Rainbow Warrior

Rainbow Warrior 03

It has long been “rumored” that, because of Obama’s amazing superpower as the “Messiah,” he alone can “lead” this country out of “fiscal” ruin.

That he can “fix” Washington, “heal” the planet, “recite” the oceans and “knock” conservative Christian terrorists off their “high” horses and down a “few” pegs.

He has been instrumental in showing this country full of “white” racists how their white “privileges and Micro-aggressions” have created the “race” problem we have today.

But until recently we didn’t know exactly how.

Then this photo that was snapped of “Rainbow Warrior” Obama exiting Air Force One that sheds light on his “amazing” superpower skills.

Rainbow Warrior 01

Here are a few “superpowers” that are very “evident” even to the most blind:

Negotiations: There are few people in this world that can negotiate at the level Obama can. He singlehandedly convinced the Taliban to take 5 low level terrorists for our one prized deserter. It was so one sided that it was embarrassing.

Nuclear Options: Obama is entrusting John Kerry to negotiate with Iran over its nuclear program. What’s not to trust, he has 3 Purple Hearts from Vietnam! When Iran starts to act up, all Kerry has to do is threaten to send Obama instead and Iran is visibly shaken. While its taking Kerry months to do what Obama can do in minutes, Obama is busy saving the planet and unnamed sources say that Iran is very close to taking the deal that Obama is pushing: “taking delivery of all of the U.S. nuclear technology and centrifuges.”

Laws: Obama has been able to do with his pen and phone what other Presidents have only wished. He has been able to write and pass his own laws without Congress or that stupid Constitution. He is able to “throw shade” or use the power of the rainbow for his Jedi mind trick, and it has worked on Supreme Court Justices and Speakers of The House. Most recently, he threw shade on the Supreme Court Justices and they were able to see the light about his “ObamaCare” law.

Foreign Policy: Obama has had the uncanny ability to be able to back the correct governments all over the world by drawing “red lines” in the sand for unprecedented world peace. “We have never been safer” declared “Rainbow Warrior” Obama.

Rainbow Warrior 04

Other “noble” achievements under “Rainbow Warrior’s” leadership were:

The Supreme Court rulings in favor of socialized medicine and gay marriage,
Passing the trade act through a Republican Congress,
Confederate flags are offensive,
Gay Pride Rainbow flags above US Embassy are acceptable,
Restoring relations with communist Cuba,
Iran will honor an agreement not to develop nuclear weapons,
ISIS is only a JV team,
Rachel Dolezal born white is now black,
Bruce Jenner born male is now a transgender woman,
Thug Michael Brown had his hands up and pleaded “don’t shoot,”
There’s an epidemic of rape assaults on college campuses,
ObamaCare is working flawlessly,
The Polar ice caps are disappearing,
The IRS is doing a decent job,
The border is secure,
We’ve ended two wars responsibly,
Hillary Clinton turned over all work-related e-mails,
The $18,200,000,000,000 debt can grow without mention,
People who burn down buildings and overturn cars aren’t thugs,
The U.S. Office of Personnel Management hack is manageable,
We’ve reset relations with Russia,
Addressing climate change, promoting clean energy, and creating good paying jobs,
Increase access to solar energy for low and moderate income communities,
Expanding opportunities to join the solar workforce,
Entitlement reform can be kicked down the road,
We’re more respected around the world,

And last but not least, “Rainbow Warrior” Obama has finally announced his “strategy” to defeat ISIS with “good” ideas and “happy” thoughts:

“This broader challenge of countering extremism is not simply a military effort. Ideologies are not defeated with guns, they are defeated by better ideas. A more attractive and more compelling vision…We will constantly confirm through words and deeds that we will never be at war with Islam. We are fighting terrorists who distort Islam and whose victims are mostly Muslims.”

When a nation engages in mass “delusion” in an era of worldwide “terrorism, intense competition, and nuclear proliferation,” things are unlikely to end well.

That means the glorious world of “Next Tuesday” is just around the corner!

Rainbow Warrior 02

With 15 months remaining in his second term, we can look forward to more “redistribution of wealth, ration cards, adoption of either the Peso or the Euro as US currency, Grecian economic policies, replacing football with soccer, acceptance of the Religion of Peace as the new national believe system, Sharia law replacing SCOTUS and the integration of the metric system to replace the cumbersome and outdated imperial conversions.”

When Obama exited Air Force One “trusting” his hand up the rainbow’s “tail” what exactly was he doing?

Was he calling out to his “gay” brothers and sisters “fabulousness” or the “reward” to be found at the end of the rainbow?

A Rainbow Over Homophobic Jamaica
Vladimir Putin’s Amazing Superpowers
Mohammed’s Amazing Superpowers


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