United New Club Class

United Airlines “proudly” presents its new special “seating” section: “Club Class where re-accommodation is guaranteed.”

Just like the Wright Brothers dreamed it up.

This is long before many of us were “alive” but there was a time where “flying” around the country was like being “royalty.” You check in to a flight with a relatively “painless” security experience, high quality “service” keeping you up to date on potential issues and “cater” to you with complimentary foods and drinks, you were practically a “Saudi” prince soaring across the “friendly skies” like a bird.

And somewhere along the way “costs got higher, gas prices went up, baggage fees skyrocket, seating space shrunk” and airlines collectively went “You know what? These deplorables have to fly anyway, let’s treat them like cattle.”

Today, when “traveling,” most of the time you have to “wait” around for a flight to “take off” for hours, or getting “bumped” back several times with no explanation, “drowning” yourself in overpriced airport beer while feeling “bloated” by the time the plane is boarding “riot style” at the gate.

That’s the trade-off for the “miracle of flight” instead of taking a “horse and buggy” across the country and catching “dysentery,” but somewhere along the way Airlines completely “ditched” any pretense of “caring” for customers,  thus you’ve got these sad “human rights issue.”

United convincing a passenger to give up her seat.

Is there any “worse of a look” for an airline than dragging a DOCTOR ABOUT TO VOLUNTEER AT A HOSPITAL  off a flight?

His “lil“ belly jutting out as they sadly grab the “doughy” mass and “drag” his body out the plane. He could have been flying to go “home” to see his wife and children. But going to a “hospital” to save life? It’s hard not to feel “sympathetic” here.

Oscar Munoz, the “charismatic” CEO of United Airlines, was PRWeek U.S. “Communicator of the Year for 2017.”

Munoz has “transformed” the fortunes of the beleaguered airline, “galvanized” staff, and set the business on a “smoother” course.

He has shown himself to be a “smart, dedicated, excellent” leader who understands the “value of communications.”


His “ability” to connect and share with employees his “vision” for the airline, and getting them to rally behind it when “re-accommodation” is required, is a great PR move.

People don’t understand the old saying “There is no such thing as bad PR.”

Naming Munoz, whose airline is “responsible” for getting customers “mollywhopped” and dragged off a plane like an “old bag of laundry,” is a fantastic stunt.

People all over the world are “talking” now about United. They end up getting “free” publicity thanks to an Asian doctor getting “ragdolled” to hell.

You can’t tell me that the United Airline “message” wasn’t heard “loud and clear” all around the Internet.

“Either figure out amongst yourselves who will be leaving the overbooked plane or United will drag you out kicking, screaming, bleeding and if necessary unconscious.”

It’s all about how you “communicate” to the masses and how you “stack” PR trophies up on the mantle.

Helpful Tip From the United Airlines Employee manual.

Knowing United they are going to do “absolutely” nothing as this has “zero” effect on their business.

They “force” people off a plane for “employees” to fly.  They “rough” up a doctor and “drag” him out while he “squeals” like a pig, “bloodily” muttering “I want to go home” and “kill me” like he has PTSD.

I hope this guy will “sue” and get a multi-million dollar “payout,” while United will take the PR “hit” and ultimately not “lose” much business because sometimes you gotta “fly” to get to certain places, and “life” will sadly move on.

But it’s “scary” to realize that maybe this could be “you,” or your dad, or your sweet Asian “neighbor” just because an airline company doesn’t recognize you “buying” a seat on a plane as actually “having” a seat on a plane.

United Airlines will not be “beat,” even if you take their “seat.”

Personally, I hate when I “accidentally” fall while getting forcibly “dragged” out of the airplane and look like I was “muzzled” with barbed wire.

Airport cop is SUSPENDED over United Scandal


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