First Lady Comparison

What Happened America 04

The “British Broadcasting Corporation” (BBC), a State owned propaganda enterprise funded by money “forcibly” taken from British taxpayers, has declared that it is “racist” to compare Michelle Obama to any other first lady and “extremely” racist to look at her “hairy” armpits, even though she “displays” them freely on national television.

The right-leaning website “Human Events” posted this “image” to its Facebook and has “received” more than 25,000 shares and 7,000 likes.

What Happened America 01

On the left is a black-and-white photo of Jacqueline Kennedy, wife of President John F Kennedy. She sits at what appears to be a formal dinner table, wearing a dark dress and a pearl necklace. The lighting casts a shadow on her face, creating a mysterious allure.

The color photo on the right is of First Lady Michelle Obama cheering at a basketball game. She leans to the left, eyes squeezed shut and mouth wide open. Her right arm is raised, armpit exposed. She’s in a blue tank top and a skirt that looks like a paint-splattered artist’s smock.

Superimposed on the photos in stark white text: “What Happened America?”

What Happened America 02

It is “racist” to point out that even Michelle Obama herself was “mortified” when she saw her own hairy, unshaved, filthy armpits on the “Jumbotron”, a large television-like screen which is used at sporting events.

So remember, do not look at her armpit hairs, or you are “racist.”
Do not compare her to any other woman, or you are “racist.”
Do not comment on her fashion, or you are “racist.”
Do not even look at her, you “racist” pig.

Gas Mask

This is why we should keep “gas mask” close at hand most of the time!

But apparently that’s not the only “itchy” issue facing our First Lady…

What Happened America 03

Itchy “underarms” from filthy stubble, itchy “crotch” from crab infestations, white people with their “white privilege and Micro-aggressions” everywhere… no wonder she’s so “angry” all the time.

IGtGvI9

President Obama may wish to consider issuing an “executive decree” to erase these “images” from the memory of his “adoring” public.

Perhaps he can “utilize” the same webmaster who ran the “private” email server at the “Chappaqua” hamlet.

I understand there is much “empty” digital storage capacity and “net neutrality” which provides the means through which to accomplish this “memory” purge.

What Happened America 05

More recently, Michelle Obama, after trolling everyone on Twitter to get them to reveal their “workout” routines, Michelle Obama “outshined” them all, releasing a supercharged “kickboxing” workout video highlighting her own “five” exercises to stay fit.

“I want to emphasize that you should only do exercises like these with a coach or a parent around to make sure you’re using the right form,” she warns viewers before “launching” into her workout routine.

The video features a “pumped up” soundtrack as the cameras focus on the First Lady “lifting weights, jumping rope, doing power squats, and kickboxing.”

At the end of the routine, she “reminds” everyone to drink water after every workout. “Drink up,” she says as she “downs” a glass of purified water.

In comparison to Michelle’s “workout,” here is her husband, Barry Obama’s “workout” routine…

Here are some photos of Michelle “before”

fat-michelle-obama-Chile

and “after”

I fire-fart on you

her new “workout” regime…

Further Racial Rancor from the FLOTUS
Michelle Obama Should Have Read the Founder of Tuskegee University Before She Spoke There
Michelle Obama grants black people permission to eat fried chicken if they vote today
Michelle Obama says black kids should keep going to “bad” schools
Michelle Obama’s school lunch disaster

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