Hockey Puck War

Olympic Hockey War 08

The 2015 Stanley Cup champion “Chicago Blackhawks” were honored at the White House where Obama mentioned how the Chicago Blackhawks “used to suck” before he became President.

But then he said he’d like a day with the “Cup” because he has “a steak dinner with Canada coming up, so we may just leave it in the middle of the room.”

Olympic Hockey War 07

Pretty “outrages” banter from the “Hockey Puck Nut.”

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wasn’t going to take the “quip” lightly and gently “reminded” Obama that the “2002” Olympics…

and the “2010” Olympic gold medals were “significant” because that’s when the “Maple Syrup” guzzling, polite Canadians “beat” the USA in the finals.

Obama and Trudeau need to “settle” this with a good old fashion “hockey” fight.

Let’s go to the “tale of the tape.”

Barack Obama is listed at 6’1″ and 176 pounds. Justin Trudeau is listed at 6’2″ and let’s see what he’s weighing in at…

Olympic Hockey War 03

Okay so maybe Trudeau has some “boxing” experience. And maybe a hockey fight is more to his “advantage” as he probably grew “up on the ice” being a Canadian.

Olympic Hockey War 02

But Obama is from the “slums” of Chicago. He’s seen some “street wars” in his life and when “push comes to shove,” he can probably throw some “haymakers.”

Olympic Hockey War 04

It’s either that or we go to actual “war” with those “moose-riding” Canadians up North.

At the “White Rainbow Mosque” state dinner Obama “praised” both the United States and Canada for propagating the “idea that if you work hard and play by the rules, you can make it if you try, no matter the circumstances of your birth.”

“We see this in our current presidential campaign. After all, where else could a boy born in Calgary grow up to run for president of the United States?”

Olympic Hockey War 06

While the Russian campaign against Islamic “extremists” in Syria ratcheted up with the launching of cruise missiles at ISIS sites Vladimir Putin celebrated his 63rd birthday by lacing up the skates and playing some hockey.

It served as a “stark” reminder of the difference between the “Russian leader” and our own arugula eating “Wimp-in-Chief.”

Emperor Obama is more at home “fondling” his putter on the golf course than engaging in anything even the slightest bit “manly” save the occasional game of rimming “hoops” where there is just something really “faggy” about sweaty men in shorts “grappling” each other.

The emir of “Obamastan” prefers more “sissified” elitist pursuits which is not much of a “surprise” given his undocumented “background” as an Ivy League/Harvard “egghead” while Putin hails from the “KGB.”

Sorry, Mr. President, You Don’t Know a Hockey Puck from a Hand Grenade


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