Orgy Parties At Target

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Shopping in Target is undeniably an “erotic” experience.

The way that the “red and white” colors contrast with the “items on the shelves” is enough to create a “literal mental orgy.”

Now, if your local Target store suddenly erupts into an “eyes wide shut” scenario, no one will be surprised.

Because Target is a special, unstoppable brand of “porn-induced orgy parties.”

Target people doing their “regular” shopping got a brief taste when suddenly the “music” stopped and all they could “hear” over the intercom was very loud “porn” with lots of extremely NSFW language getting shoppers “erotic juices” flowing.

How people “managed” to prevent basic “mating instincts” from taking over, we’ll never know.

A young mother said: “People offered to help me cover my twins’ ears…others threw their stuff down and walked out. Employees were running around everywhere. Picking and hanging up phones, which worked for about two minutes before it started up again.”

“We can’t do this right here in the store” male shoppers said, buttoning up their shirts and saving shoppers from a smothering “flesh tsunami.”

Future Target “sex apocalypses” are cancelled until all restrooms are “genderless.”

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Shortly following the announcement that Target will observe a “gender neutral” policy for their restrooms, “orgy parties” have been promptly organized by various “transsexual” lovers.

Unfortunate shoppers who “happen to be” in the restroom at the time, some with their children, became unwitting “spectators” to some of the most blatant “debauchery” in decades.

One mother who was in the Ladies restroom with her 9 year old daughter described one of these “horrifying” events saying a number of “creepy” looking men and women “walked” in and immediately began “stripping and petting” each other.

One cisgender “grabbed” the Mother’s hair and tried to pull her into the pile of “nude” people engaged in sexual intercourse but she manage to “escape” from the bathroom with her daughter leaving behind “scarred”memories.

While there has been “multiple” reports across the country of these “types of events” it is far from the only kind of extreme “sexual behavior” observed in Target Restrooms.

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Another problem that the department store has been “dealing” with is the large number of “Glory Holes” popping up across the country in Target restrooms.

In a very short time, Target “gender neutral” bathrooms have become one of the most “dangerous” places, comparable to run down “truck stops and highway rest areas” which are notorious stalking grounds for “sexual predators.”

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Someone posted an “advisory notice” informing shoppers that for the “time being” Target bathrooms are not a “suitable” place for families or “vulnerable” individuals under the current Target “restroom” policy.

“I was very shocked when I first saw it,” said Michelle Obama, a frequent Target shopper, who found the sign.

”At first I was a little confused. I took it as fact. Heterosexual cisgender men were allowed in the bathroom now,” said Michelle.

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Where will Michelle Obama take a leak while shopping for snacks and all things Spandex?

But then, she found out more about Target’s policy that says it allows “transgender”people to use the restroom corresponding with their “gender identity.”

That’s when Flotus got “angry” at whoever posted the sign.

“I realized it was obviously somebody who was transphobic or somebody who wanted to basically state that transgender women are men and that’s not OK with me,” she said.

It’s not OK with Andrea Zekis either. “I belong in a women’s restroom because I’m a woman,” said Zekis.

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Zekis said as a “transgender” woman, she just wants “what everyone else wants, a restroom that’s safe and private.”

“It’d be completely inappropriate for me to use the men’s room. So I see that as someone who just doesn’t understand transgender people and their experiences,” Zekis said.

She and other advocates said “transgender people often face discrimination and violence.”

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“Signs like that create an even more hostile climate for transgender people who are among the most vulnerable in our communities,” said Jeana Frazzini, co-executive director for Basic Rights Oregon.

Zekis said “depression and suicide” in the transgender community are very “real” issues.

“The hate and misunderstanding towards transgender people has a cost and it’s in the lives of young people and it’s the lives of people who don’t have a place,” said Zekis.

“That language you saw in that bathroom is telling some trans people that they don’t belong.”

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Transgender Michelle Obama?

A Target spokesperson said they’re “trying” to find out who “put up the sign.”

Meanwhile, Michelle Obama said she “won’t be shopping” at Target until she knows it “wasn’t a Target employee” who put the sign up.

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