How To Win Elections

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The secret to “winning elections” is the People’s Hero, “Cousin Pookie,” the guy on the couch.

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President Barack Obama brought back “Cousin Pookie” during a voter rally for Illinois’ “incumbent” Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn.

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Crack smoking “Cousin Pookie.”

Speaking before a crowd at Northwestern University in Chicago, IL., the president “urged” the crowd to “insist” their hypothetical “Cousin Pookie” vote in the “upcoming” November 8th elections.

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“Starting tomorrow, you can vote too. You’ve got to grab your friends. You’ve got to grab your co-workers,” he urged the crowd.

“Don’t just get the folks who you know are going to vote. You’ve got to find ‘Cousin Pookie.’ He’s sitting on the couch right now watching football, hasn’t voted in the last five elections, you’ve got to grab him and tell him to go vote.”

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Obama famously brought out folk characters like “Uncle Pookie,” “Ray Ray” and “Uncle Jethro” during the 2008 presidential elections, as a means to “energizing” minority communities that may not be as “inclined” to vote as others.

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Some black “cultural” critics have suggested “Pookie,” the name of a troubled character in “New Jack City” which has become a symbol for “black-every-day-youth.”

Do your part. Check your couch, your neighbors couch, the couch at the EBT office, the Social Security office, and the mall where you hang out.

Anyone who does not find a “Cousin Pookie” will be directly responsible for the “election” results, and be labeled a “racist.”

Go Find POOKIE!

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Found his wife but…still looking for Pookie!

“Pookie” keeps popping up in Obama’s speeches

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