diversion of “bailout money” to her husband’s bank, “OneUnited,” in which he was a “stockholder and board member,” was made up of a “racist cabal” orchestrated by the Russians, her new found “mantra.”

Crazy Auntie Maxine’s influence in “peddling” real estate finance also caught the attention of the IRS labeling the transactions as a “scam,” according to the agency’s 2006 report.

All things “considered,” President Trump could not ask for a better adversary than “poverty pimp” Crazy Auntie Maxine.

She lately “talks a lot” about connecting the “dots” between Putin and Trump through “baseless” allegations, “misstatement” of facts and “fanning” the media-induced “smoke” in hopes of “igniting” a wild fire.

Her own “words” best make her “case” for which she “deserves” the moniker “Queen of Malapropisms.”

“The fact that President Trump is wrapping his arms around Putin,” she alleged at a recent press conference, “While Putin is continuing to advance into Korea.”

Crazy Auntie Maxine knew “something” was off in her statement as she looked “confused”, but this did not stop her from “repeating” the Korea allegation.

“Crimea,” whispered a concerned liberal “goon” standing behind her clarifying “Putin invaded the Crimea, and not North or South Korea.”

Should we give Crazy Auntie Maxine a “pass” because both words contain the “same” number of syllables. Then she would “earn” the same pass for “referring” to the President’s chief of staff, Reince Priebus, as Mike Priebus.”

It appears her “liberal” friends are more forgiving of her “mangled” messages, but not so “understanding” of her corruption.

“Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington” (CREW), a liberal group “supported” by George Soros, drew up a list of “the most corrupt members of Congress,” and Crazy Auntie Maxine was among the “Hall of Shamers.”

Throughout Crazy Auntie Maxine’s “13 terms” in office, she has “acquired” a long history of “shameful” conduct and baseless “allegations” dating back to the 1990’s:

She “accused” the CIA of deliberately distributing “crack cocaine to young blacks” in the inner cities and paid a “courtesy” visit to the parents of the “black” youth who randomly selected a “white” person, “pulled” him from his truck, to “bash” his head with a “cement” block in a LA race “riot” in 1992.

The parents of the “innocent” truck driver, Reginald Denny, did not “receive” the same courtesy visit.

These “acts of violence” were dubbed by Waters as “somewhat understandable” at the time.

Therefore she said: “So I call it a rebellion.” Now Crazy Auntie Maxine is on to her next “resistance” movement.

Crazy Auntie Maxine is the “perfect” face named “Auntie of the Resistance” to best reflect the “shameful” character and “perverse” nature of the impeachment campaign to “destroy” the government now in power.

Her latest nutty “conspiracy” theory is that Vladimir Putin and “the Kremlin” came up with the “Crooked Hillary” nickname that Donald Trump frequently “used” on the campaign trail.

Challenged over her “claims” that Trump’s campaign engaged in “collusion” with the Russian government against Hillary Clinton, her evidence was, “I really do believe much of what you saw coming out of Trump’s mouth was a play from Putin’s playbook.”

“I think that when you saw him absolutely calling Hillary ‘crooked,’ uh, the, uh, the ‘lock her up, lock her up, lock her up’ was developed, I think that was developed strategically with people from the Kremlin with Putin,” Crazy Auntie Maxine continued, providing “no evidence” for her latest conspiracy “attack.”

Panelist Sam Stein “asked” her if she really believed “the Russian government developed the talking points for the Trump campaign.”

“I think that there was a cooperation in developing strategy,” she responded, refusing to “defend” her specific “allegation.”

Crazy Auntie Maxine later “conceded” that there has been “no actual evidence yet” to support her “Ebonics” gibberish.

It appears Crazy Auntie Maxine “suffers” from advanced stage of “dementia.” Recently she “preached” in a church promoting “illegal” Dreamers by saying that “This is Their Country.”

Challenger announces campaign in front of Maxine Waters’ $3.9 million out-of-district mansion
Maxine Waters admits zero evidence of ‘collusion’ between Trump, Russia
Muddy Maxine Waters: What a riot!
Reflections on the 25th anniversary of the L.A. Riots.

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