Heavenly Residence

Former New York City mayor Michael R. Bloomberg believes he’s going “straight” to heaven after working to eliminate “smoking, obesity,” and his efforts to “promote gun control.”

Here’s the full context of Bloomberg’s heaven quotation:

“Mr. Bloomberg was introspective as he spoke, and seemed both restless and wistful. When he sat down for the interview, it was a few days before his 50th college reunion. His mortality has started dawning on him, at 72. And he admitted he was a bit taken aback by how many of his former classmates had been appearing in the “in memoriam” pages of his school newsletter. But if he senses that he may not have as much time left as he would like, he has little doubt about what would await him at a Judgment Day. Pointing to his work on gun safety, obesity and smoking cessation, he said with a grin: “I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.”

As for the “gun control” push, Bloomberg wants gun rights advocates to “fear” him.

He plans to spend $50 million this year building a nationwide “grass-roots network” to motivate low information voters who feel strongly about “curbing” gun violence, an organization he hopes can eventually “out muscle” the National Rifle Association.

“We’ve got to make them afraid of us,” he said.

Bloomberg plans to merge his “Mayors Against Illegal Guns” and “Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America” into a new group called “Every town for Gun Safety.”

Maybe the four “blood moons” encouraged Michael to do some “soul” searching of “late” to purchase a “heavenly residence” in the great hereafter.

Has “communism” added a touch of “deism” to its Jewish “atheism” as a sort of “insurance” policy?

Since Bloomberg is a “non-believing” Jew he must be “quoting” the Old Testament.

I think the New Testament application is “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven,” unless he donates heavily to gun control.

This should at least dispel the “outdated” belief that you can’t “buy” your way into heaven.

According to the Bible, Jesus died for “sinners” who didn’t have enough money to “purchase” heaven on their own.

Sorry Michael, I don’t believe the “Apostle of Affluence” theory.

Now, go in “peace” and spread your “gospel” to the “one” percenter.