Out Of The Woods
Why was Hillary Clinton in the woods?
Here are some of the leading “theories” floating around the Internet.
She was filming an episode of “Naked, Unafraid, and Drunk” in the woods.
Bill told her to take a “hiatus” in the woods while he was having a “secret” meeting with Loretta Lynch.
Hillary came out of the woods to give speeches for a half-a-million a pop and to let everyone know you can still buy influence. It’s all about 2020.
She got fed too much of the happy drugs and got lost in the woods.
She heard there was a bar in the middle of the woods.
Podesta “wrote” to staffer Jennifer Palmieri about Hillary making an “afternoon call” to aide Cheryl Mills, saying: “I think you should call her and sober her up some.”
Amy Chozick about Hillary: “She likes to drink. We were on the campaign trail in 2008, and the press thought she was just taking shots to pander to voters in Pennsylvania. Um, no.”
Top staffers reported that they began the presidential campaign by secretly planning a “stint in rehab” for Hillary! “The stress of her political career, the never-ending scandals and her worsening health all plunged her into a life-threatening booze hell.”
A close friend added: “Hillary has been drinking heavily for years to forget her miserable marriage to serial cheater Bill. She’s also hit the bottle to cope with other stress, as well as the boredom of flying all over the world when she was Secretary of State. She turned to drink to drown her fears. Hillary tries to hide her drinking problem, like she lies about so many things.”
Let’s remember that “another” great leader, Vladimir Lenin, also hid in a modest forest hut in the early years of the “revolution.”