Masturbate for Peace

Masturbation 03It turns out the United States Marin Corps doesn’t much care for Marines using “port-a-potties” as a “masturbation facility.”

According to Business Insider, a “notice” was placed at Camp Leatherneck in Helmand province, Afghanistan, telling Marines to either “stop masturbating in the port-a-potties” or face “disciplinary action under Article 92 UCMJ,” a code that allows military command to prosecute troops for any “failure to obey an order or regulation.”

Apparently, the notice came as a response to the “illness” caused by copious amounts of “bodily fluid discharge” that had been deposited in the “masturbation” facilities.

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No mention was made of what “specific illness” they were referring, but one Navy Corpsman and medic “weighed” in on the issue.

“Unless they’re getting semen in an open wound, there’s no way,” said Petty Officer 2nd Class Eric Dodson, a Corpsman with 2nd Marine Division in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina.

“There’s no trans dermal infection passable through semen, at least to my knowledge.”

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So, until this matter is “resolved”, it seems the Marines at Camp Leatherneck are going to have to find another “masturbation” station to discharge their “bodily fluid.”

We should not “mock” our brave soldiers.

Growing up in “public” schools, these fine young men have been “trained” early on in this “war technique” since kindergarten.

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We should “applaud” their skills of “masturbation” and how to use their “guns” during boot camp.

They’re only masturbating for peace… Is that “too much” to ask?

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