Honor & Distinction

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Susan Rice: “Bergdahl Served with Honor and Distinction”

Marion D.S. Dreyfus: “Bergdahl did serve with distinction; pity there’s no video.”

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“One man’s villain can be the same man’s hero five minutes later, especially if that man is a woman.” Marion D.S. Dreyfus has somehow succeeded in knitting the above “bipolar” vision into a consistent argument.

Think about it a minute. We flock to the “Mission Impossible” flicks, to James Bond actioners, eagerly glug down the “research-and-fact-based” novels of Tom Clancy.

Yet when we come across a potential “real-live” agent, we go all “dumb and credulous.”

What better cover could the military have devised than a “maverick loose cannon” who gets tossed from the Coast Guard, joins an FOB base in Afghanistan, one of the hottest of the “flashpoints” in the flaming Middle East, and just…“wanders away from his platoon one day, flaking out enough to take a supply of water, a map and some stuff to tide him over before he hooks up with, oh yeah, the Taliban his guys have hitherto been hunting and shedding from their rocky tents and frantic fanaticism?”

This “dingbat” paradigm has been “studying” the local tongues, no easy task, “Pashto and Dari”, for a year and some. That’s no accident. He cleverly “set up” the people back home by “maligning” the US, the country that has “bred and reared” him in Hailey, Idaho.

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Home Shack of the Bergdahl family.

He’s on record, even on Twitter, saying “obnoxious” things about the States. So far, so evil.

Just to make things perfectly clear, he “jettisons” his military gear, after asking his “commanding officer” if that is the advisable “tack” to take if he decides to…“leave for any reason.” He considerately leaves a “note pinned to his cot” saying he’s going bye-bye.

So this “paragon” of deviousness and maybe clueless “wanderlust” gets himself “found” by the very guys he has been “seeking.”

Now he’s in their “clutches“, and to make it seem authentic, he lets these wild Afghan tribalists “rough” him up a while; he knows that, and is “prepared” for it. But time passes, and he’s “part” of their crowd, does “target practice and soccer” with the gang. He’s not really “unhappy”, though he knows his guys must have sent out “search parties” to get him back. He’s gone native, “beard” and all.

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Everything he’s “done” for the past five or six years would “convince” the suspicious thugs in the Taliban crew that here is a real “deserter,” a guy who “hates” the US, who “ditched” his platoon, who “learned” their language, who seems to have “sought them out” when he had the “magic” passport that would have “clothed and fed” him forever, so long as he is not “IED’ed or friendly-fired” to Allah somewhere.

What better way to “implant, imbed a smart mole to send back intel and hang with the enemy?”

Maybe his useful “transmission” was at an end; Susan Rice was pressing for, they tell us, two years or more to “exfiltrate” this guy. Certainly, Obama, the “Commander-in-Chief ” has done “less than nothing” to rescue or bring back “PTSD” sufferer Andrew Tahmooressi from his Mexican “shackles” for no reason other than a missed “road turnoff” and a few “registered firearms” in his vehicle. Nada, zip, zilcho.

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It is also not unusual to “infer” that for obvious reasons, neither the “intelligence” community nor the “unintelligence” community  in the White House would be extremely “reticent” about sharing what this “defector cum collaborator” was really doing out in the Afghan “boonies” with his unwashed “non-platoon”-mates.

Wouldn’t it be well within the “realm of likelihood” that this entire incident was carefully “scripted” by the feckless Administration or some CIA “honcho” to get one pair of “eyes and ears” up in the ranks of the Taliban?

Even his military mates, ex-, “bolstered” the story unwittingly by reporting that he was “flaky”, had “abruptly” left them, had not been a “part of the base” command in any solid way. All incidentally supporting the cover “ID” of this guy who has been “privy” to the “strategy, conversations, plans and mission” movement of the “baddest” of the Afghan bad.

What about “escape” attempts? Sure. He made a few token “efforts” to escape, to solidify his persona as “mindful or regretful” US military. They were “half-hearted” attempts, and he knew he would be “recaptured” and brought back to the “camp” of ongoing info and Intel.

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So the irony is: “This may have been the first time Susan Rice, Obama and his flunkies—eyes front, Jay Carney!—actually told the truth.” We are so used to “disbelieving” anything uttered by anyone in the present White House “regime” that we automatically “dismiss” everything they say.

And how about that lengthy “debriefing/rehab” they’re draping him with over in Germany? And the fact that he hasn’t yet “even made contact” with his evidently “loopy” bearded, second coming of ZZZTop pop?

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There’s more here than meets the “eye,” or the “ink,” of the “fuddled” media. And maybe the Talibs were close to “blowing” his cover, so they indeed might have been close to “decapitating or scimitaring” him?

Even, “mirabile dictu,” the once and future “truth” with reference to this other Bozo.

Hey. It’s not even that far-fetched.

But wait!

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Maybe, then, he really did “serve with honor and distinction,” putting himself at “risk” every day, should they have woken up and “busted” his cover. There’s another way this could have gone:

“Another scenario, one virtually no one has yet presented but us, is that Bo became a waiter in Taliban-land, and served lamb chops and sorghum, or whatever other feculent stuff they ate there, managing to add a dash of elegance to their yurts and berm-buried hovels and wind-tossed animal-skin shelters.”

Every restaurant wants serving people with a “dash of the exotic,” no? And here they have an expensive piece of real estate, a costly “avant-guard” waiter who can deliver the baaaah’d goods and cattle-hock slop soup with a touch of the “snootiness and hauteur” preferred by upscale customers.

A good “waiter”, hey, in the mountains of Afghanistan? Not ever to be “sneezed” at. He was worth his weight in “peppercorns and turmeric.”

No wonder they kept him around.

And again, Susan “Asian Carbohydrate” now has to be re-evaluated.

Turns out she was right. He “DID” serve with distinction. He never “spilled” a drop. Never “upchucked” at table with the comestibles he had to set down on the “dinner rock” at mealtime. Never “turned” his nose up and “sniffily” recommended the diners go “elsewhere,” should the “bill of fare” not please their “poufy” palates–Pakistan Palace, only 1,000 kilometers away, for the “Boeuf Bourguignon.”

Why wouldn’t this scenario make more sense, given our massive immersion in “spycraft, spy video, Google Earth,” and all the paraphernalia of “derring-do” by Daniel Craig et al., than the present 100% “across-the-board” mockery and “derision” of the man “captive” five years with the “mountain men” of Afghanistan?

Back in the States, he can now show “ethnic cafes and fanatic food foray farms” how to serve up their real-slow food fare with “panache and riveting authenticity,” whisking his “arm-towelette” with the flourish of the very best.

Marion D.S. Dreyfus – June 20©14

As if “cheers and glorification” that Bowe Bergdahl “received” from the White House, as well as from “ESPN, MSNBC, and other mainstream media” outlets were not enough, the returning “AWOL” has just come out of the closet as a “gay” Muslim, giving his fans yet another reason to celebrate his “courage and heroism.”

Rachel Maddow devoted an entire “episode” of her show celebrating the “marriage of the world’s most tolerant religion with the world’s most tolerant lifestyle.”

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“I can’t tell you how happy I am to see the glorious day when gays and Muslims stand hand in hand,” said Maddow, “This is just more proof, not that we needed any, that right-wing Christian Nazis are not only out of the mainstream, but fading away in our culture altogether. Maybe we can even deport Ken Ham back to Australia.”

American Taliban Comes Home to Roost

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