Hand Pregnancy

Hand Pregnancy 01

Muslim “Televangelist” Mücahid Cihad Han warns viewers: “Masturbating men will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife.” Does that mean the hand actually gives birth in the afterlife or does it stay perpetually knocked up into eternity?

Mücahid Cihad Han supposedly made the claim in response to a call from a man who “kept masturbating, although he was married, and even during the Umrah”, a pilgrimage similar to the Hajj.

Hearing the man’s plight, Han stated that masturbation is “forbidden” in Islam and went on to say: “Moreover, one hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights”.

Hand Pregnancy 02

The “self-styled” televangelist simply told the caller to “resist Satan’s temptations.”

Apparently, many of Han’s 12,000 Twitter followers responded by mocking him.

“Are there any hand-gynecologists in the afterlife? Is abortion allowed there?” one person asked. “You’ve gotta be kidding me!” another Twitter user wrote. “The only men not having pregnant hands would be the ones without hands.”

If this was true, I’d have fathered about 28,951 “hand delivered” children before I was 20…!

Masturbation is a “controversial” topic in Islam, as the Qur’an makes no mention of it, leaving Muslim “scholars and clerics” to make their own interpretations.

A limited number of rulings condemn the act as “haram” (forbidden), while many simply put it in the category of “makruh,” or disliked.

Some interpretations also allow masturbation under certain circumstances, with a 14th century scholar ruling: “If a man is turned between continued desire or releasing it, and if this man does not have a wife and he fears he will suffer because of this, someone like a prisoner, or a pauper, then it is permissible for him to masturbate.”

Are you “addicted” to Masturbation? Watch this video about “masturbating, fapping, jacking off or watching porn:”

Better to just not “masturbate” or do anything else that feels “good” ever…because according to Muslims and Monkeys it could causes “pregnancy in this life or in the next!”


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