Archive for April 3, 2017

McDonald’s Butt Hurt

Posted in uncategorized with tags , on April 3, 2017 by andelino

A “hacker” used McDonald’s corporate twitter account to “attack” President Donald Trump in an extremely “derogatory” tweet.

The “tweet,” which was sent out to the 151,000 “corpulent” followers of the @McDonaldsCorp account, was “retweeted” more than 257 times, before being “deleted.”


In a subsequent tweet, McDonald’s “confirmed” that the account was hacked. “Twitter notified us that our account was compromised. We deleted the tweet, secured our account and are now investigating this,” it said.

Three months “in” and people are still “butt hurt.” It’s going to be eight “glorious” years.

Here is a friendly “reminder” that McDonald’s once “loved” The Donald.

It is “sad” that most of the people who say “negative” things about President Trump have no idea “who he was” before he started “running” for the presidency.

Here are  “some” of McDonald’s’ other “butt hurt” history…

27 Feb 1992 Trying to get the lid off her McDonald’s coffee to add cream and sugar, 79-year-old Stella Liebeck accidentally “splashes” the 180-degree beverage on herself, causing third-degree burns to the “thighs, genitals, and buttocks.” After skin graft surgery and weeks of “recuperation,” Liebeck asks McDonald’s to “turn down” the temperature of their coffee and pay $20,000 to “defray” her hospital bills. McDonald’s tells the old lady to “fuck off,” as they had done for a decade of similar “burn” claims. Eventually, a jury “awards” Liebeck $2.9 million in the resulting lawsuit, which immediately triggers a renewed call for legislative “tort” reform. The judgment is “reduced” to $680,000 on appeal, after which the case is settled “out of court” for an undisclosed sum.

12 Oct 1992 Mark Hopkins dies from “electrocution” while working at a McDonald’s in Manchester, England.

28 Jun 1994 The “McLibel trial begins against Dave Morris and Helen Steel. It will ultimately “last” three years, making it into the “Guinness Book of Records.”

1995 McDonald’s agrees to “pay” the federal government $5 million after failing to “notify” the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission of playground “injuries involving the Tug-N-Turn.”

5 Jul 1995 5-year-old Kagan Akdogan is critically “wounded” falling 10 feet off the “Jungle Gym” in the playground of a McDonald’s in Istanbul.

Jan 1996 McDonald’s threatens to “sue” Vegan Action over their “McVegan” t-shirt logo, a parody of the Golden Arches.

15 Feb 1996 Linda Gump “breaks” her right foot slipping on a McDonald’s “French fry” while leaving the Wal-Mart in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. Gump sues Wal-Mart and “collects” $35,173.22.

Feb 1997 In Perry, Michigan, Raymond Bills drinks a mouthful of “bleach” that was supposed to be McDonald’s “iced tea.” He later sues for $10,000.

11 Sep 1998 In Menomonie, Wisconsin, Veronica Minor discovers a rolled-up “condom” in her chicken sandwich.

24 Jul 1997 The British government “slaps” McDonald’s with fines totaling $13,850 for “polluting” an English waterway.

9 Jun 1999 A McDonald’s in Walsgrave, England is “shut down” by government health inspectors after four hours of “serving” food with raw “sewage” on the kitchen floor.

29 Jun 1999 McDonald’s agrees to “pay” the federal government $4 million after failing to “notify” the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission of playground injuries involving the “Big Mac Climber.”

Oct 1999 Veronica M. Martin suffers a second-degree “burn” and a permanent “scar” on her chin when a hot pickle “drops” from her hamburger. Later she files “suit” against the franchise, which is ultimately “settled.”

28 Nov 2000 Katherine Ortega receives a deep-fried “chicken head” in her meal at a McDonald’s franchise in Newport News, Virginia.

Jan 2001 In Hong Kong, Lui Siu-chung “loses” his lawsuit against a local McDonald’s for a “bit of paper” he claimed to have found in his “hash” browns. The judge orders Lui to pay the “defendant” $30,000.

8 Feb 2001 When Stephanie Felty “bit” into a Chicken McNugget purchased at a McDonald’s in Alcoa, Tennessee, a broken “hypodermic needle” lodges in her jaw.

6 Apr 2001 McDonald’s admits that their “vegetarian” French fries contain “a small amount of beef flavoring.” A company spokeswoman says: “We use something similar to beef broth, just to enhance the flavor.”

May 2001 University student Yazna Llulle is “knocked” unconscious at a McDonald’s in Santiago, Chile when a large “sign” falls on her head. The only help “offered” by the restaurant manager is the address of “dental” clinic, which turns out to be “closed.”

1 May 2001 On behalf of 16 million “vegetarians,” a class-action lawsuit is filed in Seattle against McDonald’s over the “small amount of beef flavoring” included in its French fries, which the chain had claimed were cooked in “100% vegetable oil.”

4 May 2001 Midway through her McDonald’s cheeseburger, Jackie Wollenberg notices “blood stains” on the wrapper. When she confronts the “bandaged” employee of the Largo, Florida franchise, he reassures her: “I just had a blood test last week, and I’m clean.”

19 Jun 2001 In Detroit, 11-year-old Vincent Ingram “bites” into a McDonald’s cheeseburger and notices that it “infested with live maggots.” His parents later file a $1 million “lawsuit” against the restaurant.

Sep 2001 Wendy Robinson “lifts” the bun off her Big Mac to discover a “wad of chewed gum.”

Jan 2002 During an “argument” with a McDonald’s employee in West Palm Beach, Florida, customer Carmen Beauchamp is allegedly “dragged” into the kitchen and repeatedly “punched and kicked” by two of the workers. She later files “suit” against the restaurant.

1 Feb 2002 In Panama City Beach, Florida, John O’Hare “bites” into a tough McDonald’s bagel, breaking some “teeth and bridgework.” He files suit against the “franchise” a year later.

May 2002 McDonald’s sues Italian “food critic” Edoardo Raspelli over an “unfavorable” review published in La Stampa. “The ambience was mechanical, the potatoes were obscene and tasting of cardboard, and the bread poor. I found it alienating and vulgar.” The chain seeks $24.7 million in “damages.”

29 May 2002 Two managers of a McDonald’s in Utah “strip search” an 18-year-old female employee, then force her to “pose nude and jog naked” in front of them. She “quits” her job the next day and later files “suit” against the restaurant.

28 Jul 2002 In Sacramento, California, Ta Van Le and his wife Huyen Ta Le “bit” into some McDonald’s Sausage McMuffins with Egg and notice that they are “infested with live maggots.” The couple later “filed” a $50,000 lawsuit against the restaurant.

18 Nov 2002 In Houston, “cancer” patient Marcus Long “bites” into a McDonald’s breakfast burrito heavily laden with “black” pepper. After two weeks of “nosebleeds,” he decides to file suit “against” the restaurant.

24 Nov 2002 A woman bites into her “apple pie” at a McDonald’s in Eunice, Louisiana and cuts her lip on the “razor blade” hidden inside. 18-year-old employee Adam Joseph Fontenot later pleads “guilty” to shoving razor blades into three apple pies, and receives “5 years in prison.”

29 Dec 2002 Sharon Offak, manager of a McDonald’s in Painesville, Ohio, allegedly adds “liquid hand sanitizer” to the coffee before serving patrons their “free” refills. She is later arrested and charged with “contaminating substances for human consumption, a felony.”

26 Feb 2003 In Detroit, Joseph Taylor “bites” into a McDonald’s salad at the franchise on Wayne State University campus. To his horror, he discovers an “already-chewed piece of gum.” Taylor later sues for $25,000.

Apr 2003 While at a McDonald’s drive-thru in Ardeer, Australia, Paul Corda allegedly “hears” employees calling he and his friends “poofters” and “faggots.” When he complains to the manager, Corda is offered a “free meal coupon” Seven months later, he files “suit” against the company.

4 Jul 2003 Government authorities “shut down” a McDonald’s and a Burger King near Buenos Aires, Argentina after discovering “E. coli bacteria” there.

10 Jul 2003 Two sheriff’s deputies in Tampa, Florida are “hospitalized” after eating McDonald’s hamburgers “laced with broken glass.”

19 Oct 2003 While eating a “hamburger” at a local McDonald’s, a Marine stationed at Cherry Point naval base in Havelock, North Carolina is “jabbed” by the broken tip of a small-gauge “hypodermic needle” hidden inside the sandwich.

26 Nov 2003 The British government’s Advertising Standards Authority “bans” an ad for McDonald’s French fries which claimed: “We peel them, slice them, fry them and that’s it.” Somehow the company “omitted” other steps in the process, including “par-frying, freezing, and adding sugar and salt.”

7 Dec 2003 At a McDonald’s in Maryville, Tennessee, Janet Woodby’s 6-year-old daughter “nearly” chokes on a “bone fragment” allegedly contained inside a chicken McNugget.

15 Jun 2004 The McDonald’s Corporation is “sued” by the family of Cynthia Molino, one of three employees “killed” in May 2002 when Frank Nastasi “crashed” his Cadillac into a company-owned (non-franchise) restaurant in Mount Ephraim, New Jersey. McDonald’s apparently “refused” to honor Molino’s life insurance policy, claiming that she was “ineligible for death benefits” because the two-year veteran had recently been “promoted” to manager and was still within her “probationary period.”

McDonald’s Image Dump
Heroin found in McDonald’s Happy Meal

War Porn

Posted in uncategorized with tags on April 3, 2017 by andelino

“Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim.”

In the Name of “Allah,” Most Gracious, Most Merciful, All Knowing, Omnipotent Deity.

All “thanks and praise” are due to Allah, and “peace and blessings” be upon His Messenger.

Allah always knows what is best for his soldiers.

Allahu Akbar.