Collectivize the NFL!

NFL 01Now that the Super Bowl is over it is time to rethink professional football.

Many young progs are running around claiming “team ownership”, touting that it is “their” team is the best.

The “ugly” truth is that the teams are owned by some bourgeois “one percenter” and they owe you, “the fans,” nothing.

They are “exploiting” you and getting “rich” as a result.

NFL 02

Football is a “business” and you have been tricked into buying “branded” items to advertise for them with “no compensation!”

Stop being “exploited!”

The last big game also showed “disparity” in awarding points. Denver worked so “hard to get to the game” and yet they were not “rewarded fairly” for their efforts.

NFL 03

This “inequality” must not be allowed to “poison” the minds of the collective!

We must therefore look to the glorious progressive “stockholders” in Green Bay that holds “ownership” of their team, and call for all “football teams” to be collectivized.

End the “exploitation” of the fans by the bourgeoisie! We must also demand that “all points” are distributed equally.

Remember in the glorious progressive world of “Next Tuesday” there are no winners and losers, “only winners!”

Every team should get a “trophy” at the end of the year,  just like the “pee-wee” soccer leagues around the country. It is only fair.

NFL 04

National Football League of the Soviet Socialist Republic!

Overheard on the street…

Football players should be in a circle passing the ball clockwise to ensure equal time. Anyone holding the ball too long should go to reeducation camp to teach them about community sharing

Sports leagues by definition are socialist, even if they don’t get any outside taxpayer assistance in the form of stadium deals.

The principles of free-market economics break down completely in sports because a sports league can’t exist if a sizeable number of its teams are going out of business. So a sports league like the NFL must walk a fine line between competition on the field and financial equality off the field.

Personally, I think the NFL goes way overboard when it comes to equality, to the point that is has practically legislated equality into its operations. Nowadays, an NFL team doesn’t have to do much to build a competitive team. Between the salary cap, non-guaranteed contracts, and draft rules, you’re almost at the point where a team just has to sit around and wait for its turn to be a Super Bowl contender.

This is satire but it would serve the NFL right if something like this did come to pass after the stunt they pulled in favor of tyranny and against religious freedom this past week.

Of course, the NFL already is largely socialist in design. Profit sharing, worse records yield high draft picks, millionaire union members, begging the local communities pay for their stadiums, etc.

I think they should lose their tax-exempt status.

A fine plan, comrade, but unfortunately the people aren’t ready for its full inception. As a temporary measure – only temporary, mind you, until the people are better acquainted with the nuances of advanced social thought – the referees will receive all the points and distribute them according to the axioms of class solidarity and the proper management of the relations of production. There will, naturally, have to be quite a few more referees to see that all of the rules enacted by a benevolent state are applied, and certain…penalties…administered to players who object to the arrangement.

The necessity for the referees will diminish as the players gradually come to accept the precepts of social justice, and the referees as a class will slowly wither away, leaving behind them a new, fairer, and more equitable game. In the meantime, though…well, it will be very good to be a referee. Up the revolution!

The one thing I can agree with is with respect to advertising for particular team by wearing branded clothing.

Whenever I see some adult pot-bellied male sporting a $150 Patriots jersey or a $35 Jets cap, I want to scream out at him to have some pride and self-respect. You are not “on the team” just because you purchased some overpriced piece of merchandise. You are being a tool! You are also being a fool! Grow up.

After PC insanity, fags on parade, and $128,500 per family for tickets/parking/concessions I had it with football.

City of Green Bay does not own the team. It is owned by hundreds of thousands of individual stockholders like myself.

Why wasn’t the NFL charged with extortion when they threatened the AZ Gov with pulling the Super Bowl if she didn’t veto the bill?

Nice Anti-Trust Exemption you’ve got there….hate to see anything bad happen to it. That explains why the NFL is so PC these days.

The NFL – America’s Socialist Pastime
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NFL Racism
NFL Lip Readings
NFL Pro Bowl Alternative

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