Bloodless Period

Death Of Masculinity 00

The “men” of the millennial generation have tried with all their might to “kill off” what’s left of masculinity, bringing us man buns, male feminists, gender neutral clothing and a slew of men made in the “image” of Grandpa Bruce Jenner.

Grandpa Bruce Jenner 01

Grandpa Bruce Jenner.

But it looks like one 22-year-old university student, George Fellowes, finally put the last “nail” in the manhood coffin: “Fellowes swears he gets his period each month.”

According to the BBC, Fellowes “claims” that he has been getting his period “without bleeding” for three years now.

He says he’s so close to his “best friend and flat mate” Amber-May Ellis that he “gets cramps each month when she has her period.”

Death Of Masculinity 01

He even has taken “sick days” because of his “gender-free period” that he doesn’t have.

“I do believe men can have periods without bleeding,” stated Fellowes.

The student explained his “theory” about syncing up with his flat mate’s uterus: “I think it’s a psychological thing because we’re so close, we feel the same emotions,” he said.

“If you’re hanging out with someone and you’re really close, I think it’s only natural your hormones would sync up.”

Death Of Masculinity 05

Fellowes said that the period symptoms set in “like clockwork every month.”

“I get pain in my lower abdomen and in the groin area. I get super moody, really erratic and angry with most of my friends,” he added.

Though the millennial owned up to getting “emotional” during that time of the month, he made it “clear” that he’s not a crier: “I’m not really one for a cry but during that time of the month I’m an emotional wreck.”

Being the good “feminist” he is, George made it a point to let women know that they “suffer much worse period pains than he does” with his fake one.

“It’s probably a pinch of salt in comparison but I’m just not used to it,” he said. “Most women have it most of their lives and I’ve only had it a couple of years.”

Except “getting” your period isn’t a “sickness” if you’re female.

The BBC notes that Fellowes even consulted his doctor about his “bloodless” period symptoms, but “there was no medical explanation and he was given abdomen pain pills.”

The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists told “Newsbeat” it is possible for George to have a psychological “response” to Amber but by “definition” he can’t suffer “Premenstrual Syndrome” as it is not “hormonally” mediated.

Death Of Masculinity 04

I suspect George suffers from “Munchausen” syndrome associated with severe “emotional” difficulties.

It is a factitious “mental” disorder, in which a person “repeatedly and deliberately” acts as if he or she has a “physical or mental” illness when he or she is “not really sick.”

Transitioning from “man” to what you think is a woman, is a “complex” journey filled with “medical” hurdles, “sociological” pitfalls, and a fundamental “shift” in how you view wardrobe.

Grandpa Bruce Jenner has “faced” all of the aforementioned, head on… and now he is “tackling” arguably the most important and “difficult” step in his transition: “learning how to fake a ‘gender free’ orgasm.’”

For those of you who are not familiar with a “gender free” orgasm, or orgasms in general, allow the clip below to be your road map.

Here is another clip for your viewing pleasure…

If Men Had Periods – Mama Tokus poem

If men had periods…
They’d be men-struating.

They’d use man-ty liners and man-pons.
Thin little Lillets with strings that’re really long.
Girls, we’d be the ones deciding
To go down on them if they were on.
If men had periods.

If men had periods, their poor swollen balls
Would make it hard for them to sit down and be comfortable.
They’d secretly wear big pants, busting out their usual clothing.
They may be excused from swimming.
If men had periods.

Women, get this!
They’d be our blood brothers once a month.
Get tearful at the slightest emotional thing.
They’d get MPMT.
Man-flu? We can only shudder at what Man-Cramps might bring.

Maybe periods for a man would be celebrated,
Shouted about, ranked, displayed, rated.
“I’m Super-Plus. Yeah, well I’m Super-Duper Plus.”
If men had periods.

Sports superstars would advertise “Le-llets”
The Best A Man Can Get!
Featuring Kevlar-String Theory TM
For toughness and ultra-confidence
Keeping you on top of your game when you’re on.

With geezers on the rag, football matches could turn really ugly.
Or not. Maybe there’d be tribes of weepy men
With all that league-table estrogen.
Imagine: The Moon Cup Final…
If men had periods.

It’s still a man’s world, right?
So they’d be perfectly put to problem-solve on period policy.
Vote in menses leave: 2 days off each month
Cut tax on essential sanitary protection
Force through benefits for bleeders

Hear our entreaties, Sanitary protector sweeties!
O bleedin’ geezers!
Power-wielding period-patriarchs!
Boardroom-mates in the majority!
O task-based deliverers,
Supreme Map readers: find a kinder monthly route
For all us menstrual cyclists.

If we both had periods, we’d have to understand you
And love you for it.
We’d know to drape you in duvet and bring you chocolate.
How could we not?
If men had periods.

Maybe machismo would ameliorate
If men were to menstruate.
More wars stopped. Fewer fights,
Less disparity, an equality correction
Maybe put the sanity into sanitary protection
If men had periods.

Death Of Masculinity 02

 

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