Star Wars

Star Wars 03

The most “anticipated” movie release of the year “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” will roll out in theaters “nationwide” on December 18, 2015.

Fans “descending” on Hollywood Boulevard for “premiere night” will be subjected to a “barrage” of beefed-up “security measures” as local authorities prepare for what could be the “largest movie release of all time.”

Here is a great short “documentary” on Star Wars “fans” lining up to see a film…

Hollywood Boulevard will be completely “shut down” between Highland and La Brea Avenue, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

To put it into “perspective,” the cordoned-off space is roughly “four times” the amount usually “reserved” for the Academy Awards.

Bomb-sniffing dogs will “patrolling” the perimeters of the press tent, where “stars” like Harrison Ford, John Boyega and director J.J. Abrams will “speak” to the media before “entering” the premiere.

Star Wars 00

Each of the three theaters in the “closed-off” section of Hollywood Boulevard — “the Dolby Theatre, the El Capitan, and the TCL Chinese Theater” — will screen the film “simultaneously” Monday night, meaning more than “5,000 people” will catch the first-ever showing.

Law enforcement “sources” told TMZ that anyone “walking” in the area around the theaters could be “subjected” to random searches.

While the source told the outlet there are no specific “threats” against the premiere, law enforcement is using an “abundance of caution” due to the amount of people involved.

Disney reportedly “paid” $20,000 to hire “extra” LAPD officers to “patrol” the event.

Some die-hard fans have “camped” out on Hollywood Boulevard for as long as a “week” before the premiere, “pitching” tents near the entrance of the Chinese Theater.

Two Australian super-fans are planning to get married shortly before the film’s “debut” in a ceremony orchestrated by the theater.

The bride is to “wear” a white dress affixed with “handmade” crystal X-wing fighters, according to the Daily Mail.

Not everyone, however, is “excited” about the upcoming movie.

Star Wars 04

A seventh grader from Rosenberg, TX was told to cover up his Star Wars t-shirt with the “Stormtrooper’s Gun” because it is “offensive.”

And MSNBC host, Melissa “Tampon” Harris Perry, in addition to comparing black people to bestial Wookies, complained that Star Wars is “racist” because Darth Vader totally looks like a “black” guy.

Referring to “Darth Vader,” Perry went off on a “rant” pointing out what she believes to be “racism” in one of the “highest-grossing” movie franchises of all time.

“Yeah, like, the part where he was totally a black guy whose name basically was James Earl Jones, who, and we were all, but while he was black, he was terrible and bad and awful and used to cut off white men’s hands, and didn’t, you know, actually claim his son. But as soon as he claims his son and goes over to the good, he takes off his mask and he is white. Yes, I have many, many feelings about that, but I will try to put them over here.”

Star Wars “experts” who have looked into her “claim” determined that “Tampon” Perry is wrong.

1. Darth Vader first tells Luke that he is his father when he is still in his black armor, or “a black guy” as she puts it. There was never a point where he didn’t “claim his son”; as soon as he discovered Luke was alive, he took steps to reunited the family and “rule the galaxy as father and son.”

2. The decision to dub over Darth Vader’s voice with Jones’ was made in post-production. He was originally voiced with a Scottish accent.

3. Of course Vader is depicted as white when his helmet comes off. As the father of lily white Luke and Leia, it would have been a little jarring if he was a Korean dude or something.

4. The notion that dark is evil and light is good is a well-established literary trope that predates American race politics, and dates back to the Bible.

5. While there are only three Star Wars movies, rumor has it that George Lucas made a movie where Darth Vader is obviously white and goes around butchering children.

Clearly whackadoo “Tampon” Perry hasn’t seen Star Wars original “trilogy,” because if she had she’d “knew” that Vader was “white.”

From now on I will also “protests” that the piano has more “white” keys than it does “black” keys and demand “justice” just like Melissa“Tampon” Harris Perry.

Star Wars 05

In some ways it is at least a “change of pace” that stupid liberal “race biters” take time away from “bashing” hallowed American holidays like “Thanksgiving” and calling revered folk figures like “Santa” racist to attack a movie franchise with more “devoted” fans than MSNBC has “viewers” in a month.

Indeed, even liberal “race bait” aficionado Tommy Christopher had to “call her out” on this one:

“No, the problem with MHP’s analysis is that it is already a reach, and a factually flawed reach. Although he was known to choke a fool, Vader only cut off one white man’s hand, and it belonged to his son, Luke Skywalker. This is important because he performed the deed right before he claimed his son in the most famous son-claiming ever. Darth Vader never didn’t claim his son, he just thought he was dead.”

So much for “Tampon” Perry’s premise.

Harris-Perry obviously isn’t the only “liberal” who has tried to make “racist hay” out of something “popular” like Star Wars.

You can bet there will be “think pieces” and “hot takes” galore about it “coming” out of the Internet “woodwork’s.”

Still, though, Harris-Perry’s “preposterous” formulation, with the emphasis on “hands being cut off” will probably take at least “silver or bronze” in the other big Wars franchise: “Race Card Wars.”

This is no different from the “lazy square peg” shoving that produces ideas like “bowling is racist.” You know, because the “black” ball is knocking down the upstanding “white” pins.

Oh, and speaking of “Tampon” lady’s weird race-related “head-scratches,” try this one on for size:

Star Wars 01

A major portion of the “revenues” from the film are expected to be from Chinese “audiences,” and it is certainly not because “… non-white actors are not a draw in China.”

Star Wars 02


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: