Priapism

Viagra and Cialis apparently have nothing on a BMW motorcycle seat. According to a lawsuit filed in San Francisco Superior Court, the seat left its driver with a “two-year erection.”

Henry Wolf filed suit against BMW North America and Corbin-Pacific, Inc. He claimed in the lawsuit that the “ridged seat” of his 1993 BMW motorcycle caused him mental and emotional anguish after it left him with a severe case of “priapism, aka a long-lasting erection.”

Wolf said he rode the motorcycle in San Francisco on a four-hour round trip on May 1, 2010 and developed the priapism soon after. Wolf “has been experiencing continuing problems since his motorcycle ride,” his attorney, Vernon Bradley of Sausalito wrote in the lawsuit. “He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.”

Commercials for erectile dysfunction medications like Cialis end with a warning that individuals should contact their doctor if they have an erection that lasts for more than four hours. After 20 months, Henry Wolf decided to contact a lawyer instead, claiming that the seat on his BMW motorcycle gave him an erection lasting nearly two years.

As those erectile dysfunction commercials so regularly note, priapism can technically be onset after just four hours and is generally considered an emergency medical condition. The condition is named after the Greek fertility god “Priapus, who is commonly depicted as having an unusually large erection.”

There have been several instances alleging erectile dysfunction as a result of narrow motorcycle seats but that this appears to be the first case where a medical condition with the exact opposite effect has been alleged. Urology Dr. Michael Luts who said there is “no medical data” to support Wolf’s claim, again citing the evidence that riding a motorcycle for an extended period of time typically works against the body’s ability to “achieve sexual arousal.”

“It’s been long-known that compression of the neurovascular supply to the penisif it’s compressed for a period of time, whether it be on a bicycle seat or some other deviceit can actually cause prolonged numbness of the genitalia,” Lutz said.

The reason Viagra and Cialis tells you to call your doctor is that blood in an erection isn’t circulating. If you maintain an erection for that long the blood is no longer oxygenated; and an area not getting oxygenated blood tends to die… and fall off. So by the 6 month date his penis would most likely have fallen off like he’d put a tourniquet on it. Or more likely, as mentioned above, it would have simply killed him. Maybe you could still call it an erection after that; but I’m not sure that would qualify according to the clinical photograph of priapism picture below.

The lawsuit was filed on April 26 in San Francisco Superior Court in California, requesting a jury trial. Lawyer Vernon Bradley says Wolf suffered from chronic pain after his injury. Several weeks after his injury, Wolf underwent a procedure in hopes to draw blood away from his genitals in an effort to ease his erection, Bradley said. Wolf’s problem recently changed from non-stop erection to impotency, Bradley says, and he may have to undergo surgery to fix the problem. Wolf is suing in excess of $25,000 for general negligence and liability. He is seeking reimbursement for lost wages, hospital and medical expenses, and general damage.

No word yet from BMW, but apparently both the motorcycle and medical communities are baffled by Wolf’s condition, since motorcycle seats are much more likely to cause a very different problem, namely “impotence.” Either way, be careful out there bikers “those seats are definitely not working in your favor.”

It’s a pity that he had an erection for two years and apparently no one noticed except a lawyer? At least the erection wasn’t so bad as the guy who had sex with the “hot tailpipe” which made his dick completely unusable.

This “boner” business happened to me too! I remember having to sit next to this gorgeous chick driving me crazy all through “Junior High” so I beat this piker by four months. It also reminds me of a song from the early 70’s: “Me and my arrow, straight up and narrow. Everywhere we go, everyone knows it’s me and my arrow.”

Anecdotes overheard on the street:

What does BMW stand for: “Boner Motor Works”, “Behold My Weenie”, “Bang My Woody” or “Big Massive Willy?”

New BMW slogan: “We can get you up and going…for a long time. The longer you ride the better your wife feels.”

Latest BMW Ads: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the new 2013 BMW Viagrasso”.

Confucius said: “Show me a man with a two year erection, and I’ll show you a wife with frequent headaches.”

If BMW thinks this is a problem just wait until all the law suits come in from people claiming “they didn’t get the two year erection.”

He’s suing them? Hell, he ought to be paying them. He got roughly the equivalent of a “two-year supply of Viagra for free.”

He says he is unable to engage in sexual activity! Does that mean that after having an erection for two years, “he still doesn’t know what to do with it?”

I think this guy has a lot of balls for waiting almost two years to complain. “He must have been enjoying it.”

If you got an erection going for two years and still can’t get laid “something’s wrong with you.”

Wait a minute! He is unable to engage in sexual activity because he… HAS an erection? So I’ve been wrong all this time? “I’m supposed to wait for the swelling to go down first?”

My how times have changed. “Remember the days when being able to keep a four hour or longer erection was a good thing?”

Talk about embarrassing! A 2 year erection and not a soul noticed! ”Must have been a really small problem!”

I think the problem is the guy said he wanted an “Ejection seat” and Corbin-Pacific heard “Erection seat.”

If this lawsuit prospers, next we’ll hear the makers of Viagra suing “BMW for patent infringement!”

I think this should be investigated by the “Federal Erections Commission.”

So let me get this straight. You have a two-year hard-on and you’re just suing now? “What happened, it got better?”

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