Kris & Bruce Jenner

Kendall Jenner’s big “Victoria’s Secret” fashion show debut may be a “thing of the past,” but there is really a good “reason” to talk about it again.

Yes, she powered through the “runway” in two gorgeous outfits, “camel toe” included, and then hit up the “after party” in the prettiest “half” bun,

But most importantly, she invited two “sextarians” to the show: “her parents.” But it was Bruce who “upstaged” Kris at the fashion show.

While they played “happy” family supporting Kendall making her “Angel” debut, I have to say Kris got “destroyed.”

That must “kill” her.

Everyone knows Kris is the “Head Bitch In Charge” (HBIC) so getting run “out of the building” by your former husband has to make her “blood” boil.

This was “really” no contest.

Kris’ dress looks like the place mat on the “breakfast table” at Christmas time while Bruce in his long-sleeved black dress let his artificial “side boob” all out.

Kris has those nana legs with “spider” veins while Bruce’s looked like they could “win” a decathlon tomorrow.

Hair? Bruce’s long, “wavy” hair all day.

The only place Bruce was “losing” are those hands which look like they were made to jerk off “pepper-shaker” style.

Guaranteed Kris went home, “drank” 10 bottles of Chardonnay and ripped the head’s off “bunnies” while she asked “Mirror, Mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all.”

You don’t take an “ass kicking” like that without needing to perform your well known, “I’m beauty and power personified” routine.

Can’t wait to see the first mature “trans” flick with Bruce.

Rose McGowan Calls Out “Woman of the Year” Bruce Jenner for “Male Privilege”

The C-String

C-String

First there was the “camel toe” issue.

Then along came the “whale tale.”

Then we had the “T-back,” followed by the “V-back.”

Welcome to the “C-String,” also known as the strapless G-String. First introduced in 2007 in Las Vegas, the “C-String” is held in place with a double sided adhesive.

The C-String is an exciting underwear innovation in lingerie. Say goodbye to muffin tops, visible panty lines and uncomfortable straps. Say hello to a sexy new “freedom.”

The barely-there lingerie has been around for a few years and clamps on to your “nether region” in lieu of a thong, like an underwire bra that you wear in your crotch area.

The C-String can be worn alone under all your favorite clothes:  Dresses,  Skirts, Jeans, Swimwear, Lingerie and is reusable and washable.

It can also double up as a “headband, eye patch, one ear muffin, spoon or reversible flatulent hole cover” depending on your mood.

It can be yours for the low, low price of $24.

However, as Dr. Lisa Masterson warns, “I love options for women, but still thongs are very bad for women, because the rectal bacteria can still wick up…and I think this would do a lot of sliding and contribute to bladder infections.”

According to Alice Smellie this is the stuff of nightmares…

Here are some other testimonials…