Boner Ride

Boner Ride 01

A cyclist has been “removed” from a nude bicycle race after he became “aroused” by the sight of his fellow participants. The man became aroused when his fellow cyclists “de-robed” at the starting line of the “World Naked Bike Ride” (WNBR) in Kent, England.

Speaking to The Cambridge News, a witness said: “I heard gasps and I turned around – it was a horrible sight.”

“It’s fair to say he was overexcited and got aroused. It looked like he was enjoying the event a bit too much.”

“One of the organizers went over to him and told him to put his trousers on” while speaking on a walkie-talkie to police.

“The man looked sheepish when he was spoken to by the police,” the witness said. The man put his “trousers” on before being “escorted” away by officers.

Boner Ride 03

The “arousal” apparently violated local “nudity” laws because, while non-sexualized nudity is “legal” in the UK, sexualized nudity can draw the “wrath” of police.

The nude cycle was organized to “raise” awareness of the “dangers” posed to cyclists by motorists.

Race organizers made a statement regarding the events on the “World Naked Bike Ride” Facebook page: “We do not accept this behavior and he was dealt with and removed before the ride started.”

Organizers sent out a warning prior to the race. “The police have confirmed they will act on any inappropriate behavior and we, the organizers will support that.”

“If you are coming just to be a pain in the neck and to be the one to end this WNBR we’d rather you stayed at home.”

The “World Naked Bike Ride” bills itself as a protest against “oil dependency and car culture,” and describes the riders’ nudity as a “symbol of the vulnerability of a cyclist in traffic.”

Well this seems a little unfair. And by a “little unfair” I mean the most unfair thing I’ve ever heard of. You’re going to organize an “event” with tons and tons of “naked” people and get mad when “someone” gets a boner?

That’s the “cost” of doing naked “bicycle” rides. You gotta “break” a few eggs to “make” an omelet. If you expect “zero” boners at a gigantic “nude” event you must not understand how human “nature” works.

Boner Ride 04

Sometimes “dicks” just get hard, folks. It can happen when you’re sitting in “math” class. It can happen when you’re “sitting” in church. You can be at your grandma’s “funeral” and your dick might “fill up” with blood. It’s just physiology.

And so if you are “prepared” for at least a couple boners at a huge “nude” party, I don’t know what to tell you. I mean there are basic “cause and effect” rules in this world and one of them is that guys get “hard” ones around “naked” girls.

If you’re gonna “punish” that behavior then you must “hate” human life. Because without “naked-chick-induced-boners” guess what? We’re all dead. Human “mankind” comes to an end.

Boner Ride 01 (2)

Imagine just “peddling” along with your “boner” pointing at your chin? I’ve done many “crazy” things in my life but “riding” a bike with an “erection” never crossed my mind.

Your “balls” on the leather seat and the “tip” of your dick up in your “belly” button just “cruising” along is just not an option.

Boner Ride 05

If you show up at the “naked” bike race and get a “hard” on, you have to “bow” out.

Like “I’ll catch up with you guys at the half way point! I got a boner I have to deal with!”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: