Star Wars II

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Two Star Wars videos are circulating around the Internet, one featuring “Donald Trump” and one featuring “Ted Cruz.”

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The Donald Trump video wasn’t exactly “produced” by the Trump campaign. In fact, it’s a “parody,” a very funny one.

Called “Darth Trump,” it shows footage from the “first” Star Wars film where Donald Trump’s voice is “dubbed” over Darth Vader’s.

The parody opens with Darth Vader, in Trump’s “voice,” telling stormtroopers who have just “slaughtered” Princess Leia’s crew how “popular and well liked he is” and how he “employs so many people.”

Then at the 3 minute mark he stands on the bridge of a “Star Destroyer” and boasts to Admiral Ozzal that he is “more militaristic than anyone in this room, I love war, in a certain way… and then he turns sharply to one of his generals… but only when we win.”

Later, when “confronting” Luke Skywalker on the edge of a precipice in “Cloud City,” you can hear Trump screaming, “I hit someone in the face with a padlock! Then I tried to stab a friend of mine whose name was Bob! He was a friend, but now he’s a member of my family” all the while Luke shakes his head and goes “No… no… that’s not possible!”

Later, he is “walking” with the Emperor on the second “Death Star” in front of rows and rows of “stormtroopers,” and Trump says, “The last poll you saw came out we’re leading… I think it’s all about competence, it’s about leadership… I get along with everybody” he says, as you see him marching past rows of “perfectly” still soldiers.

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The Ted Cruz’s video takes the “audio” from the trailer for “The Force Awakens” and matches it to “political” footage.

It really gets going at the 40 second mark, where the “artificially” low voice of the villain, Kylo Ren, says, “Nothing will stand in our way” as Hillary Clinton gets off a plane and then showing video of Obama with the deep voice saying “I will finish what you started.”

Then the video cuts to footage of President Reagan, and a woman’s voice says, “There are stories of what happened”, and a very old sounding Han Solo says, “It’s true.”

All of it, “as Reagan wins the cold war in the foreground. Then inspiring Jedi music is played while Ted Cruz campaigns.”

Ted Cruz has some strong “opinions” about Star Wars, saying that any candidate who’d say “Luke Skywalker” is the character they’d like to be most, should be “eliminated right off the bat.”

Watch to see who Cruz says he’d “like to be” from the Star Wars franchise as well as his own “Yoda and Darth Vader” impressions.

You can see him at the 45 second mark, doing a very credible Yoda “There is no try, only do” impression, as well as a very “lame” Darth Vader voice at the 55 second mark.

Donald Trump says that he and Ted Cruz have very similar views.

But when “pressed” he says there are some “differences,” like the fact that he, Donald Trump, has a much better temperament to be President than Ted Cruz.

In some ways this is “laughable,” but in other ways it is very “true.” Let’s look at both “sides” of the issue.

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We need a president who is going to be “aggressive” with our enemies “outside” the country and our political adversaries “inside” the country.

Until a few weeks ago, Ted Cruz was certainly a “thorn in the side” of the Senate establishment, but rhetorically he was “very low key.”

He’s been in the Senate for “three” years but only recently has he “called out” Mitch McConnell for “collaborating” with Obama and the Democrats.

For years I have watched him say things like, “Leadership promises me they will fight next time and I take them at their word.” Only recently has he “called” Mitch McConnell a “liar,” which he is.

Interviewed by “illegal” alien radical “advocate” Jorge Ramos, Cruz makes his conservative “points” but in a low key, soft, almost “apologetic” tone.

When asked about so called “transgendered” in the military he only says the military shouldn’t be a “cauldron of social experiments.”

All this has “changed” in recent weeks as his “rhetoric, volume and even tone of voice” have changed.

Now he thunders about the need to “shut down useless departments” of the government, and “carpet-bomb” ISIS.

In the “thundering” department, Donald Trump has Cruz “beaten” hands down. He made it “acceptable” to talk about deporting “illegal” aliens.

He was the first to call for a “temporary ban” on Muslim immigration. He’s not afraid to take on “any” issue, except perhaps big bloated agri-corps who want ethanol mandates.

When the media “attacks” him, he “bites” back. Articles have actually been written “stating” that GOP establishment billionaires are “afraid” to attack Trump for fear he will attack back!

He has “single” handedly taken down Jeb Bush, for which he deserves “tremendous” gratitude, and he is starting in on Hillary Clinton in a great way, calling her “tired and weak.”

Trump’s much “more” of a fighter, even than Ted Cruz, and we “need” a fighter.

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But, on the other hand, Ted Cruz is more “balanced.” He doesn’t pick “enemies” needlessly. Every word is “measured and considered,” which can be viewed as “timid or thought-out,” depending on your perspective.

Donald Trump is like a “Terminator” with no friend or foe sensor. He called Megyn Kelly a “bimbo,” rightfully so. I wince when he said that Ben Carson, a thoroughly decent man, has “pathological illness”, which Carson was obviously only using as a “metaphor” for his youthful violent nature.

He also made a “swipe” at Ted Cruz’s religion by saying “not many evangelicals come out of Cuba”. “It’s true, but I like him nevertheless.”

He told a Jewish group that they wouldn’t “vote” for him because they wanted a candidate they could control with their money. He wants to ban all Muslim “immigrants” for a time, but a much less “incendiary” way of doing it is to “ban” immigrants from ISIS “infested” countries, as Cruz wants to do.

Trump gets “offended” very easily and is quick to “insult” others and get angry. Not the best “trait” for the president of the United States who may need to “build” alliances and bring “people” together.

So Trump has more of the “aggressiveness” we need, but maybe “too” aggressive in some ways

Ted Cruz is a little more “cautious,” but with few “unnecessary and even puzzling” outbursts.

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And then there is Obama confiscating blasters from “Stormtroopers” during White House “photo op.”

I saw photos of “Imperial” Stormtroopers making a photo op at the White House, and something “struck” me immediately as curious.

The Stormtroopers had “nothing” in their hands. Instead of “gripping” blasters, as they always do, their hands were nervously “hovering” around their groins.

Obama “disarmed” fictional characters with “fictional” weapons. How “weird” is that?

So what is the “symbolism” here? Is it…

a) That gun control is so overboard that we are now confiscating even toy guns?
b) A metaphor for how Obama is disarming the military?
c) A different metaphor for Obama’s embrace of an all-powerful centralized government?

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Interesting that he “invited” Stormtroopers but no members of the “rebellion.” Perhaps he “approves” of the Empire’s inclusiveness for gay and lesbian Imperials.

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Church doubles attendance with ‘Star Wars’-themed service

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