Uncle Joe’s Massages

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Uncle Joe “Mensa” Biden clearly takes a “hands on” approach when it comes to his day job as “masseur.”

He loves to give “passionate” massages to “women” everywhere.

Those soft, “angelic” hands are making sure “ladies” all over the world feel the utmost “unwanted” pleasures only Uncle Joe can give.

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Uncle Joe fondling Ash Carter’s wife.

At Defense Secretary Ash Carter‘s “swearing-in” ceremony, Biden got all “touchy feely” with Carter’s wife, Stephanie.

From the pictures, it looks like he’s whispering sweet “Valentine’s” into her right ear while getting a good “whiff ” of her “sexy” body aroma.

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Military chief oblivious as Uncle Joe nibbles on wife’s ear.

She doesn’t necessarily look “uncomfortable,” but then again who “knows” what she was feeling.

Perhaps he was “trying” to be comforting after Stephanie’s “slip on the ice” at the Pentagon while “accompanying” her husband on his “first day” on the job.

In December, 2013, Biden “grabbed” the waist of “The Hill’s” White House reporter Amie Parnes at a White House “holiday” party.

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Clearly laughs were had by all. Happy holidays!

As she appeared to “protect” her underboob, he veered dangerously “close” to her abdomen. The picture “quickly” went viral.

Here are some “other” times Uncle Joe was “caught” squeezing and sweetly “murmuring” in ladies’ ears.

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Love your leather vest. Have you seen “50 Shades of Grey?”

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I need to pat you down to make sure you’re not carrying any weapons.

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Let me be “Secretary of State” when you win in 2016?

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Add me to your “Snapchat.”

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Kiss me, you’re Irish.

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Tell me, whose tie do you like better?

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The Brazilian “drought” has made me super “itchy.”

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Pledging to make every American woman “beach” ready.

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Seen by Obama regime as possible “legitimate” solution to “solve” the ISIS puzzle.

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With Uncle Joe’s “passion,” his love, his care, and above all his “massage” service to the Union, women will be thrilled to “vote” for Uncle Joe’s “erection” in the upcoming presidential “election.”

“Massaging” things, such as employment numbers and inflation statistics, is an “integral” and necessary part of today’s “collective” Leadership proving yet again the great “ability” of President Obama to gather only the “brightest,” most transparent, and most “handsy” adviser to his inner “cabal” clique.

As an added “bonus,” here’s a photo of Uncle Joe trading in his “sweet-ear-whisper” for a “sweet-kiss-on-the-head.”

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Joe Biden Needs a Tranquilizer Dart: Stephanie Carter Suffers the Veep’s Paws

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